Help with Life

Well... I thought I would just let you know I've taken everything you guys told me into consideration.. and it pretty much worked. Wonderfully. We don't get to talk in person much because, like I said, we only see eachother on the weekends but still everything is wonderful right now. I opened up to him a lot and told him a lot of stuff about my childhoos that my family doesn't even really know and despite the fact that it hurt him to hear about me going through all that, he listened and gave me feedback and everything. It only brought us closer. I realize if you really want something you have to be patient, notn that I didn't know that before but now I have first hand experience.

Because of my impatience and everything I ruined what could have been a nice christmas with him, I wanted to see him so bad I ended up pushing everyones, including his, buttons the wrong way and ended up spending it alone. We didn't get into a fight or break up or anything, just I said some things I shouldn't have that hurt him and while he would have came to get me that day instead he spent it in bed trying to calm down.

But everything is great now. I understand him quite a bit better because he opened up to me, as well. He told me about past relationship and while I won't go into detail, if I was him and some girl did half that stuff to me I would always be on my toes and afraid of getting hurt, too.

 

I'm back here again with a smaller issue but I'll need to inform deeply the situation...

well the guy I said I liked I've becmae friends with cos well to be honest he doesn't like men that way so I aimed for friendship and well it worked!!!

but now somethings up with himcos yesterday I was talking with him on msn and he suddenly disappeared and I called him today asking him what happened and he said 'he wen the pub' which is weird for an 16 year old to say since he would've went t the pub at like 1:30AM.

and today i was talking with him on MSN and he said he needed to go pee at 8:50PM today and his computer must have switched off cos he sudenly went offlineand he normally says goodbye and he hasn't been nline since then and it's 03:47 right now so it's weird...

Iperosnally know somethings up and he said he didn't feel like talking about it and I know some tidbits of the issue cos it's about girl helikes and perosnally she's screwin with his head a lot and he still likes her and he's gonn get hurt badly (this woman accepted a marriage proposal from some guy just to screw with my friend's head), I sent him amessage offering him support but i suppose I need some advice on his situation too cos I really am worried about him.

 

It seems like he is reacting to you nervously and not sure what to do about things. You might just want to try asking him direct ...something along the lines of:
"If I offended you, would you tell me what I have done to fix things? You are a good friend to me and I am at a loss here but if I did something, at least tell me when you can so I can try to fix it."

If the person doesn't respond then, at least he knows you -do- care to remedy things. It could be he doesn't like your take of this girl he obviously seems to think is fine while you see the danger signs. Infatuation or Obsession can be a thing that comes between friends as a person is so obsessed with someone else that they just won't adhere other people's warnings. Sometimes people need to learn about the dangers of obsession the hard way and if that is his problem with you, I guess you have to do what all friends sometimes have to and that is to stand back and wait for when the ball drops. It's 'tough love' but sometimes that's how it works. If you've voiced your opinion about her and he's still gung ho to do his thing, there's nothing else you can do but be his friend and watch out for him from the sidelines, and be there when it all goes down hill. His choices are his own.

I hope things work out for you guys and he'll be okay. Maybe he will listen to you about her but if not, that's really all I can suggest.

 

Well I'm gonna confront him over the phone soon o we'll see what happens.

 

I don't really have any friends at school. I sit alone at a table and I'm not really noticed. People make fun of me because I have no friends and just because I'm smart, they make fun of me. This website is the only place where I have few friends. I need help with people sterotyping me and making fun of me. I can't stand it anymore. This happened for 3 years to the point that now I started to become depreesed and thought of cutting myself. I really dont have many people to talk to so....Please give me your thoughts.

 

First off, don't let it get to you if anyone makes fun of you for who you are. Those people are either trying to make themselves look funny to their friends or they're so insecure in themselves that they need to bring other people down to make themselves feel good. I mean I play Yu-gi-oh in the lunchroom; it’s all too easy for people to make fun of me. That and I’m in the gifted class despite LD issues; making me a geek, nerd, and ****** all rolled up into one.

As for making friends try this. Work off of relationships you already have (classmate, some who sits near you at lunch, the guy with the locker next to you, etc.) then just find their lunch table, dive in, and mingle. If you don’t want to find someone you half-know it still works, just helps having at least one person that’s not giving you the “who the hell are you?” look. If someone asks why you’re there just say something like you wanted to mix it up. And if you ever feel uncomfortable feel free to just get up and walk away, the point of friends are to make you happier, not more miserable.

 

Theres this boy named cody hes like 17 and i'm a little older than him where I was people called me all sort of names like pedafile and such. Cody says he loves me and says alot of romantic things, but sometimes I feel like I can't trust him and if I just said something like "I dont wanna tell you this or that yet" he'll keep trying to pry it out of me and its not the playful kind of prying either, he thinks I'm cheating on him and says constantly I don't love him and if I get mad at him he gets mad and says that its all my fault and i'm the reason we're not working out together anymore. He says give him another chance and I've given him 2. He just disappears a month at a time and once while he was gone I met a guy named jeremy and we started getting closer and we're sort of together now,but cody came back and wants me to leave jeremy for him, I'm just confused about everything.

 

that's an easy one. lose Cody.

 

its so hard his words always get to me

 

you dont' have to do it alone. have your best friend with you and he/she can support you and make sure you dont' fall for him again. and if he keeps talking find a way to ignore him?

 

If Cody loved you, he wouldn't blame you for everything, he wouldn't leave for months on end, without trying to talk to you alot. He's not treating you right, just beacuse he is charming and romantic, doesn't mean he is the right person for you.
If jeremy is repsecting you more, teating you right, than compared to Cody, he's a saint.
You may think you shouldn't leave Cody because you and him were together before Jeremy, but its not fair on you.
If Jeremy is better, than Cody (Which sounds like he is) Than go with him.
If he cared for you, he would want you to be happy.

 

Second time posting in here x3.

My boyfriend and his friend, who is also my friend, have very sick minds. They make sick and offensive jokes all of the time.
That's not what bugs me though. I laugh with them and usually find it funny. What bugs me is that they sometimes cross the line, and it turns to harassment. I'll tell them to stop, that they're going too far or what have you, and most of the time they'll stop, but sometimes I can't help but wonder if they were serious. I'll usually get an answer out of my boyfriend, but his friend likes to keep me wondering.
I just want to know how I can stop them from going that far, at least around me.

 

Tell your boyfriend that it's a bit offencive and to stop.If he truely loves you he will stop.As for his friend, Watch him.I've Come across people like that and they do stuff that i cannot mention on this forum.

 

I think I'm a regular here now...

...Well to the point this new problem is unbelieeably bad I'm not entriely sure its allowed to be discussed on the forum considering it has issues containing something illegal (so I'll have to remain sketchy and blunt with the story).

I was out with friends today and we were in an area that's not particulary the safest one; i was with three eople two girls, one guy. te guy was buy talking to a group of people about something while I was talking with the two girls, then the group of people group around me and they ask me to buy something and dragged me off to a corner and forced me to intake something Iwould never want to take. The two women thought I walked off with them so they left the place and are angry/worried at me and aren't answering any of my calls. i know perfectly well it's not the guys fault that the people swarmed me, they saw that i had a bag and assumed I had money (which I did). but I ended up coming home to an emty house and just cried in my bed for five hours while trying to call my female friends with no success (they rejected all my calls) and I've been feeling really dow all day (i think the older members can put two and two together of my predicament).

so my main issue is about my two friends really and I didn't have a chice in the matter because the people swarming me do have a violent reputation (even though I don't know their names).

 

If you are happy with Jeremy, stay with Jeremy. He hasn't messed up on you and it seems you are happier with him. One of the hardest things to do is to tell someone who was close to you that it's truly over but it seems you really need to lay that into Cody and say that you've been through too much pain and you see no change and it's truly done now.

Just because a guy knows how to lay on the romantic lines and all does not mean a thing. It shows they know how to play a game. Anyone can lay on the shmooze with some acting technique. If your instincts tell you that you do not trust the person -listen to them-. They are generally correct. If he can't be open or honest any way, he's not worth it. I would strongly suggest in the end, whether you get with Jeremy or not, do yourself a favor and do not get back with Cody unless you -really- think this boy has changed. The signs are there that he's not into it all the way and just wants you there, but doesn't seem to really like you as he should or trust you. He wants to keep secrets and all and instinct really is a big thing here you should listen to over your 'feelings' otherwise.

People are people and some of us love to do some jokes and talk some nasty raunchy things now and then. However, generally, if you ask most people to stop doing it -around you- then most people would be good natured and know not to go that far. It seems you laugh and deal with some of their jokes but when it turns to harassment and nastiness at you, you get offended. If they do not want to stop, they are being very inconsiderate.

It seems though that your BF would stop and does care. After all, he's the one who has something to lose in all of this...You. The friend though doesn't and I think it might be that your BF is receiving some kind of peer pressure from the friend who happens to be kind of a jerk. You hold no power of influence over that friend of his, and the BF may feel strained between you two because he knows he has some sway but doesn't really want to lose either of you. Don't expect too much out of the friend of your BF. It's probably not going to happen that he's going to change. However, talk to your BF and tell him that when the friend starts to get that way, you will take off for a while until it's over and your BF can make a choice because no one should have to be there and deal with harassment. Then, when this friend won't stop acting big, just go ahead and don't make a stink about it, but do take off for a while. Then your BF will either tell him to cut it out or he'll leave, or you'll find out just what type of man you are really dating and if he's worth it or not.

Others may have other takes on this, but sometimes it's better to just be forward about it and deal with it because I seriously doubt your words will -ever- have any impact on a guy like that. I know because I have friends like that and have to tell them to cut it out as they won't listen to the women at all who they do it to. They aren't dating them, so it has no effect on them whatsoever.

 

Every day I come to my home... but I don't feel at home... my sisters are constantley on their phones, my mom is either sewing or on her computer, and my dad is always at work... we hardly spend any family time together... and everybody always constantely nags me about being on the computer so much... aside from my family, I feel as though none of my friends care anymore and they have just forgotten about me... I feel as though everybody I knew and loved... and always hung out with... it feels like they hate me and nobody cares... I feel like my entire life is falling apart... mt grades are slowly dropping... my computer addiction has become worse... and I just don't know what to do, say, or think anymore... I get depressed more often then I used to and I just have no clue what the h*ll is wrong with me... more than half the time I feel like hiding away from the world for the rest of eternity...

 

this sounds scarly familure >> you keep holding on Destiny ^^ I know its not entirly easy but it will help. Try to find some things outside the computer and look for new things that are fun to talk about with your friends and family. Ask if you guys can play like a game of monoply and make it more then just a bored game ^^ and with your friends, find simple things to get eachother talking. Like a walk around the school during your free time or sit and ask/talk about the kind of music you guys are into, or maybe even mention about the talent show I showed you =D (sorry >> random suggestion ^^') just make simple things fun =D

 

every time we try to play a game as a family, my sisters refuse to play and go off to their rooms... and I've tried to get into sports and stuff but it isn't working very well... and almost all of my friends seem to be getting into different stuff then I am and I'm trying to hold onto them but I don't know how... I try to start a conversation but they end up talking about something they all enjoy but I don't...

 

ohz >> kk um....=thinks= dont give in to what their into if you dont like it (you already know that so I dont know why I put that up ><) you do have a close friend right? one you can go to for about anything? well let them know and see what they think? they probobly dont even know about this and can try to get everyone stuck together like you r. and as for your family, secretly plan for a vacation with one of your parents as a surprise (make sure there's no internet or phone service XD {jk but it would be good if it was a place with not so much technology}). thats what i would try to do. (it might not help all that much so I'll try to think of something else >>)

 

I have problems in school. I sleep early every night so I won't be tired at school. But the next morning, I woke up so tired. And when at school, my BM teacher is a disipline teacher, so she expects the best from us and she wants the class to be clean before she comes in. Moreover, she doesn't want us to shrug at her questions and she thorws and tears our homework pages if our writing is horrible. >< She will throw our bags and we have to stand outside our classroom if we cannot answer her questions. And when she teaches I cannot really pay much attention because I am tired.