Help with Life

Yes! Tis a good sign! She says she'll think about it, she's a definite yes! I use that line all of the time! It always is a yes! Good luck man!

 

Well, can you try to leave her alone and not ask others to talk to her either? The best thing to do seriously is to let her have a few days to think and calm down and let her contact you.

I would also try thinking back. Having AS, might make it difficult to find out what you had done or said to her that offended her so greatly but try to remember the actual day she said she was so mad at you and what happened the day before. This becomes a rough thing to discern because often people with Asperger's do not realize what it is they've said unless someone actually comes out and -says- what it is. That is part of the syndrome and one of the symptoms to diagnosing it.

Basically, give her a few days and then message her saying something to the effect of this (WAIT A FEW DAYS!!) "I am sorry if I upset you and I wish to resolve things. If you could at least tell me where I went wrong, I would appreciate it and maybe we could fix things. Please tell me when you are ready to and I won't bug you."

If you do that in a few days, and then leave her be, she will -hopefully- see that you are genuine and wish to know what went wrong and how. This is no assurance that she will want to talk to you, but it is a possibility. And it's a better possibility really than the other option you are doing now which may be just making her more upset and angry because she may feel rather stalked. You have got to give her space regardless of what happens. Please don't go to other people on Aim or that have contact with her and ask their opinions or to pass on things to her. They will undoubtedly tell her which will keep her frustrated for longer.

As for finding friends in school, the two types of 'potential' friends I'd suggest is to look for either someone who is shy and quiet often or someone that is energetic but does not just 'follow the crowd' and has a unique personality. These two sorts may be your best bet to making friends as they aren't really at school for 'popularity'. There are always teens to find that don't just fit in the popularity circle. A great way to meet some people is to try joining a club where you can focus on some topic of the club but also work on projects with other teens. A lot of people make friends this way easier.

Also, Mixt suggested a book there and you might want to get it and/or also get some other books that go into more on Asperger's so maybe it will help you discern ways to perhaps try to associate with people better and also just give you more of a grasp on the situation you are dealing with. You definitely are not '******ed' and the kid that said that was wrong. You can fight this but one way surely is to get as much knowledge as you can on what you face so you can try to catch yourself. I am hoping you can find a true friend or friends even at school but it's going to take some work. Hang in there and I hope you are doing okay otherwise.

Many teens won't talk to their families about this sort of thing because they feel parents will take it as a form of needless drama and just roll their eyes. Aspergers adds to this even more. A lot of people put things here that they don't want to deal with talking to their families over. I agree she might get some better help from a parent but we don't know if her family is that understanding either. I don't really find it offensive she'd ask us.

I will add one more thing though. Those with Asperger's that I know do have a much easier time talking on the computer to others. They don't have to feel they have to be quiet as much and it is easier for them. I know two people off the computer with it and about six people online, and even some additional members here, and all of them say it is far easier to not be face to face with someone when talking about deep personal feelings. I actually went and researched Asperger's quite a bit to understand my friends more because yes, sometimes they can say some of the most obnoxious things and I was particularly offended a couple times by one person. Finding out that it was kind of part of the symptoms of defining Asperger's made me realize that if I simply took the time to explain to them what was said was not going to be received well by many people and -why- made things easier. Those friends I have now ask me at times things to make sure they will be taken right when speaking. I also am calmer now if they do say something 'mean' and can calm tensions with others.

I do agree Lauren obviously needs space but also Lauren is not telling her what she even did wrong. If the reason isn't even known that's really not offering any type of closure so that Ampex knows whether the problem is repairable or she should just move on. In this, Lauren is kind of also being quite unreasonable. Most people will -say- what you did and why they don't like you pretty openly.

 

I don't really know. I saw this comercial about depression medication to make you feel happy. Obviously I need that cuz I usually feel sad most of times when I'm not around here.

 

Dude, that stuff does not work and you don't want to drug out, trust me. If you tell us what the problem is then we can help you.

 

There are people with chemical imbalances that the drugs do aid them. Yes, addressing problems and all is the way to go but some people do have chronic depression and do need to see a psychiatrist to get appropriately diagnosed. We aren't doctors here so we can't just tell people to not go to a doctor and see if they have a problem or not.

Prince_of_Hearts - If you feel depressed, you might want to try to mention some of the things that seem to bother you and perhaps we can help you sort it out. If you do feel depressed often for little reason that you can put a finger on, you may should try to talk to your parents about it and work up a plan of action with them if you can. We are happy to assist you here but without any actual problems listed we really can't offer you anything but support and hope you will feel better soon.

Also, if you do go to a psychiatrist/counselor, understand that drugs aren't the 'cure' to depression. You still have to work at fixing things in your life and addressing the issues that are leaning you towards depression. The drugs can help make this easier as they alter your chemical balance but they are an alleviation and not a cure. If you do get drugs by any chance, make sure that you pay attention to mood shifts and if you feel yourself getting worse by any chance, tell your parents right away. There are an assortment of drugs out there because people's chemical balances differ and what may causing one person's depression may not be causing another person's. I hope you will feel better and talk to your family if this condition seems like it is really bringing you down. Hopefully they will be understanding and you can all work together to help make things better for you.

 

This may sound like nothing but for me it made all the difference. Make a list of everything you have to do that night (if it's a project then say what piece you are going to get done) then as you complete the work cross it off. Somehow a physical way of showing that your completing it seems to help most people with the mental boost they need.

If it still isn't working then set out a block of time to just work on it. If you do it with someone it will either help you or hurt you. Some people will keep you focused and offer help if you get stuck, while other people will just distract you. If it still isn't getting done then go to the professor and tell him that you put in X hours and you just don't get it. At that point you've shown desire and effort so they don't mind helping you (sometimes people miss-view it as slacking if you don't try on your own first).

At this point I would be surprised if there was still an issue but if there is post here again and I would be more than happy to brainstorm with you.

 

:nono::(:cryinganime::crybaby::rockdoversad:

That line didn't work.

I waited all weekend and Monday. Yesterday, a girl near my locker, Hunter said that there is a girl that I've known since 6th grade that likes me. (I'm a chick magnet, and I DON'T KNOW IT???? JK ) She said that she would be heart broken when she hears I asked out a girl. Aw man....

Then, today, Dominick, my friend, said that the girl I asked out told Hunter to tell me that she DIDN'T want to go out with me. Hunter had told Dom..... I kinda feel bad because I REALLY wanted to go out with this girl. It's not that she didn't come up to me to reject me, its that now my plans are shot.

I'm gonna see who this other girl is, and hopefully, ask her out.

 

Unfortunately, it can also mean a "no, but I don't want to hurt his feelings".
It all depends on how she says it.

Such a thing is called emotional bribery, and the best thing to do about that is not to care about it at all.
You're a free person and should always have the right to decide who to go out with and who to reject.

But you just said that you've known her since 6th grade?

 

Yeah, but I can't for the life of me think of who it might be.
I know alot of girls, but none that I know well enough to date. Thats probably why I got rejected the first time. Well, Hunter knows, and one of her friends, Mooji, knows to. Yesterday at a NJHS meeting, she asked me if I knew who Hunter was talking about, but I told her all I know. She laughed (with not at) when I was done. IT'S TORTURE!!!!!!!!

 

well i have a problem of that spaming its just so hard to get

 

I got a problem... I'm depressed and my family doesn't do anything about it. I used to cut myself, but I stopped. I regret it. But my mom found out and she just says I can't do that anymore! It doesn't help! It just makes me want to star it all over again!
A couple of years ago, my best friend moved. We lived like almost next doors! Then my family moved. To a different city! It was pretty close to the city she lived in. But we could only see each other like 3-4 times a year. And now, she's moved again! And this time, like really far.
Then, since we moved, I had to change schools. And I didn't know anyone! I had to start all over again! And everyone knew each other from the class I was in. The worst part was, it was a total chaos and we had like six girls +me!I made two friends from that class, and one friend from an other one... Next year, the other friend from my class switched, because the boys kept bullying her. They still do it every time they see her in the hallway. They bully me too, but the people from my old class were a lot worse and I just think these guys pathetic.

Oh, and I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't quote me because my sister keeps stalking me by searching my name...

 

When/If you go to college you'd have to start all over again too. It happens quite a lot in life. And the younger you are, the easier it is. ;)
You'll get accustomed in due time. And if you happen to take the first step, all the better. It's much less difficult than it appears at first glance.
Good luck! :)

And how many of those problems has cutting yourself solved?
Think about that.

 

Yeah I tried to move on at least with my feelings for her.

I think that its been hurting our friendship, but I just cant let go.

 

You are going to have to let her go in the end as she doesn't want to talk to you anymore. Did you take my suggestion above and give her time? Then ask her if she will tell you what it is that you said to her that made her mad? You aren't really giving us any feedback here anymore.

 

I am giving her time.

She texted me yesterday. I sent one back, but t has yet to be recived by her.

 

Yes... It doesn't help and I know it now... It was really stupid of me and I never want to do it again!

 

How bout your dad? could he help you? or then, you need to see a psychiatrist or a counceller to sort out your problems.

 

Well I'm a little confused on my problem, Well I wanted to ask a girl out right? Yet I dont know what to exaclty say and when to say it...So what are some really good lines or ways to ask her out (note I am only in 8th grade)

I do not care if I have to lie a little because I really want to be with her, before I won't have another chance

Extra Info that may help:
I ride the bus with her
Sit next to her in 1 of my classes
I already have her number

 

Ok she got nasty. Shes not my friend.

...geez that was painfuly easy. Its almost scary.

Lets just hope my next friends isnt a bish.

 

Looks like your in the same boat as I am.
Whatever you do don't lie to her. Women hate that, you know, unless you want to lie and say she got great eyes or something.

What I did was I pulled aside a girl and just said 'Would you like to go to the movies with me?'
Don't say it in a hallway though, where other people may talk to you or her. Don't use pickup lines. The only good pickup line, according to my sister, is 'If I bit my lip, would you kiss it to make better?'
I don't think that will work.