Hey, look! It's time's poetry corner.

you and me

With a bloodstained arm,
Pale and thin,
You grasp my attention,
And your tale begins.

I listen intently,
With eyes so wide,
You take two glances,
But still confide.

I can’t help but assume,
That you get a sick kick,
By making me worry,
And fret like this.

I want to scream so loudly,
But my throat prevents,
The echoing anger,
That I want to repent,
From lungs so dry,
And sore from sobbing,
And a head so clotted,
And tired from throbbing.

And yet you appear before me,
With a smile on your face,
Loving each moment,
Whilst hiding your disgrace.

I hate your life with me,
And hate my life with you,
You keep making these claims,
And I wait the day,
That you see them through.
​

 

I read a couple of your newer ones, not all of them yet.
I like reading your work, especially in the state I'm in where I really don't care for trying to translate complex devices. You keep it simple and I appreciate that. You're pretty talented in your wordplay and I commend your use of repetition. Very good so far!

 

You don't have to read all of them - if any of them at all, really - if you don't want to, hunny. Thanks for reading, and I'm glad you like reading my work!

(Thanks for the support off people so far, in posts and outside of the thread.<3)

Tonight God will Shine the Light.​

Tonight

I sit at my bedside,
With dark closed eyes,
Whispering my goodbyes,
As I say hello to

God

Is looking down on me,
And I know that soon it will be,
My time to fly,
My time to

Shine

Like a star,
The white dot grows brighter,
Engulfing the darkness,
And showing me the

Light

Surrounding me,
As God looks down on me,
As the white dot,
Is not a dot,
And otherwise a

Room

To breathe,
Hearing my heart settle,
Into a steady beat,
As the men in white uniform,
Continue their procedure,
Of push, push, breathe,

Repeat

Like a broken record,
Questions queried,
Heads raised,
Faces shocked and

Worried

About the future,
It all happens again.
And tonight,
I sit at my bedside,
With dark closed eyes,
Whispering my goodbyes,
As I say hello to the
God that shines the light on my life.​

 

<3
I really like this, and similar name ftw. c:
But honestly, I like how this poem is kinda simple. Even though I know a bit more detail to what it's about, I still feel for the girl and yourself, who you are describing. And since I'm making an educated guess that you are the speaker, I thought it was about something you would be saying to your friend. I liked it lots.

 

Thank you, m'luv. You see straight through my words and into the heart of what I'm saying. <3

***

Sorry it had to end like this.

You had a set of stunning eyes,
A deep azure pair of blue,
And I don’t think you realise,
How much they made me look at you.

You had a laugh that made me smile,
And everyone would smile too,
And even if I hadn’t in a while,
I would laugh,
All for you.

You had a certain way to speak,
And I would listen carefully,
And you never once had to repeat,
A single word you said to me.
Because I listened.
Yes, I listened to you.

But now you’ve gone far away,
But we will meet again,
And may that day bring sun or rain,
I will treasure that moment with you.

And I hope you do too.
Yes, I hope you do too.

​

 

I really love this. As I read this I got a vibe that this poem is about suicide, but then at the end it made me feel like it was a horrible death. Not implying that suicide isn't horrible, of course. I like the use of words and the nice flow to this poem. I know I've said mentioned this, but do you end all of your lines in the word "you" on purpose? Or is it just a force of habit? It's lovely regardless. The first line was my favorite. I liked the format lots, and I can't really say anything to critique this anymore.

 

I wouldn't say it's about suicide, m'dear. But if you wish to interpret it into that of your own meaning, you can if you want. If you want to know what it's about ever-so much, then I can tell you on msn if you want.
I'm so glad you liked it; you wouldn't believe the emotion I seemed to apply to this one, more so than the rest.
I did the ending of each stanza with the word 'you' on purpose, as it seems to address the audience directly; rather than letting them read through a story, it puts them in the role of being spoken to and such. Perhaps it is part of some habit I have collected, but either way, I do prefer to write that way.

<33

Hello there, old friend.​

Your glistening curiosity,
Snapping through the animosity,
Tearing through the crumbling emotions,
And into the heart of the one before you,
Expressing immense love and devotion,
As the timing began to adjust itself,
And the dust gathered amongst the shelf,
You sat upwards and erect,
Ignoring the dead flies, wasps, and insects,
You stared forward with your beady eyes,
And your swelling heart sympathised,
With the riot that had erupted,
Unto a child so young and corrupted,
You gave your love and all your worth,
To the one who had held you since their weary birth,
And the arms that cushioned you into place,
Squashed your warm and gentle face,
As your skin grew damp from the fallen tears,
That spluttered from the lips and to your ear,
Whispering a dire secret,
With you being trusted as the one to keep it,
Locked away into your heart,
With hollow promises of a fresh start,
And the plans that are growing close and near,
For tomorrow, next week, and the following year,
A boyfriend, a fashion trend,
So much change to comprehend,
But you still listen,
Because you are there,


My little brown teddy bear.

 

Teenage entities

Running from the annotations in my head,
Releasing a gasp in search of sympathy,
Gathering the stolen memories I once shed,
In an attempt to help people understand me.
But it didn’t work,
Nothing ever does,
We’re on a rampage in a world that doesn’t listen to us.

Jumping from the concept of a revolution,
Who would ever think of changing this world?
Alteration is not our kind of solution
We are the retro boys and girls.
We like be free,
But I suppose everyone does;
We’re on a rampage in a world that doesn’t listen to us.

Killing the idea of manipulative authority,
Fighting our rights to the bitter death,
Loving each moment of our bloodlust glory,
Crushing the standards that we know will never be met.
We won’t be told what to do,
We don’t hold that trust,
We’re on a rampage in a world that doesn’t listen to us.

 

I liked this. It had a nice flow and I liked the whole general concept. The only thing; You rhymed at most times, and a few times you just didn't. I didn't quite understand that. Although, I'm not great with rhyming myself; why did you do that?

 

I did this to break up the cliche beat of rhyming poetry. ;D
Instead of a-a-b-b which gets rather tedious after a certain amount of time, I decided to add the odd c in there, if that makes sense.
a-a-b-b-c-a-a-b-c-a-a-b-b-
..well you get the point.

Thanks love, <3

 

Crystalline answers

“Why am I shaking?”

“All in good time.”

“Why is the room spinning?”

“In these four walls, the truth is hard to find.”

“Can I go back to sleep now?”

“Pause and think.”

“Why does my head hurt?”

“It takes effort to make one’s eyes blink.”

“Will you let me rest my body now?”

“Shush with your silly questions.”

“why are you speaking like this?”

“sanity is too small to mention.”

“I’m going to sleep now... goodnight.”

“Careful my child. One is dangerously close to the light.”​

 

This last one looks more experimental than your others. I've made similar "dialogue" poems and I find them pretty hard to pull off. Therefore I'm pleasantly surprised by how you did it. Good job on that! Hope you'll update soon.

 

Thanks hun [:
I'm really glad you like it; I like to please people other than myself with my writing at times. Thanks for reading x

In Character​

You be the hero and I’ll be the sidekick,
I’ll be the blood to your needle-prick,
You be the melody from my guitar,
I’ll be the dark sky,
And you the brightest star.

You be the medicine to my disease,
I’ll be the humid sun,
And you the summers breeze.
You be the picture on my wall,
And I’ll be your pillar of hope,
Standing upright and tall.

You be the conductor of our grand serenade,
I’ll be the umbrella,
Stopping the rain on your parade.
You be the shadow always encouraging from behind,
I’ll be the reflection,
In the mirror of your mind.

You be the pulse that never skips a beat,
I’ll be the music that moves your feet,
You be the person that makes me smile,
And I’ll show you true love,
The kind you haven’t felt in a while.
​

 

Crystalline Answers gave me chills. To me it seemed that the white voice was somebody struggling with death and the blue voice was their wise yet morbid conscience. I especially liked the line "sanity is too small to mention". Perhaps it was the slight alliteration that drew me in, you seem to have a knack for slipping in techniques where they are really effective.

In Character was good, the rhyming very fluid and natural (except maybe with "parade" which seemed like an obvious word to put with serenade. I would have chosen "charade" or something). I liked the poem until I reached the verse about love. It would have been nice to have a poem like yours without it being about two people in love with each other. xD

 

Thanks, harriet ;] <3
You got the concept just about right, actually, which I didn't expect to happen.
Glad you liked it.

A poem like mine? I'm not quite sure what you mean by that. I try to vary my poems like my moods; always switching. I guess I can't please everyone though ;]

 

I like the conversation during Crystalline Answers because it seems relatable to a certain extent, it's nicely written. And I got a grandparent x dying child vibe from it. Nicely done. It was a very sad poem but it expressed your point and the concept in a great way. c:

 

When I said "A poem like yours" I meant a poem of opposites, or things that accompany each other, which is the basis of your poem. Poems like that are nearly always tied with love or romance so I just thought it'd be nice if for once it was about friendship or the relationship between parent and child or something xD

But you're right, you can't please all ;D

 

You'd be surprised to hear that almost all of my poems are about friendship, love ;D

 

Thank you Halez <33

Reminiscence

Give me a moment to stop and gaze,
A second to look back and contemplate,
All those days spent with teary eyes,
And all the times you’ve kept me mesmerised.

Have a look inside the photo frame,
Deceived by happiness with a smile so lame,
A grin stretching from ear-to-ear,
Triggered by the void words I used to hear.

Let’s recap what we’ve done before today,
Review the hollow promises you used to state,
Utter minor grievances in a voice sure to crack,

And hope to god that you don’t turn back.
​

 

I would if I could.

I would be walking on sunshine,
But right now, I’m wearing sharp shoes,
So I’m not gonna act like everything’s fine,
And instead, I’ll listen to some blues.

I would be somewhere over a rainbow,
But dammit, my flight was delayed,
So now I’m stuck with stupid grey rainclouds,
And nothing to eat, which is a pain.

I would be on top of the world right now,
But the elevator going upwards isn’t working,
So I’m just gonna sit in my room and think,
Why does my heart keep hurting?

I would be dancing in joy before you,
But sadly I hurt my foot.
So now I can’t jump up and down in glee,
Instead, I’ll pout about my bad luck.

I would be smiling at you today,
But instead, I’m facing reality.
So I’m not going to put on a happy facade,
And face the fact that I’m not going to be happy.


Answers
How am I supposed to sleep,
When all I hear is your heart beating?
How am I supposed to look good,
When I am hardly eating?
How am I supposed to love,
When you have a constant hold on my heart?
How am I supposed to see,
When I’ve been blinded from the start?
How am I supposed to listen,
When all I hear is your whispering voice?
How do my mistakes make me learn,
When I have not had a choice?
When did you become so nice,
When I have known you all along?
Why do you sound so good,
And not utter one word wrong?
Is it possible to fall in love,
And not possess the will to live?
Is it possible to fall in love,
And not have a heart to give?​