Help with Life

Girl Problems

Okay here's my problem.

Never had a girlfriend. I'm that kinda funny wierd kinda guy. There is a girl I want 2 go out with. Gave my friends a rose to give 2 her on V day, 'cause I'm shy and inexpeirienced. She didn't know it was from me, but my friend Conley yelled it was from me. D***it. Friends tried to pull me to her, makin' me look like an idiot.
I didn't go talk to her, she hasn't talked to me.

2 weeks ago there was a school carnival. My older sister and lil' bro went with me. They found out who that girl is, grabbed me and tried to get me to come to her, or get her to come to me. They even got my friends. They didn't make it, and I got away. My lil' bro may have talked to her. Just HORRIBLE!!!! **** **** **** *** * * ******** ******.(censored for godknowswhy).

Besides going to her, Is there anything I can do than goin' to her or her friends?

 

umm my friend decided to talk to me today. And stated that she hated me.

That brings my friend coun to 0.

I have no friends at school, and no one at school wants to talk to me. What should I do?

 

If you like this girl as a potential gf or friend, the only way to really have a relationship is to go over and ask to talk to her and be social with her. It's the same way as making a friend really. You can't do that if you don't talk to her and get to know her.

However, these other people, you may want to ask them to let you have some time to gather your wits and tell them that you want to walk over to her when you are ready to. Then perhaps if you spot her and your friends aren't all around, go over and introduce yourself to her and say that you want to get to know her. Girls aren't going to be so interested in a guy that isn't even willing to walk over to her and talk etc, so stick up that chin and go try to get to know her. As I said, might want to do it when less of your friends are around or tell them to go on so that you can do this without a lot of distraction so you won't feel so embarrassed. They are only trying to help but it's obviously making you feel more shy. Don't say it though in a way to upset them. Just let them know this is something you want to try to get up the guts to do on your own so she knows you mean things and aren't just being silly.

Oh, jeez, Ampex. I'm sorry to hear that. Did she tell you why she hates you? Please don't despair. She's one person and you -can- find more if you try. Can you tell us how you approach people at school? For example, what do you say to someone when you go over to the person? Where are you talking to the person etc. Maybe we can help give you guidelines in this way so that you have more of a chance at school to find someone who will be a good friend.

Lauren right now obviously is not a person you should bother with at the moment if she's going to actually say she 'hates' you. Are you sure she actually said she hates you? If so, I'd just back off a person that used that kind of harshness altogether. You will make new friends. We can try to get you going in the right direction. Just let this person go though for now because she's not a good friend for you. Sorry you are going through so much but keep with it. You can at least know you have some people here that are concerned and are much more friendly.

 

Thanks, but I probably won't get the guts to talk to her until a little later in the year. I've found out she lives by me, so everyday after school that I don't have Homework, I'm gonna spend skateboarding around my neighborhood to see if I can't talk to her without my friends or her friends. It's gonna be tough, though, because my math Teacher always gives me homework. And there are VERY rare times I get a break from it.

 

Well, good luck with it and when you feel ready do the move. I can see why your friends are poking at you because it seems they know you are very shy and they are just trying to help you out. As I said though, when you decide on things in yourself, it's probably best they aren't so around so they don't make you feel more humiliated as you are going to be having to talk to her AND deal with their interference otherwise. I hope things work out for you!

 

I know exactly how that is.


Try to find out why she hates you...

And if the reason is just something stupid then she isn't worth hanging around. Try to find someone else to talk to. Like there's always some quiet kid sitting in the corner alone. If she/he seems like someone nice then just say hi and tell them your name. They might not talk much back at first but you can keep trying until you two find something to talk about.

Clubs are great as well.

I haven't had a friend in years but as soon as I joined my club, everyone was so nice and I talk to two people whenever I see them, I even burrowed manga from one of them... But I talk to the other more. It does take time so don't give up. That is a bad idea, trust me. Having friends will make life better, even school.​

 

Yeah she talked to me again today.

I am sad to say shes become popular.

While this usualy isnt bad, shes part of the complete ***** division.

On top of that I developed feelings for her somehow.

Although, I had a pleasent conversation with Lauren's cousin.
help me and my disturbed mind.

Hey there is a new curse filter.

 

I have a very close friend who could very possibly die by the time he is 17 due to medical issues, and im just wondering if theres anything i could say to him to make him feel better?

 

This is sad to hear and I hope that this won't come to pass. What iwanttoexplode said though about it pretty much covers it. If he's down, if you feel the desire to be there for him as a good friend, let him know that you will be there and if he wants to talk etc, it's cool. Also let him know that you two can still hang out and go do things and have some fun and you aren't going to bring this stuff up to him unless he does first so that it's not always on your mind or his. He needs to live life and get some good memories instead of well, feeling like he has to lurk and wait for the inevitable.

Also, make sure that you don't go telling others about his condition if you can help it because as mentioned, this will single him out and people may bother him getting all caught up in 'drama' they make and he may withdraw from others because he doesn't want this special attention. He's probably going to be down now and then but if he can still have some joy in life with good friends who are focused on hanging out with each other and him and not worrying about what may take his life away, the happier he may turn out to be. He needs some activity and things to do but probably won't always want to be reminded of what he's going through. Basically in the end, don't crowd him too much and worry a lot, but do let him know you are there and still a friend and that won't change through this all. Hope this helped.

Well, sometimes people change sadly. She will learn that popularity contests in school don't really amount to much in the really real world, but if she's going to be that way, the best thing to do really is to just let her go do her thing.

You are kind of co-dependent it sounds like. Whatever feelings you have for her, you should let them go and let her live her life. Her saying she 'hates' you is definitely trying to give you a clue to back off of her. I'm not sure how to help with this but to tell you that these feelings are not going to align with hers so it's best to try to work them out of your system.

I think if you try to talk to others it would help you put her behind you and well, get you some people physically you can talk with.

Serious question here: I am curious to know, which you don't have to answer if you don't wish to, but have you ever seen a psychiatrist and been diagnosed with any kind of mental condition or disorder? Some of your responses here concerning shyness, communication problems and such remind me of how a couple of my friends are who have Asperger's Syndrome. I'm not trying to diagnose you here of course, but instead asking if you ever were diagnosed with anything before.

I really do want to try to help you out here with getting some new friends but it seems it is a very hard thing for you to do. Maybe if you try what RA said about going up to another quiet kid who doesn't look too engrossed in what he/she is doing, maybe it would be easier for you.

 

Well, seems things may take a turn for the better for me today. I found out she isn't dating anyone, so today I'm gonna invite her to 7 eleven for some hot choco.
I have like $8, and I'm gonna tell my friends to stay outta my way.

Ecspecially since the day I posted here, they went and told her I like her. I think she said she'd go out with me if they got her a slushie so that they'd leave her alone. D*** this weather, if it was sunny, I'd turn it into a joke and buy her a slurpie.

Wish me luck, and pray for me before I die of embaressment.):,

 

Actualy, I do have asbergurs syndrome.

 

Ah, damn I'm good. I didn't want to offend you, but I have friends with it I've known for years and it is very hard for them to keep friends or meet knew people. Also, the way you said some things here that were at times taken as harsh but then retracted were kind of telling signs too. Is this why that boy two years ago spread around that you were '******ed'?

Maybe now we can come to some ideas on what to do as we have a direction now and I understand more what is some of the problem. Did you try talking to anyone this week in school? Since it's Friday now, perhaps over the weekend we can try to come up with some strategies.

 

Well the easiest way to loose a reputation as a ****** is to get better results than others. It is a tad difficult to insult someone if they can just turn around and say "If I'm a 'tard, what does that make you?" right?

I recommend getting an interest. If there are clubs at school, take up something like that. Generally it is the more "Nerdy" ones that are more accepting.

If you sit next to someone in your classes, you could try to get to know them. Just borrowing a pencil or lending a compass can spark a friendship. That lending could turn into an exchange of notes if one of you is away.

 

OMFG!!!!!!!!

I went to school yesterday. Told all my friends I was gonna ask her out. I tried to until before the last class. She had a meeting.

I caught her right after school in the hallway. All my friends said that it was a bad iidea to take her to 7 eleven. They all thought that I would get a no. So I asked her if she wanted to go to the movies with me. She smiled (good sign?) and said sh'e think about it. Guess what my friends said after that? Ryan said, "You're one lucky son of a b****." Kelly said, "You got a maybe!!!!!" I am so happy.

I AM STILL ALIVE!!!!!!

 

I accidently offended my friend. Im not sure how. She said she never wants to talk to me again.

 

You know what's bothering me about this whole thing?

You won't even talk to your family about this, yet you seek people on the internet to help you. Why don't you ask dad or me to get help? It's really offending that you would rather ask people on the internet then your family.

What I am trying to tell you is to give her some space. When you don't go on AIM for a day, you start asking if you should text her to see if she will reply.

That's not giving space. I'd say give her a week or two without you constantly texting her or AIMing her.​

 

There is something called depression syndromes and wondered if it was true because if it is, then I've got a serious problem.

 

May you give me some details, please?

I want to help.​

 

It's kind of funny because someone with Asperger's is the opposite of ******ed in a way. The definition of ******ation is to hold something back so you could say a fish tank ******s water for example. But in the case of Asperger's your mind does not instinctively pick up on the social cues and norms and are thus not bound by them.

One of the interesting things about this low level of autism is that you are given more of a choice. You can dive into side of knowledge and become a savant, you could dive into the social side and become 'normal,' or you could walk in between and engage with people even though it’s weird.

I recommend reading Look Me in the Eye by John Elder Robison. It’s a good read and very informative on life with Asperger’s.


As for Lauren it's hard to say what to do. My best advice is to stay in touch but "keep it at arm's length." The thing is that anyone can be offended by anything if the want to. Like wise people can take insults without even being phased if they want to. If you remain in touch then you can build if it all blows over. But some people are more stubborn and will never really like you so sometimes what you need to do is just let her go and move on.