How are you?

"Hey, how are you?"

This is the typical greeting convention. You pass by someone on the street you recognize and say “Hey man! It’s been awhile! How’ve ya been?†soon followed by the instinctive response “I’m great, how about you?†– However, do we really mean what we say so automatically? While this common courteous greeting has obvious good intentions, think about this: Would you be caught off guard if the response to your “How’ve ya been?†question was “Well, I’m actually going through a lot right nowâ€, and then the person proceeded to tell you how their life has sucked over the past few days/weeks? I know I would be, especially if I’m on my way somewhere and don’t really have time for a nice lengthy chat over some coffee.

Thing is, in a quick passing encounter like that, everyone knows such a response would be irrational, so we are prompted to say “good/great/alright†– whether its a lie or not – so that the greeter can proceed to their destination while having politely acknowledged you.
It’s funny how we go along with these conventions without thinking about them at all.

Meh...just something to think about :p - and yes I'm bored.

Just like the word “pickles†– ever think about how hilarious that word sounds? Who invented that word? Say it out loud to yourself – too funny.

 

hmm.. yeah i think about that too. like if i'm having a crappy week with family/friends and somebody i haven't seen for a while asks me how i am it seems like answering "oh i'm great, and you?" is the polite thing to do but is it really the right thing to do? that's why if my good friends ask me i always answer honestly, usually the "no." and i won't go on. because i think friends deserve to know how i am. haha

and saying pickles aloud made me crack up.

 

Hahaha...good to know I'm not alone when it comes to pickles :p

 

Haha, that's a good one. PICKLES!

 

I always say honestly how I'm feeling when asked. It annoys people. In fact, I've had people yell at me and say "When someone asks you how you are, you say 'fine, how are you?'.!!!!" That bothers me.

 

I agree with JackS27 as if you ask a question, expect an honest answer. Otherwise don't bother asking. It is a pointless question often asked by people who don't really care how you are, but the greeting is polite and you are trained to ask and respond with set words. If I ask "How are you?" I expect an honest answer.

 

As much as you'd like to think you're arguing with me, you are confirming what I stated in my original post.
I never said that lying was the right thing to do, but its something most of us have been trained to respond with in a passing-by situation.
The point of this thread is to challenge conventions that don't make sense. I mean, if you are on your way somewhere and say "hey! hows it going?" without any intention of stopping and chatting with the person, perhaps its time we came up with some other quick polite greeting that would promote an honest reply, but these are things we don't think about.

 

Pshh... I speak my mind. If someone asks "How Are You?", and I'm feeling bad, I'll say "Pretty sucky. You?" And most people just say "Good" because that's usually how all conversations go.

I screamed Pickles and everyone is now staring. O.O

 

Good one, Misty >_>

XD

As for me, I don't care. If someone wants to talk to me like that and I don't want to listen then I'll walk away. It's just a greeting. I usually just say, Hi, anyway.

 

I always just say I'm fine.. I don't want to get into too much detail if I'm just walking past someone. And if I asked someone how they were and they started giving me their life story I'd be like, "Well that sucks. Goodbye." :/

 

misty's funny :3

me, if i say that greeting and someone was to say something other than 'good and you?' and they would say something like,'my life sucks.'

if they even came close to starting a long conversation i would tell them to shut up and leave me alone, its just a greeting not a life story, geez

 

...I've never really thought of that, but I always answer truthfully even if I'm in a hurry, I'll always make time to talk to someone. A few months ago I met my.. ex-best friend walking past my house and he asked how I was. I answered truthfully and said "not so good. being apart from you and everyone else is torture. life sucks". 2 hours later, we parted on good terms =']

 

when I moved to where I live now It sucked so bad Because I didnt know anyone there at all and i was by myself and everyone made fun of me it was really annoying and all the people were total jerks especially nicole helgeson I hate her so much she never gives anyone a single chance and automatically deems them to be less popular than her when in reality everyone including the popular people hate her and she's so stupid she still thinks the opposite of the truth and refuses to believe that no one likes her because shes the biggest jerk in the school and one day a nice person asks me how I was and i said that it was bad for me and told her everything and we were really good friends afterwards but ya know it was just my luck that her dad was in the millitary so she moved away it seems that all the people im best friends seem to move away it sucks so bad:( :(

 

I never speak truthfully. If I meet up with a friend I haven't seen in years and he says "Hey, how you been!" I'd reply, "fine, how about you?". Getting into details is so boring when you have to get to your destination. Lie and get on with it is basically what I do.

 

I've thought about this often. It really is a social thing. Like already mentioned, its just a polite acknowlegment. Still, it is a little fake. It's like when I drive or walk around my neighborhood and people I don't even know wave at me or say hello. They have just become accustomed to acknowleging in this manner, even if it is impersonal.

Still, if you think about it, how many of you really want to answer that question, especially if its to someone you are not particularly close with. When you're on your way somewhere and people pass by and ask how you are, I know that I just give a quick response and then am on my way. I really don't want to stick around and talk, atleast not usually.

Anyways, as an example, I have done this before to someone who I was not really close with. This was about two years ago one summer. My uncle had passed away and my entire family was in a really bad state of mind. Also, my mother had gotten surgery and was in constant need of care, which only added stress to the entire family. So, this guy called me up and asked how I was doing, you know, how you casually do over the phone before getting to the point. And I dumped it all on him. He was really silent afterwards and the situation was awkward. He did not call me back that summer.

So yeah... its kinda weird. But you know, it is what it is.

 

don't u hate it when u say hi to ppl and they just keep walking and ignore you? and when someone asks how i am, i tell them but that usually prompts them to ask follow up questions like when they say

"hey, how are you?" and i say "****ty", and then they say "why?"

 

Well I think you should anwser honestly to that question. I've had a few of my friends ask me that and when we see that one of us is feelin' crappy we talk about it and then have a good laugh. But sometimes when your really upset and someone you don't want to tell it to asks you that then it's something different.

 

This has actually bothered me for a while. I ALWAYS say "fine" (or some other vague positive response) without thinking. Depending on the situation and who I'm talking to, I might revise that statement or just ask politely how they are.

Sometimes, if I think I'm just being irrational (and it's something to do with them or I think it'll lead to me crying in public), Ill insist I'm fine even if a close friend asks me if I'm okay because I actually look upset. At most, if I'm really upset, I'll say something negative, but if asked why I'll say "I just do".

 

OMG it's troo i nevr thoughta that but i do that all the X, then again, i don't really tell ppl if i'm sad, or @ least what i'm sad about, & i REALLY hate 2 say that.....