Help with Life

hmmm.... a month? well have you told him this?? i think the 2 of you haven't been able to pass the nervous awkwardness stage yet.... thats y u 2 aren't getting close. so i think you two sud hang out more often... like alot maybe... that way it'll help... and it can also help to talk to him abt how ur feel... a good relationship always starts w/ communication. so if you think you're up to it go tell him abt the awkwardness... and if u 2 really like eachother, then both of you are gonna have to solve this problem together. otehrwise, if you're still not feeling it.. then the chances are, its not gonna work out... i've seen this happening w/ one of my friends. so hang w/ him more.. so yes.. go to the pary. and chill w/ him.. go out during the weekends even more!! >_< just spend a lot of time together and break the remaining ice between the 2 of ya!! good luck!!




my issue currently.... <_<
I met this one chick thing in 9th grade... we became pretty good friends in that yr and in 10th grade we were like unseparable.... she's such an awesome person... its the friend that everyone wants.... well this yr however (my JR yr)... she's like completely ignoring me. i try not to get bugged by that... but the problem is that it's really hard for me to make really close friends.. or just friends in general... i don't open up to ppl as easily. so she assured me last yr that we'll be unseperable unitl like forever... (not that i actually believed that, but i guess a part of me did....) well this yr she'd found some other chick and has become unseperable friends w/ her and forgot all abt me. i try and try to not let it bug me... but it just really hurts me when i see them together. and a part of wants to hit that other girl (eventhough she is a very nice girl) and i have NOTHING against her... to make matters worse... this seems to be the "IGNORE ANWITA YEAR" everyone's ignothing me... my enitire friggin JR class.... wtf is that abt...

 

i do that kinda but it doesn't always work especially considering i hardly see her >.>

 

I know what your going to through.My best friend went through that too(and I think she still is)Obviously she isn't your friend if she ignores you.My best friend went through that all of 9th grade and a little bit of 10th.It was at a point I couldn't stand it anymore I told her "Stop being her friend!If she's treating you this way, why do you call her your friend?"Before you know it she'll end up treating you the same way that girl treated my best friend.My advice is to not call her friend just call her as somebody you know and thats it.If she starts kissing up to you tell her to go to hell.If starts saying"Oh why haven't you talked to me?Why are you ignoring me?We don't hang out like we used to."She is just using you.

 

Yeah... but I don't know if I can talk to him about how I feel... I'd rather talk to him about it alone, but everybody always stares at us at school if we get anywhere near each other (Nobody at school ever expected me to ever have a boyfriend... so we're like, the hot new couple or something... -_-) and my parents don't like having guys at my house... And I'd probably end up being too nervous around him if we did get alone, anyways... Today's his birthday, and I tried to hang out with him as much as possible, but it felt awkward again... I'll try going to his party and see how it goes... And then we're both going to space camp for a week starting this saturday, so I'm hoping that will help us get closer together... But the problem is me getting nervous... <_>

 

well love... i wouldn't want you to talk to him in a public place either, so find an appropriate time and place... (is this ur 1st time dating??) if it is.. .then its probably why u arent able to pass the stage of nervousness... and well y not try to look at this nervousness in a positive way... like you get so nervous cuz of the fact that he's just so awesome.. lol... and don't let ur friends bug you... <_< so what if ur the new hot couple... the more you ignore those talks, the more normal the situation will start to become. and if they stare when the 2 of u are together.. then move to a more quiet place... <_< again.. .dont let em bug ya. its ur choice, not thiers.
and yes go to his party and chill w/ him. the more you 2 hang, the nervousness will disappear... and i think this camp thing will definately bring the 2 of ya together... lol ^_^

 

I've been gone form KH-vids for about a month beacuse of famly problems. Now I've been cutting my left arm, writeing "I'm Nothing" on the walls, and been writing suisidal notes. The worst part of it is that my mom is PREGENT!!!! I can't seem to deal with this any more and I need help! I would get a theripist but I don't have the heart to tell my parents about what I've been doing to my self. And I would tell my counseler but she brings the princeable every time. Hurry and please respone soon!!!!!!!!!!

 

First all stop causing yourself pain. By cutting your arm it doesn't help. I went through the same problems with my mom getting pregnant, but it didn't really change my life. The new baby can help you...she'll bring you a lot of happiness. Then writing suicidal notes you could share your feelings in a notebook and share it with one of your closest friends. Second...you are a SOMETHING everyone has something to do in life. Even if you don't think you are needed you are. You have a part in life...like loving someone else. Just calm down and relax.

 

er.. dude.. ya.. chill.. i went through this mode.. just 2 yrs back... it exactly wasnt so pleasent.... <_<
well try and stop cutting yourself... that doesnt solve anyting... trust me.. it'll only leave you scars that will later remind you of you stupidity of the past... trust me... i got a BIG one on my leg.. <_<
and as of the letters and stuff... i wont tell ya to stop.. keep writing.. even if you don't tell someone... writing will release some of the stress, pain and sadness that you are feeling. it will help... and it'd be even better if you share that w/ someone... or you can always talk abt it here... and be anonymous abt it... ppl will listen when you talk...
as for the new baby... don't worry much. chances are it WILL bring you joy.. but it WILL bring sadness and sorrow if YOU want it to. you're mind and heart will respond to the way you feel... so even if it means creating a fake world to keep you happy and cope, do it.. eveything that you're feeling WILL end soon. look to the future... there are so many things you havent tried or seen... use them as your motivation love.
and trust me love.... don't let go of your life. its more precious than you think. you don't realize that until you breath you last breath. don't lose it!

 

:D

man.....why they do that to u ? u said u didnt be mean to them ...ehm.... are they jelous or something ?
i hate that kind of people ! well...look just let them be......just ask them why they do that to u
and if the continue kick their a****
sry im late to reply .... i didnt see that there are 54 pages xD anyway listen to my opinion.
my problem now
weeell all started when i met her ...i started to like her and we talked on the school breaks ..and 1 week later i saw her flerting with a guy from my school..... i asked my friend if he likes her and if she like him and he said yes to both......:( sooo what should i do may i let her with the guy ooor i should keep flerting with her? sry for my english :P

 

I’m a pretty emotional person and sometimes I’m not able to tell exactly what I’m feeling. It’s kinda hard to explain .-.
For example; I went nuts trying to figure out if I still liked my ex because I kept thinking about him. The reason I felt like I still like him was because I regretted saying something to him before we broke up but after I apologized, the feeling went away.
So uh…I’ve been friends with this one guy (whom I shall call codename Master Chief =P) for like 3 years and I recently broke up with this other guy (codename Cou). I feel like I may have feelings for Master Chief, but I don’t know if it’s because I just broke up with Cou, or if it’s because I really like Master Chief.
I’d never want to ruin our friendship by misinterpreting my feelings ^^; and I doubt he even feels that way for me >>
I hope that makes sense, but I was wondering if anyone could give me some advice v_v

 

I have the same problem, but just tell yourself he does like you and tell him how you feel. And if he is a real friend he'll understand...and if he doesn't like you back he'll say it a nice way. I don't think the crush will ruin your friendship and make it awkward. Just try and find out if he does kind of like you. Does that make any sense?

 

Same thing happened with a close friend and I last year. But I ended up telling her too late because I didn't know if she cared. Now in the end that was a good thing because I met somebody that I love very much after that but every experience is different. All I can say is go for it before it's too late hun. Oh and my friend took it fine because we were close enough friends that it wasn't like OMG YOU'RE SO WEIRD! But yeah we're still friends now and I'm sure everything is gonna work out between you and Master Chief.

PS: I lol'd when you called your friend Master Chief.

 

So i really kinda need some help.

I posted a while ago about my GF breaking up with me but then like two weeks after that I was talking to her and she had this new guy and she was all happy about it and i was still just miserable and i couldn't take it and i started cutting up my arm. I did it for like...5-6 months and i didn't do it at all through out most of february and all of march. But yesterday was just bad. I couldn't handle it. It wasn't anything major, but everything that's been happening just came crashing down and mixed with a generally bad day and i cut up my arm again, because it's something i'm used to do and it at least provides a distraction. Today was even worse. I had a few razorblades in my jeans pocket and i spent the whole day thinking about killing myself. I didn't, obviously, but i'm just so...tired. I'm tired physically and i'm tired of my dad's bullsh*t and i'm tired of my mom yelling at me all the time and i'm tired of not being wanted, or attractive in the least to any of the girls of my school, and i'm just tired of living, basically. I am most likely not going to kill myself, i'm far too much of a wimp, but i feel like it all the time and i just dunno what to do. All my friends ever say is get over it and get happy but it's really, really, hard to go from suicidal to cheerful in a minute or two.

I don't even know if i want to get some actual help because i can pretty much keep it under control and i don't to freak out my mom anymore than she already is, she has enough stuff on her plate without me being a problem teenager.

 

My mom is on this site....

 

Was there a time in your life when things weren't so bad? When did the majority of your problems start?

 

End of fourth grade. My dad got into drugs and alcohol and stuff and it really just didn't get much better after that.

 

My life problems are:

I have a learning disability,

It's called Asperger's Syndrome,and it's part of the Autism Spectrum.

and cause of that nobody but my mom understands me cause I'm different.

and I have a VERY mean and annoying grandmother.

She REALLY doesn't understand me. and it's like she just tries to make things worse for me too.

She makes me so mad. Sometimes I want to KILL her.:guns:

I'd. . .rather not say anymore about that.

and the only relative I have that I feel like I can trust is my mom.:(

She's the only one who understands me.

It's quite sad.

 

@Axelfan8708 : You seem to be like me in a couple of ways. Do you mind if I ask you a couple more questions?

@VideoGameCrazyMan: A friend of mine thinks I have Asperger's syndrome as well.


I think you guys might benefit from this book: Thoughts and Feelings Third Edition Also If any other person with some personal problems is reading this post, please read this book as well.


This book helped me manage my painful thoughts and feelings and understand where the pain comes from. Another plus is that it's easy to understand.

I don't actually own the book myself, I borrowed it. From what I remember, the book describes 8 thinking patterns that cause a lot of painful emotions:


Filtering
When you look at only certain aspects of a problem. I do this often, look at the bad side of situations and ignore the good side. This caused me to feel many horrible feelings. When I looked at the good side of side of situation a bit more and focused on opportunities I had to make my life better, I felt less depressed, more in control, and somewhat relaxed. Life didn't seem as bad then.

Polarized Thinking
Black and white thinking. This can be very harmful. If you aren't perfect you may percieve yourself as worthless. Or if you aren't a genius you may think of yourself as being very dumb. One way to counter polarized thinking is to think in percentages. Example: 30% of the time I act like an idiot, 10% of the time I mean to people, 60% of the time I'm an alright guy. That way you avoid thinking of yourself as worthless.

Personaliztion
When you assume other people's reaction's are always related to you and when you compare yourself to others. When I assumed other's people's negative reactions were always caused by me, I became self-conscious and thought something was wrong with me. But there was no reason to assume this. I didn't actually know what they were reacting to. It could of been me or it could of been something or someone completely unrelated to me. The only way I could know is to ask, otherwise all i'm making is assumptions. I compared my weaknesses to other people strengths. If I was weak in one area I thought of someone who was strong in that area. This made me feel bad by comparision. But, everybody has different strengths and weaknesses. While that person may me be more accomplished in one area, they have weaknesses like me too. I may even have a strength in a area where their weak.

^I only written about these three in detail. The other five are:

Shoulds

Mind Reading

Catastrophizing

overgeneralization

Magnifying


This is what I learned:

1.Your thoughts can make the mental state your in stronger.

EX: Anger - Anger influenced thoughts - more Anger.
Angry thoughts direct your mind towards things that excite your anger.

2. You can develop beneficial mental qualities by keeping your thoughts in a certain direction.

EX: If you think patient thoughts most of the time, you can become more patient. Your mental state which is influenced by your thoughts, directs yours thoughts towards things that makes that mental state stronger.

3. You can change your view by changing how you look at things.

EX: If your pessimestic, you look for the bad in things. By making a strong effort you can change this view. If you constantly focus your mind on the good in things you can change your overall view of life. Since your looking for the good in things, you'll tend to notice that more. And because your focusing more on the good in things than usual, you'll focus less on the bad side of things, so you'll tend to notice that less.


If your interested in the book Thoughts and Feelings Third Edition you can buy it here:http://www.amazon.com/Thoughts-Feelings-Cognitive-Behavioral-Techniques/dp/1572240938

^It's not the Third Edition though, which is a bit better.

If you can't buy it online you can always go to your book store. They might not have it, so you may have to ask someone who works there and request they get it.

If you can't buy it at all, you can go to this website:
http://www.cognitivebehavior.com/practice/tools/instruction/Techniques/T02.pdf

I haven't looked at the entire website, but it describes the 8 thinking patterns and it has ways of dealing with painful thoughts and feelings. Please take a look at it.

The reading begins at this part:Technique #02 Altering Limited Thinking
Patterns

 

Progress!

I threw out all my razorblades today. I don't need them anymore, and i don't want them around if i ever feel like offing myself.

Plus, i hate looking at them. They're little and sharp and this odd orange color and they remind of what a fuggin idiot i was.

 

That's great Axelfan8708!!!! I feel happy for you.