Help with Life

Take control of your life. Seriously. It sounds like you are being helpless in a time that you have complete control over.

Osteosarcoma. That sucks, but it's actually not terrible. It sucks whenever someone needlessly gets sick, but he's also very lucky. There is a very high survival rate for treatment on osteosarcoma. Something in the high 90's, percent wise. If he is treated right and on-time, he will be fine. Don't you worry.

Sleeping with someone you have no desire or intention to do so with is one of the dumbest things you can ever do. You'll never get that back, it won't be special, and you'll regret it for the -rest- of your life. Just don't do it. It's really that simple. Stay away from him if you need to.

Your friends need advice? Sure, give it to them. You've never been in the situation, so I'm guessing they don't expect you to know all the answers and tell them anything they don't already know. Just be a friend, tell them what you think they want to hear. Anything to help them get through it. No need to be nervous or scared. It's not you who is in the situation they are.

What are you regretting? You haven't done anything wrong. You -almost- slept with him, but you didn't. That's good, you did the right thing.

As for the exams, if you're nervous and scared about them, that's no one's fault but your own. Either you are unprepared and you know it, or you just have anxiety. Study study study. Even if you don't want to, you really should. No matter what, even studying for an hour will help so much more than sitting around wasting your time and worrying. It's really all up to you.

Just try to be the one making the decisions in your life. Everything will work out sooner or later. You just need to be expecting it.

 

Thank you for the wonderful advice, I will try my best to do all of these things!! ^-^ You've made a part of my day.

 

No problem. :]

If you need anything else or just want to talk, you can add me on MSN.

 

um... no, it's because I got the stomach flu ._. We've had a few people in my house with a small bug and apparantly, It was my turn to catch it. >> As I said before, I'm not really all that stressed anymore ^^

@Xendran: omg I never expected anything like that to happen at such a young age... O_o Anyways, it'd probably be best if you talk to your school's guidance counselor (I know for a FACT that they have 'em in middle school...) about what's been going on. It isn't healthy to be drinking that much, and you should stop as soon as possible. Try throwing away what you have. Have someone to help you so that you don't back out. Make them force you to throw it away, and then see how much better you'll feel afterwards. And don't think of it as wasting something that can still be used... Think of it as saving peoples' lives.^^ As for cutting yourself, try your best to stay away from sharp objects. If you're near one or are holding one, just PUT IT DOWN. Cutting yourself isn't going to help anything. Also, try your best not to abandon your girlfriend. When a girl is pregnant at such a young age, it's hard for them to raise a child by themselves, and they need someone by their side who can help them raise the child. But if you end up having to abandon her, still try and do what you can to make everything easier for her... And please, please, PLEASE do NOT kill yourself... That's never the awnser. If you kill yourself, she start having suicidal thoughts and she;ll end up killing herself, too. This is about the best advice I can give. I wish you good luck...

 

Hmmmm...... Just why did you sleep with a guy you had a grudge against? :/ ?

 

She didn't. She almost did.

 

Oh. Well that was a close call. Anyways she should tell her friends to stop going to school once pregnancy starts showing. She should also have faith into her brother to stay alive. THis is what I would do so she should try also.

 

times of our lives

Xendran: this is one heck of a serious problem, lets see , if we look at the core of the problem lets divide it into sections

1.your stressed= the guilt and depression are giving you problems

2.no support=right now there is no one at your side ,conforting you , and your former friend isnt helping.

3.you have depression= depression is really bad (duh) and is giving you much more stress

now, lets say we find a way to get rid of your stress , you woulnt be so anxious to cut yourself or drink.

we need to eliminate the worse problem , and in chain reaction the others will get solved

it wont be easy , do people from school know your girlfriend is pregnant???


ipeck: why would you sleep , with someone you wont like? i mean if im gonna do something wrong , i might as well enjoy it. but you did the right thing not doing it.

Xephos: have you made some new friends???

 

Ummm yes? Why?

 

She will DIE if she gives birth to the baby.

 

THat's is what I mean. She has to endure it the first and then the second won't hurt much and so on. You must be by her side at all cost to keep her alive.

 

Wait what? i dont understand what you mean

 

Oh wait that was a figure of speech before wasn't it?

 

Xendran, seriously, don't listen to any of these people. If she needs to get the abortion, go for it. You're way too young to deal with that.

 

Xendran I really do think that your girlfriend should get the abortion.Her body hasn't really developed enough to be able to have a child.She is too young.And since she is 13,there could be a high possibility that she will die during child birth.I'm not trying to bring you down or anything.So I have to agree with *Sora*.

 

Tell me, how does abortion work?

 

I read past this to find out you are 14 and are in 8th grade. Do the parents know that she is pregnant? I am sorry you are going through so much and this is very upsetting to go through. I can see why you are depressed.

Right now though, drinking is -not- a solution and please don't cut yourself. These are things you are becoming dependent on to try to escape the pain but in the end the alcohol itself is a depressant and after you are done and with a hangover you will just feel more miserable to contemplate things like cutting etc. Do your parents and hers know of the situation? Try to remember that this is traumatic for you AND your girlfriend and she is going to need help too. You two both need to try if you can to stick together and be strong in the face of this adversity. These side things of alcohol and all are in the way of you and her recovering. I'd suggest that you try to dump the alcohol habit if you can and if you cannot, you need to get some help to do so because it will only cloud your judgment and make you do something horrible that you and she will regret.

This is a very turbulent time and I am not sure if your parents are there for you but I think you really need to sit and talk with them and possibly if it is this unbearable, you need some help from a counselor of some sort and probably best if it is out of school. Remember that you alone are not going through this. Your girlfriend is too. Is she okay? Can you still talk to her?

As for your 'friend', he's really showing he's not a good friend at all. He's causing you to feel more miserable and I'd suggest not even considering him a friend anymore. This is your experience and any REAL friend would be upset and standing by you to help you make good decisions instead of making you feel like crap so you regret things even more. Don't touch him. PLEASE don't take violent action against him, but try to move around him and consider that he's violated your trust and that friends like that are just rotten acquaintances that don't merit anything from you at all. I know he's irritating but you've got to now think of you and your girlfriend and this situation instead of idiots that want to cause more rain to fall around the situation. He's just not important enough for you to end up in a D-home over. This is about you and not him. It's -your- future. Don't let some loudmouth ruin it for you, even if right now the situation seems grim.

I am curious to know how your family and hers are taking it and if you and she can converse with them. You, she and your families matter much more than people at school that just like to bring up drama. As I said, if you feel this stuff is too much to take, we all have our breaking points and this is a sign you need some help so you aren't carrying this load yourself. This girl also has to be going through a lot of trauma and she also may need some assistance by professional help. There are some other solutions I could try to give to you but feel that I would first need to understand where your family and hers sit in this situation before I do because if they aren't involved then the solutions may be more dire. Also, how many months pregnant is she? Please hang in there and keep with us. Unlike that 'friend' at school, we care and want you to be alright. It's a bad situation but please don't make it worse.

Also, there are people here who will say she shouldn't get an abortion. It is -not- their decision. It is yours and your girlfriend's choice and you need some communication with the family. Do not make a choice based off us and our 'personal' views of abortion. If you both feel it is the right thing to do, it is YOUR circumstance; not ours.

I'm sorry to hear your brother was admitted to the hospital. I can see why with all the stress and people bugging you, why you might have wanted to sleep with this guy, but at the same time, I am glad wisdom won out and you did not. With the situation at hand of your brother falling ill, perhaps you could try talking to the school counselor and explaining it is very hard to study and all under such circumstances and maybe he/she can give you some advice on what to do to make it easier. Also, tell your parents that you are struggling so they know ahead of time and things can be worked out.

If you are stressed by others going to you, perhaps it is also time you went to others for some help with your problems. You seem to be considered a pillar of strength to some of these others and even pillars can crack. Perhaps when they come to you for assistance you can also share some of your feelings with them about your concerns and all. This is a scary thing to face but you don't alone have to be the support that holds things together. They need to see you also are nervous and anxious over it and that -together- with each other's pains accounted for, you guys can stick it out and weather it, but alone, let them know...it is hurting you bad too.

 

Well I've been having some trouble some friends of mine The first one: to avoid giving out names let's just call her K. Now K is a ultra conserative and a ultra christian. She's been raised under her mother and grandmother's thumb for her whole life and I can see why as to her been a ultra christian and conserative being that her family is one. K in a way to me is not open-minded at all. K doesn't support anything that is different from her own beliefs and the thing is when somebody like myself talks about something that doesn't agree with her, K will instantely go off on me and yell and try to force her beliefs on everyone. A example would be when I went to see The Golden Compass with a few friends. The next day all I said was 'I saw the Golden Compass last night.' and she loses it. She goes on by saying that the movie and book is 'evil' its 'wrong' and that it's not 'good for moral standers'. I say that its just a movie and a book and that she should read it and to not judge it before reading the book and wacthing the movie. But K still thinks it's wrong.

Another example would be of course me. I told her that I was a bisexual and she said that she tolerates it. It's not the thing I want to her but it's close enough to tolerate it than hate it. And she knows about my girlfriend. But I let it slip on accident that my girlfriend was a atheist and K said that my girlfriend should be converted. I was a bit ticked and said that you can't change people and she saids that I'm glad that I have a religion (but I think K knows that I'm a atheist too).

And now for the last example. Another friend of mine (will call her C) does not get along with K sometimes. It's all because C has have sex with men and goes out with a lot of people, and has the very dangerous lifestyle. But I tend to ignore C and let her talk when her dangerous lifestyle and her talking get out of hand. Now C usually comes over to my lunchtable (with K and another friend J) to talk to me and only me. But K and J have such a strong dislike for her that they both start to mouth off to C. They call C a 'whore', '****', 'the devil' and othe vulgar words to describe a person in a negative way. Then C starts to defend herself and they get into a fight. I hate this which is way I defend C, to my belief just because she has a dangerous lifestyle that doesn't mean that she is not a good person.

J is very annoying on my part. He tries to make me not do my homework because he wants to talk to me about something 'important' (which is about video games and stuff that I don't care about.). He tries to poke me and tickle me when I'm trying to work and he says something in a serious tone (whether it be me, about my girlfriend or both of us) and then say he's kidding. And he tries to make things funny like a movie when I'm trying to watch it.

I'm about to reach my breaking point with these people.

 

ouch. I know several friends of mine like yours. I would first break up teh fight and not join either sides. Second, K is an ultra but tell her not all christians have to be perfect for god. For C...... tell her just to live her lifestyle and also tell K to stop calling people names becuase that's a sin. Tell J to stop or you'll hate him. DO those and I'm christian so K should understand. Also tell her the movies are not real so don't take it seriously.

 

Yeah, shes getting an abortion. and i DONT consider him a friend anymore. Thanks for the support. Ilil try to dump the drinking