Help with Life

Ouch >< thats common >> at least your alive so far right? ^^' sorry not funny >> anyway, I would talk to a counsler or a friendly teacher about it. if they say something like 'its just the way they teach and we cant do anything about it' then......ok here is were it kinda depends >> if its a teacher your scared of then find something that will keep you alive and drive you to getting through the day. I always wake up when I through some water in my face (normaly cold water) and listen to some hyper music.

 

My problems are many. :P But mainly, it's the fact that when I was younger, I used to say really stupid things, mostly because of this anti depressant I was taking that made me suicidal. I never had any friends through all of elementary school, and I know it was all my fault. Eventually I switched schools, after being suspended far too many times for 'behavioral issues' that *I* thought were just misunderstandings.

We moved to this more suburban school district. I made a really good friend there, but I always feel so weird at school. I'm always comparing myself to others and am really paranoid about what they think of me. I'm a lot more mentally stable than I was three years ago (a LOT better - there's even this gap in my memory of those times) but this anxiety and paranoia thing still gets to me. Half the time I'm happy and really confident and then all of a sudden I'm plunged into this really bad depression. Recently it got so bad I almost took all of my ADD pills but my sister took them away from me, and after that I cried for two hours.

Then there's my mom, who had me when she was really young and who I suspect has a problem with commitment to relationships. :P Which makes me sound really judgmental. Which also makes me sound like a *****.

When me and my sister were younger she'd beat us sometimes and then get the church minister to come over and tell us we deserved it. Then she got this really awful boyfriend who could yell at us and come home reeking of pot and hitting my brothers and she'd pass him off as wonderful. Late last school year we packed and left and stayed at a hotel for two weeks.

Damn...you know what, I really don't know what I want, I just want the loneliness to stop. I want to stop feeling selfish, too.

I think I mostly just wanted to write this down at last, I don't know how anyone could help me with what's my LIFE, in all honesty. :P Hell people have worse problems, I understand that.

 

ok, the "ppl have worst problems" thing, I havent really met much ppl as bad as that >> (no effence) first of all, I rly rly rly want to say sorry T~T I would really lose it badly if I was in your posision >> the writing it down to let it out thing works most of the time so you might want to keep a misery dairy (and never read it again) You should keep holding on to being confident and learn to have some fun goofing around ^^ example (and I cant believe I'm saying this --') go to the mirror and complement yourself. Yeah! I said it >< I got the same advice from another person and scarecly......it works. but you really have to mean it and avoid negativity (thats the tricky thing) and its a good thing you have someone to be a real friend for you ^^ but I would start out with saying the whole life story. Have some fun and if you really want to let it all out, ask them if they can talk to you. sorry if this isnt much >>

 

No, it is a lot, thanks very much. I'm just glad to know somebody's willing to give me good advice without telling me to grow up or think about other people with real problems instead. I just sometimes feel like I can't take it anymore. I don't know what keeps me sane, lol...
EDIT: But still, thank you soo much. :D

 

Ugh, I hate it when ppl tell you the same thing Xd its so annoying and it dosent help most of the time. That whole "think of others thing" its true, but its like the "Treat others the way you want to be treated" as long as your willing to do the same for another, its ok to ask for help. and now I'm talking like a phycoligest >> scarey ><
EDIT: np ^^ glad I can help

 

lol...Desaray's advice is so awesome..I still feel I should comment on this..
You shouldn't say people have worse problems, not that you problem is as bad as if gets, but it is pretty bad. Try not to compare yourself to others. Just proud what you do and who you are. If somebody has a problem with you, ignore them and always stay confident. Don't be over confident though.
With your sister.... Maybe you should talk to her...Tell her how you feel I guess... And as for her boyfriend (If they are still together), stand up for yourself. Don't let him yell at you. Don't let anybody push you around.
Like Desray said, keep a journal or a diary, compliment yourself, just stay positive.

 

I'd say with this, it's the past and to try to let that go and accept it's over. There's nothing that can be done about that sort of thing and it's best chocked up to life's experiences.

Many people compare themselves to others. We all do it to some level, but you don't want to let it be consuming and habitual. People who do that will find that they think they are always either better or worse than those around them and it can either make you very arrogant or very depressed. Try to not do that so much and you might be happier.

Also, people think all sorts of things about others. Most of the time, paranoia doesn't pay off because the person makes the 'feelings' a person may have seem amplified and out of control. Also, it's sort of just taking a view of the pessimist that things will be as horrible as you can imagine with no real validity. It's far more important to think about what you feel about yourself than what you ponder others might think of you. People change their minds, but you also won't be able to tell. I do ponder if maybe with these mood shifts of feeling very confident and then depressed that it's not 'depression' that you should be being treated for, but instead possibly bipolar. Of course, since you can't be diagnosed over a message board, I'd see about talking to your therapist and explaining these mood shifts and seeing if maybe it's not bipolar, OCD or any other thing associated with or other than depression.

I am glad to hear you are doing better than you were 3 years ago and I hope you continue to get better. Anxiety is a real drag and can bring you down. One focus, though as others have mentioned and I will again, is to try to not focus so much on what others are doing or you assume they are thinking. You should try to inwardly reflect and work on yourself. You aren't a carbon copy of anyone else so you aren't going to turn into what some of them want and you shouldn't despair. You are important as you.

Well, you have a right to notice 'flaws' in your mom. She's human and not perfect and neither is anyone truly. It's not hard to figure out that someone has issues with commitment. If we look, we can find quite a few people like that. I don't think it makes you sound bad.

My mother used to beat the tar out of me and religion was brought into the deal too. I know where you are coming from here. It made me into the adorable atheist I am today. The best advice I can give there is that your mom probably has some of the mental issues you do but they were never addressed. She's probably been very angry, anxious and lets her moods take her where she's going to go and to 'justify' them, she gets this person to come over and say you are bad. Totally disregard this because it's not you. It's her with some mental issues you probably inherited and she obviously didn't know better or want to see past that. You are doing what she didn't and getting help.

As for her boyfriend that was the way he was...if he's gone, forget him. Yeah, it took time out of your life to suffer at the hands of your mom's 'winner' choice of a boyfriend, but I hope he's gone now and if he's not, there's probably little you can do if your mom doesn't see the issue but to hope you turn old enough and have a convenient way to get away from there. Your mom really does seem to have mental problems to me and you are suffering because of it. You should love her but also see she's fallible, just as we all are and she really should get help if she doesn't always want to repeat these bad mistakes she's doing. It doesn't seem to me you are doing anything too wrong yourself and your environment is bad so it's wreaking some havoc on you.

Well, no one can go over and help you probably, but we do have good ears, I'd like to think (or eyes in this case). Loneliness is something we all feel at times and I hope hearing the responses people gave you would at least be some small comfort that some people do care and we acknowledge your existence. You might want to try getting yourself out more too, so that you can join some social groups and functions and feel more a part of life. Also, try exercising and things that raise the metabolism and give you a boost that way. It may help. I wish you luck and hope things get better for you.

As for people having worse problems, as others said, try to not compare yourself to others so much. It's a good idea to have benevolence and compassion, realizing people all around suffer and go through their pangs of life, but really, when it comes to life, there's no real 'competition' for who suffers the most. We help as we can, we cope as we can. It's the big game. No one should have to feel utterly alone to face these things but sometimes we just are and have to endure until things change. So, it's good to realize you aren't the only one out there going through these things or even worse, but it doesn't mean you don't have problems and shouldn't pay attention to them too so you can fix them and adjust as need be. You are not any less important than anyone else, okay?

 

I'm glad this is a thread.
I'm having some issues. With my faith, and "love life."
I'm a Christian, and I'm having some issues with their beliefs. For example, I agree that homosexual people should have the right of marriage but my church condemns it. The history seems a little off to me,etc.
And in my "love life", I'd just broke up with a girl who actually understood me for who I was and still am. I moved over the summer and had to break up. I live in Ken. while she lives in Tenn. I've tried to start a relationship, but Mr. Bad Luck seems to be haunting me.
There's a certain girl at school that I'm friends with. We've gotten to a satge where we feel comfortable around each other and pass notes during class{es}. I asked her out at the beginning of the year, but she had a boyfriend.
And I think I'm in love with her.
Please help.

 

Yeah it is a good thread huh

Anyway.. with your first issue.. I am a christian also... but I am like one of those people who like to defend other peoples rights.. like people being teased for homosexuality.. To me the only difference between that and hetrosexuality is that you don't have babies.. they'res nothing wrong with gays, and it's your own beliefs. If the church doesn't like it.. I suggest you don't pay attention to the part where they gay bash

It's upsetting when a long distance relationship ends love.. I think I know... When I was little I liked a guy but then I moved to Australia.. from England.

It's nice that you've found someone new!! If she had a boyfriend... does that mean she doesn't have one anymore? If she doesn't maybe you should try again 'If at first you don't succeed try again'

Now i have a little issue of my own

My parents (after about 20 years) have decided to break up. It's really upset me and I've changed a bit. I have been a lot quieter and my friends have noticed, asking me whats wrong. I promised my parents I wouldn't tell anyone at this stage, but I want to tell just a few because it's hard to keep this in.

 

I feel you bro ( sis? xD) , but don't be sad about what happened in the past.

Here i will explain :

Forget the past , and stick in the present...don't let you're guard down.


End.

 

Well... I don't know if you could consider this a 'problem with life', and I know it's nothing compared to some people on here, but it's something that's been bothering me lately...

Most of it involves YouTube, and people on there. I'm going to try to keep names out of this, but some people should be pretty easy to guess... =/ I also like AMV-making, despite the fact I have so few...

I really look up to an AMV maker. Well, multiple, I guess you could say. I've chatted with some, and they're nice to me. But one... I really don't know about. Sometimes he's nice to me, other times (seems like most) I'm afraid he pure despises me. I'm only trying to be friends, but it doesn't seem to always work out... I'm afraid I bugged him too much in the past, but I'm trying to get over and forget that. However, it doesn't seem he wants to... And NO, I'm not trying to get him to 'like' me (you know what I mean). I'm not up for that... -.- I had the honor of participating in an AMV Worm he made, but I held it up for a little bit (slow-worker, procrastinator, lack of inspiration...). He's told me he likes the part I made for it (I probably could've done better... =/), but even though I've asked him twice, he's never told me what he thinks of my full AMV. It kinda bugs me, because other people randomly come up and ask him to comment on their videos, and he does. I send him a PM, and half the time it seems like he ignores me. I don't expect him to be there to answer right away, but I feel like he's just pushing me aside because I've bothered him in the past. I also somewhat feel that I'm going to have to practically prove myself worthy for him to even recognize me as someone other than someone who bugged him in the past... I'm really wondering if it's worth it now. I also have 3 close friends on there, and 2 some-what friends who are nice to me.
Anyways, now that's that's out, I feel I should give a bit more story:
I'm homeschooled, and have NO desire to go to public school. I used to go to Pokemon TCG meetings (I made my only real-life friend [not counting my mom] there), but recently stopped because most of the people there bugged me too much. I also did guitar for about 2 years, but I've been taking a break since September-ish, and I'm planning on starting back next month. I don't like sports (asthma has something to do with it). So... AMV-making is something I enjoy, I guess. It's a big hobby of mine. I also greatly enjoy video games, of course.
And another thing is... I feel like a bit of an outcast. I'm not like most girls... I listen to Linkin Park and My Chemical Romance (Gerard Way is my personal hero, in a way), I like black and purple instead of blinding pink and vibrant colors, I shop at Hot Topic (I'm not emo/goth -.-), I'd rather made a video about Riku with an LP song than a fluffy SoraxKairi video... And it seems I've been made to be an outcast because I do what I like, and feel I don't have to follow the crowd...

I don't know if this is so much something someone can help me with, I just really wanted to let it out, I guess... If you have any advice, I suppose let me know... =/

 

I am a girl XDD lol

Oh and it was like at the start of the week when they told us (me and me 2 bros) so it wasn't like in the past really

 

Then forget about the present and stick to the future of you're own.

 

For the first part, it would really depend. if that person was a really good friend to you before (might have but I'm not sure) then you should be able to messege him if there was anything that mighthave been bothering him about you (if you already did that then sorry for saying it >>) if he dosent(or didnt) messege back at all then you would need to learn to let it go. And its the same advice for if your not really not that close of friends with that guy. if he was a freind at all then he should have said something right? ^^ sorry if that seems like really bad advice but it cant always work out all the time. but like I said, it would really depend.

as for the outcast thing, BE PROUD OF IT!!! XD I personally like almost all colors but if you dont like bright and joy joy then be happy cause those who do as others do arent worth the time and effort to get to know. they'll just be like everyone else (like zombies =O). but dont get me wrong here, there are one of those ppl who would be worth get to knowing despite the diffrences. An example, I would be one of those, try not to get to dark ppl. I like dark colors but I also like really really really bright ones. My kinda of favorite music is disney stuff but I do listen to skillet, lp, nickleback, lil mama, souldjer boi, all that XD and almost all my freinds are the opisite. We still find new surprises from eachother and its great ^^ So basically what I'm trying to say is that you should stay the way you are, be whatever you want as long as your you, and even though you might be way out there from others that dosent mean you cant make freinds at all. If your being regected for whatever reason, ignore it ^^ have fun the way you are. you know your better when you can stand being with others with diffrences when they clearly cant XD but just dont rub it in their face cause you'll sink rly rly low >> Sorry if I repeated a lot of things that were really pointless.I just hope this helps at all ^^' =loads paint gun= if not ^^ we can paint fight! =D

 

I've asked him, and he told me that I've bothered him, and to not PM him as much... I don't get it. I was only trying to be friends. If he only wants to be friends with people who make Top 5 every week, fine. I don't need him. I'm used to this kind of stuff happening, anyways...

I listen to some pretty different stuff, that you wouldn't think would be on an iPod together unless it was shared by to completely different people. Not only do I have a TON of My Chem, LP, Gackt, some Skillet, Evanescence, etc., I also have 2 Jesse McCartney CDs, and Freezepop's songs from Guitar Hero... 0.o Some people might think I'm weird, but hey, whatever. Thanks for the help! ^^

Another thing that's been pestering me is if I should continue with my videos. I recently entered my video, which made Top 5 (not bragging, just saying) into a contest on here. I didn't make the cut, and come of the videos that beat mine, not to be rude, sucked. -.- I feel like inspiration hardly comes for me, and there's no real point in going on with this.

 

by the sound of that I dont think he's worth it at all ^^ lol his lost =P

I think that if you like vids a lot then you should rly contine ^^ you dont try brag or try to be rude so thats a good thing =D and your iPod music sound like loads of fun! XD Jesse mcartney is pretty good, havent heard much of anything so i'm gonna have to try that >> you sound like an awesome person to be around with though ^^ always a new surprise around every corner

 

LOL! XD I guess so. I've heard he's nice sometimes, but he hardly seems to be 'friendly' with me. Like you said, his loss. =)

I have 3 friends on YT who keep telling me I should keep going. My parents got me a very fast and nice computer for Christmas, and they say it'll help me with my AMV-making, and they keep talking about 'if I go on with my AMV-making' and stuff. I don't want to upset them, but I almost feel like I'm being forced to keep doing it... =/ Thanks! =) My mom says I'm supposedly 'a lot of fun to be with', but sometimes I don't see how... XD Thanks a lot! ^^

 

k I know I keep replying and all but yeah >> bad habit XD lol you dont need to continue if you dont want to. maybe their just encouraging you but I dont think they'll get too upset if they understand that you dont realy want to >>

and I could understand how if your mother told you that kind of stuff it dosent really feel true =trys not to laugh= .......^^ lol

 

It's okay! ^^ Thing is, one of them told me that if I quit AMV-making, she will, too... o.o

LOL!!!! XD

 

ouch.....>> no presure much >< lol