Help with Life

Alright. Good luck then.

 

What I would suggest you do is this. Find out your height and weight. Then, you should check your weight and height with how much is recommended for someone your age. If you are under that by more than 5 lbs, you have a serious problem and are not seeing yourself in the right way. All people have to have some body fat to them. Girls will have usually more than boys unless they are very active and athletic, in which muscle takes the place of it.

Also, I'd recommend you get yourself some help. If you are having trouble with throwing up and such, this is not good for you and you can lose electrolytes to your body and brain. This has put more than a few people into comas. Please consider getting yourself the help you need and a good way seriously to know if you are under weight is to use the standard weight/height chart. I am worried about you and hope you will be alright. If your friends are saying you are too small, they are probably right. Most anorexic or bulimic people do not recognize how thin they really may be and some are so bony you wonder how they are even alive. Anyone hates to be told their perceptions may be wrong, but with these two conditions, it really is part of the symptoms.

I would say that it sounds like someone has set you up for failure and it seems to have made you isolated. You can change this though by going out and trying to be social, getting to be reacquainted with those old friends but also if this is hard, maybe try making some new friends. Some kids can be jerks but don't let that beat you. Maybe if you have some hobby or sport you like, try joining a club or sport activity which will get you to meet new people. Meeting some new people may help alleviate your worries about facing some of the other older friends you've had and also inspire you to talk more to these people and mend fences. I hope things get easier for you. I'm not sure what this person could have said but it must have been pretty bad for friends to push you to the side like this. Some friends may simply be confused.

It seems like you and your family are doing the right things here and this guy absolutely must be stopped from being such a jerk. It sounds like the cops think he's just a complainer and haven't done much against your family for the dogs so this is good and works in your favor. I hope the petition goes well and if others will sign it, you definitely do have a case to take to court and can say it is harmful to the animals and unjust. Some neighbors are just this way and I recall living next to a person who was mad at a puppy I had and accused it of 'biting his daughter' who ran across our yard and the puppy just nipped her playfully as is normal. I went through so much for that and my parents gave the puppy away to avoid law trouble. In your case, the cops are more on your side and I hope you win the victory against this putz who won't mind his own business. Good luck to you and your family!

 

So, lately I just don't know what to do. There's so much crap going on right now and it's just not a healthy environment. My parents are getting a divorce because, basically, she ran off with some manwhore. & everytime I try to do something with her, she makes up a phony excuse about how she has to work or something. But whenever my sister or little brother want to do something with her, she's over here in five minutes. It makes me feel worthless. She even told me that she was divorcing my dad on my birthday. And when I said "that's exactly what I want to hear on my birthday" she replied with, "it's your birthday?". Yeah. :/ & everyday, my dad asks me the same question: has your mom been by here today? & the answer is ALWAYS no. & then he yells at me for an hour about how I should just call her. This happens everyday. & I've had a cutting problem since I was twelve (that's a story for another day). I haven't started cutting myself yet, but I've been scratching my arm a lot. I just really need help with all of this. What should I do...? :/

 

Theres only one thing you can do if your mother is that ignorant and cruel to you and your dad is desperate and takes it out on you.Go live with a friend or your favourite relative.They obviously don't show that they care so go live with someone who does care Like your best friend,aunt,uncle,etc.

 

There are other avenues to use than cutting yourself to relieve mental anguish. You certainly are going through a very stressful situation but this is not your fault. This is hers. She ran off with another guy and basically abandoned your father and you kids. One avenue you can try is to get yourself out and do some sport or activity, join a club or something at school where you get to hang around other people and well, get a breather from home life. Perhaps take up some hobby or artistic expression to help relieve stress. If you think about cutting yourself, to get the endorphins running instead, try doing some jumping jacks or taking a good run at a solid speed. These options are more healthy for you and benefit you in some way instead of doing harm to yourself and well...scarring yourself so that you look back and have to be constantly reminded of it. Please, I implore you, consider these options and I hope you find something better to do as a stress reliever.

Also, don't hate yourself through this. This divorce comes from her having issues with your dad and well, her inability to take responsibility and do the right thing. This is not your fault. If you can care about yourself and hold your head up, you won't be so tempted to hurt yourself even if you are in some serious anguish about now.

I am not sure exactly of all the details but it seems you live with your father while your mom is doing her thing. She seems to be disassociating herself from the family to well, not remember things like her kid's birthday. I almost feel like maybe she relates you more to being of your dad's side and holds this thing against him so you may be getting backlash while your siblings are not. However, she -is- the one who is at blame here and well, she and your dad obviously failed at things including communication with one another. In other words, your mom is being very freaking immature right now and not thinking straight and someday she may come to regret this all and how she's distancing you, but for right now, she's just not caring about it because she's wrapped up in herself and her wants. Until she comes out of this stage, you may just have to kind of write her off and try to stop thinking about her so much. I know that's very hard, but if she is going to show you she doesn't care and put you off, you may have to learn to distance yourself from her so you can stop hurting so badly. She's being a very immature person right now and parents are well...human too and we all at times can do some incredibly dumb things.

You have a life to lead whether she wants to be there or not. You do have value as a person and what she is doing is stupid. This may be a time in your life where you must learn to be more independent and well, seek out things in life for yourself as in activities and such and learn to take care of yourself more. You may have it hard for a while but later on in life it will make you stronger and well, you will -definitely- learn what to not do as a parent. That is one thing I could take away from being raised by my mom...it taught me everything to NOT do when in the future I have kids of my own. You have some company here if you can get none elsewhere to vent and make it through this so please hang in there. As for your dad, if he gets to yelling at you, I'd probably just say to him 'She doesn't seem to care about me like she does the other two so why not tell them to call her because I'm stuck and it's not getting better until she shows she cares anymore." Something along those lines any way. He's going to have to hear and learn that you are not being dealt with in this matter at all and you are probably not the one he should be yelling at. Hell, if he wants to talk to her so bad, he should be doing it but if she's avoiding him and just comes over for the two other kids, well, she's probably not wanting to deal with him. Maybe she might even feel that he's using you to get you to call her so that she will come over and he can talk to her. Divorces are weird things and well, people who are married or in a relationship that is falling apart can do some incredibly weird things they wouldn't think of otherwise.

Please though hang in there and if you want to talk more and keep us updated, we'll try to be here for you. No cutting! Or -else-...something. You have friends here so don't give up on yourself. You are a good person and this is between your mom and dad and she did a very foolish thing and isn't thinking on how it affects you. She's in a selfish stage, as I mentioned before and the issues she has most likely have to do with something you may never quite learn that was a problem with her and your father. Stay well and I'm sorry you have to go through this.

 

Thanks, Repliku.

You gave some good advice, but unfortunately I can't use most of it. I suppose I should've mentioned that I'm home-schooled, so I can't get involved in any sport or anything because my town doesn't have any social places besides the schools and the community center, which doesn't even offer anything, so I don't even know why we have one. & on top of that I have severe social anxiety, so I'm not good with meeting new people. However, I do write songs and sing, does that count?

& honestly, since I turned thirteen (currently fifteen) I stopped caring about myself because I've always been treated like trash my entire life. My dad is even going as far to not buy me school books so I can get caught up this year, so I've been studying online... kind of. As much as I can anyway.

& since the only family member I have is in Oregon, I was thinking about using the money I saved up as a Graphic Designer to go stay with him for awhile. I dunno. I just really wanna get away from here before I try to kill myself again, since I know that suicidal thoughts are on their way.

 

Yeah, your situation does kind of leave you trapped. At this point with what you have going on, I think perhaps moving with the relative you have, if he'd permit it, would be a good move for you since if your home schooling is going so slow, you may be able to get more help. Your education is important and this is really setting you back.

Believe me, I understand how it is to be talked down to and treated like trash. I too at 13 really hated my life and those around me who were making me rather miserable. But seriously here, you are 15 and please don't be hating yourself. If you can get yourself out of there, you might feel a lot better. Having social anxiety is intimidating but you can get help for that too. Maybe part of the reason you have it is that you are home schooled and so not able to hang out with others enough, plus having the turbulent things going on at home certainly doesn't help with anyone's state of mind.

Definitely, the singing and writing songs may be an excellent way to vent and also produce something creative. You also say you are a graphics designer, so that's a great outlet too. Doing these things will let you hopefully see how creative you are. You seem more into these arts and well, many artists do have troubles expressing themselves at times in front of other people. There's nothing wrong with that though. We are all wired differently and that's what makes us cool. You are gifted so don't throw that stuff away and maybe it will take you places if you keep at it. I hope things get better for you. Just realize one thing here though. You make yourself be who and what you want to be and don't let these people's words to you bring you down. They aren't knowing the real you because they are being rather selfish and self-absorbed. I think you may be onto something when you say you would wish to move. Sometimes that is the best option, and in your case, with all that is happening, it just may be that. Hang in there!

 

um i have a problem you see my very best friend lies alot like once he said he could play guitar and couldn't well i started a band a few days ago and invited him to join he said he can play drums..... i dont know weather to belive him or not any tips?

 

Old habits die hard. Believe him for now, but have a backup plan in case he can't play drums.

 

As Misty said, believe him for now. He might surprise you.

...and if he doesn't, just find someone else. If he doesnt make the cut, then don't play favourites.

 

things have gotten worse. i got in a huge fight about an hour ago, and i'm still crying now. i cut myself again too. i can't move in with my brother because my dad won't allow. if i try he'll call the cops.

i don't even know who the hell i am anymore. i just wanna kill myself and get it over with. i was told i wouldn't be missed and i believe it. i lost touch with the few people that meant the most to me in the world and i'm alone again. i don't have a reason to live. i don't know what to do. i just wanna end everything because i know i'm a scum of the earth living without a cause.

 

hey dont say that

even though things might look hard now.

things will come to pass.

hey, hey, dont cut yourself.

just try and relax, stay alone in your room (if you can)

get some rest, take a nice shower....and dont let anything stop you from being who you are.

you know, killing yourself isnt a solution.

its only a grave mistake, stop, think things through, once youre relaxed , and slowly reorganize your thoughts.

 

Im in some deep sh!t

Ok, another problem I've had for a while...
Honestly, I dont expect anyone to have any information in this field-Ballet.But, nevertheless. Its not really the Ballet.

Yesterday, I nearly snapped my ankle. Apparently i wasn't balancing right on my pointe shoes. there were a half a dozen teachers in the room who didn't bother to tell me! Anyway, we were going to the next room, and my friend seemed kinda nervous. I asked her why and she said that had I gone up one more time the way i did on pointe, I would've snapped my ankle.

I asked her why no one told me and she said "no offence but, no one likes a terrorist." WTF?! i'll admit I look like a terrorist, and i got huge muscles due to my swimming days. They're not allowed to do that! one of my other friends told me they want to kill all terrorists. Thats why they wanted me to snap my ankle. I didn't believe her. Who would?

Anyway, they're all racist b*tches but theres nothing I can do about it. Any Ideas?

 

Would this cop calling be a bad thing? Move in with your brother, then if your father calls the cops, just explain what is going on. At the least you will be put in touch with child welfare officers.

Besides, consider this. If you are planning on suicide, then what consequences do you have to fear? None. Therefore you should try every possible alternative. Heck, running away would be better. If you have nothing to loose, you can only go up, so you should make every effort to change your situation. If you have stuff to lose, suicide is not the answer, so you should still try to solve your problems.

 

Well I want you to realize that if you are considering going back to cutting yourself that your dad's threat for one thing is empty. He can call the cops but you can also report him too for child abuse and neglect. The street works two ways here and you've got to learn to feel better about yourself. If he is mistreating you, he is. You should definitely stop thinking about 'ending it all' the way you are. You are absolutely not scum of the earth but you may have to learn to stand up more for yourself. If you are this desperate to ponder suicide think of some other solution that is also hard which is instead of suicide perhaps try calling a suicide hot line and asking for advice and what you can do and where you can go to get out from the situation you are in. They may have a safe house you can go to in order to get away from your father if this stuff is so bad. PLEASE do not feel so down on yourself. Those are the family words you hear in your head that they have made you believe. You are better than this and have every right to live and are not horrible in any way. Please do yourself a favor and call the suicide hot line if you feel you would cut yourself or want to end things. I seriously here implore you. If you can't find that number call the cops and ask what the number is. You are not alone though you feel it. Someone there -can- help you but you've got to fight now. Your dad is very wrong about you. So is your mom. Don't you be wrong about you too, okay?

 

True. Everything true. By the way, I'm Greek. I just look lebbo

 

What the fu--hell? when did this happen? Why didn't you tell me MUDDA F*KKA?! Man, you've been emo-ing since u started ballet. Why don't u stop. DONT ANSWER THAT! Its 1 of the necessary things 4 dancing. Bullsh!t.

Newayz, ur teachers r ******s, the girls at dancing r ozzie, whaddya xpect? and they don make sense either. Forget 'bout them man!

 

Well if you really want to know if that's their true opinion, just go into class wearing a big puffy jacket and put on a serious face. If anyone tackles you or calls the police, you know you have a problem. If you only get strange looks, I would say you should look deeper into your friend's character.