I don't really know how to start off this thing and chances are once I start, I'll just start blabbing incoherently. For the past few months I've noticed that this was going on and hadn't paid it too much mind figuring it was any number of things. Grandpa being in the hospital and then dieing in the fall. Work piling on. My Aunt going in and out of hospitals and nursing homes for kidney failure. But I've been having these extreme mood swings. I'll go from being so angry I want to hit something to just wanting to cry until I can't cry anymore to not having a care in the entire world. All of this usually occurs in the span of anywhere from 15 minutes to a half an hour. And it's not always in that order. God, I'm crying as I type this. Hold on... Okay, I think I'm alright now. I don't know quite what's going on. I've accepted the fact I'm asexual and will likely be alone most of my life. But there are times where I just feel...terribly alone. I know there are other people in the world like me but... Sometimes I think if I had been born male, I could have gone into Seminary right out of High School. I've had that thought a lot too lately. But the emotional issues are the ones I'm most concerned with because I don't think it's quite healthy. And when my mood's tanking, when I can feel no lower...I start having suicidal thoughts. Which both depresses me and frightens me. I've always looked like I'm on the verge of tears and it's gotten to the point where complete strangers at work are asking me if everything's okay. I know my family are there for me but...I don't know. I just feel like I'm alone.
well, this might not be the best advice, but if you feel alone you can always come to us. We might not be there with you in person, but we're always here for you in spirit. Heck, I sometimes feel like that myself, but as long as I know I have people I can talk to and who can help me out in tough times, I'm good. This might not be your case however. I'm not the best person for these kinds of things, but this is really all I can say. Sorry
Oh dear :( I'm so sorry. I would honestly see if you can see someone. I know it may sound cliche, but sometimes it can be very helpful to talk to a counselor who is completely removed from the situation. They may not be able to fix the root of the problem, but they can provide an outlet as well as resources to help you. I dont know how comfortable you feel with the idea of prescribed medicine but it has done wonders for some people that I know that were having problems with their moods. I really hope this gets better for you, I am so sorry this is happening. If you need to talk, just message me.
I'm sure you have someone important to you that you can open up to. Even if you're not in good terms with that person at the moment, it's times like these where you need people like that because holding this kind of stress in on your own will destroy you. I also agree with seeing a counselor. Just find a means to get it all off your chest.
From my own personal experience, to put it bluntly, you are showing signs of depression. I would seek for help and advice right away from a psychiatrist or a counselor (as other people here had advise) since you are experiencing suicidal thoughts. The longer you go untreated, the worse off you'll be. And hey, you're not alone. I felt like this so many times, and I even came really close to committing suicide. As hard as it is (since once we're in a bad mood, we want to stay like that) try to find the brighter side of things and bring out the good things that make you happy. I know we haven't talked much with each other, but if you just want to vent about life or anything that's bugging you, message me or add me to MSN. You can type out a whole wall of text and just let it out, and I won't say anything unless you want me to. I go through phases like this all the time, I know what it feels like. Hey, even I posted for help (for different things, but some things are the same as here). So yeah, you can talk to me or the rest of us here on KHVs. We're like family, and I know most of us have listening ears. Also, another possibility for your mood swings is (dunno if you're a girl or not, but if you aren't then ignore this ^^; ) but you could have PMDD. With help from a doctor, you can get it under control. Here's a link that talks more about it, it has most of the symptoms you're describing: http://www.emedicinehealth.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=43665 and this helps too http://www.depression-guide.com/pmdd-symptom.htm I wish you the best of luck. I really think you'll be alright. :glomp:
I don't think there's anything I can say that everyone else hasn't already said, but like they said, we're all here for you and you can talk to us about really anything if you wanna. Depression is actually common in people between the ages of 13-30, because of the shifting hormones and whatnot that come with puberty. I used to get some pretty bad moodswings sometimes for a variety of reasons, and there's stuff that can help you control them. I like the idea of seeing a counselor. It gives you a good person you can vent to and they can help you.
I'm so sorry to hear all of this. First off, having mood swings is normal for any person who is going through a rough time. Everyone goes through it, and usually, it's okay to let your feelings be known. However, you must try to control your emotions and find a positive outlook on life. And no human is made to be asexual. We thrive on companionship, whether it be a strong friendship or a romantic one. No one can ever truly be alone, but it sometimes can feel that way. We live in a world where people judge you on one thing only, and if you don't have that, you're out. People who judge by those standards wouldn't be real friends to begin with; you have plenty of friends here who appreciate you for who you are.
Actually some people are just asexual :x Honestly I haven't read anything but the op and a few words of the above post I replied to, so I dunno if it's been said. This is from my experience: I can't say anything to help you. Probably no one can; there is something you can do, though. Ride it out. Yeah, just like that. I've been in the same ****in' position as you're in right now. I looked for the answers everywhere... family, friends and anyone I could trust. I even went and tried something I had no belief in and saw a councilor. None of that worked, though. One day I felt like I cracked. I got up and came to terms with my emotions. I got up that day and I had made up my mind already. I was going to end my life. I wasn't even scared. I stared at myself in the mirror for what seemed like hours. Just looking at myself. Contemplating everything I had done(as well as not done). And you know what? I'm here typing. I know that this wont help much. I know we haven't had the same experiences. We never truly felt the same. But I can relate. I've had the mood swings. The constant thought of death lingering in the back of my mind. Just hang in there. I genuinely hope you make it through.
I don't think I can add anymore than what has already been said. Definitely give those links Maka posted a read. And you know that many people here will lend an ear if you just need to vent to somebody.
