Help with Life

HisNobody and Easter - you are definately not alone!
A very dear friend of mine is quite the same. One minute she is all happy and bubbly and the next she is depressed and in a self-inflicting harm state.
Although we live 20 minutes away from each other, we talk on msn very night. But when she is a self-inflicting harmful state, I tend to be forceful on her - only because I have to - to get my message cross.
She is better now, especially after I told her how much she means to me and to Hikari - she felt a bit guilty after that I think.

Maybe for an idea, take you friend out, spoil them a bi, do things together (things you both enjoy) and show them how much they mean to you. I did the very same thing this week with my friend (to a Japanese festival - as we both share a interest in Japanese culture) I got her Strawberries and Chocolates - her fave foods, and her spirit has definitely been lifted.

 

Ugh, suicide again, look I know this may osund Heartless but you shouldn't care that much, most prople who say they are going to commit suicide don't ever do it, I should know, I've had 3 people in the last three years come to me saying they woud od suicide, it is attention seeking, you should treat them with notice but not act like they are the center of attention all the time, it just encourages them to say they will do worse things, just act like a friend, I know its hard but, it happens, the people who commit suicide don't ever tell anyone, the ones you least suspect do it....
I've lost a friend through suicide myself, she never told anyone she was unhappy, or anything, she just did it, its not nice to find a friend dead, and i know you don't want to take the chance, so I shouldn't really say anything unless people want to heed my words...

 

I am sorry to heard about your friend.

But I guess some cases can not be ignored, especially with one who inflicts harm to them selves.

I am definately afraid that my friend would ultimately commit suidcide, I know she cuts herself - she has the scars to prove it. She says that cutting herself makes her feel better more alive...so this is why I am afraid that she will commit suidcide.

Even if they say that they are going to commit sucide and then done. I still believe that you should be around them, make at least feel loved and wanted.

 

Attention should be given to those who are -announcing- their pain. That is what some of these things are done for. It's a call for help. However, you want to make sure to not let yourself get wrapped up in it all too much where it makes your own life a misery.

I have had friends or others I didn't know so well commit suicide and I can say that they went quietly and just -did it- instead of announcing to people. The people that are quiet and push away from others ultimately are more likely to commit suicide than those doing things out loud and going for attention.

However, that being said, if you just ignore someone who is crying out for help, you could encourage them to go the route of suicide because 'no one cares'. So if you see someone hurting themselves, being very emotional in a negative way often, they may just need someone to be a friend. However, know -your- limits and also -theirs-. Some people really do need more help than any single person can give, no matter how much you care for them. Some people are very depressed, self-absorbed, angry and frustrated with everything. These people may need intervention higher than a -friend- can give or even a loved one such as family or a husband or wife. If things get too bad, you will want to talk to the family sincerely because that person may need some medical care. Even if that person gets mad at you, you can just say you are always their friend and that's what you felt you had to do. It's the last course of action really, but if they aren't getting better, you can't just -ignore- it.

Of course, saying all that, we probably all know people who are attention getters and are hopping around going 'me me me'. They do things to make themselves seem like they have it so hard while others who do are well, trying to explain it isn't so bad. Some people -do- jerk your chain. Again, this comes as a matter of knowing what can -you- take before you start to get frustrated yourself. These people are not the ones that are going to commit suicide. They are drama club winners.

However, in all cases, watch how you judge people. You might find out you are wrong and boy can that suck if something particularly rotten happens.

 

I will say sometihng about cutting ones self, since I myself use to something like cutting myself, I have to admit it helps the pain, if you make the pain spread out around your body at different points it feels, pleasurable almost, I don't do it as much, I rarely hurt myself anymore, but I can control my urges, sometihng many people don't do, but if some cuts themselves, to me they aren't trying to do suicide, since they are trying to stay alive by hurting theemselves, but I do have to admit, if I had a friend around the times I was hurting myself then I may have stopped but I didn't so help each other as much as possible, just help her...

 

I'm back again with good and bad news about myself...

Good News: I'm friends again with the guy I like.

Bad News: I have feelings for someone else who is older than me (I've talked to him a few times but he hardly knows me yet I know a fair bit about him thanks to my friend). He's called Kyle and I know he isn't gay (but I don't know if he's straight but me and my good friend say it's possible) and I have feelings for him (more on a sexual level I guess since he isn't a virgin due to a drunken accident with a real tramp) and he rejected my friend who is 12 (but they were both drunk and it is a three year difference). I like him but don't know what to do... Help!!!

Oh and I guess I'm in extreme amount of depression (I even fit the stereotype of an emo albeit without cutting myself or writing poetry). And I'm way too afraid to tell my parents I'm bisexual (i think I'm crazy and need a therapist but am too afraid to tell them that either). Can someone look at my issues and say what's wrong with me??? (I'm already a social outcast in my life I guess but I'm really really depressed on so many levels)

i think I'm a hopeless case myself so can anyone give me advice?

 

oh I forgot to say thanks to all of you guys with the advice and stories with my friend's suicidal issue. It seems he's doing much better now. He barely talks about suicide and now even has a girlfriend.

 

That's great!

 

Hi again,
I been reading some of the latest post not all cause there soo many...but some are very intersting.....
This not as much of a problem i have in life right now,but what has happen to me over the last 12 years or soo, and how i come out of many situations almost unharm......
To sumarise some of my life before this all happen, I was born in Florida,My parent's got divorse while i was 5,after the divorse, i whent on living whit my gradparent's from the dad's side in mexico, i was raised by my grandparent which i love from the bottom of my heart and more than anything, while living whit them, my grandpa start teaching me in music which he work back then(still does)....at age 12 a recieve a call from my dad which he have allready remarried (3rd time-.-)
Saying that he whana meet me again and if it could be possible and if i liked i could go live whit him, at the moment i ad a diferent idea how my dad was, as soo i went to go live whit him in california, will the first year i spend whit him i got a cruel reality check, i start it to go to school(which i hate btw)...well being back from mexico i ad forget how to speak inglish little own wrigth and stuff...yet i was there going to school like any other children and of course cause i was the foreing kid(ill do i was born in usa) cause i only speak spanish soo i got pick a lot,bully and all the stuff...not only that but my Stepmother never like me to begin whit,soo at any giving oportunity she will try to push me down and all ways saying how she hate it me and all that....in to top ot all up...i learn the my dad wasnt the good of a person that he pretend it to be, he's was a drug addict/alcoholic/smoker
yet in he's good moment's he try to be has good has a father he could be..i guess
the first year i stay whit him and when my grampa return to see how thing's where, he told if i still like to stay and told him not and from then on i travel a lot betwen my year's of 13 to 15.. at age 16 i decide to stay in san diego....and by them i ad better relation whit my dad but not that good since ill do i was still going to school i ad to work to maintain my self since my father couldn it or just give and excuse that i should learn to maintain myself and all that....i dunno if a father should actually tell that to there children yet he did...not to say he's wife still hate's till this day...i ad problem growing up,since i could afford to pay my own rent, i ad to stay in my dad's "friend's" and co-worker's which they used drugs and all of the stuff i have allready mention above....yet i can proudly say that unti this day i have never used drugs......i do drink from time to time but only at party's and sosial event's....but it was harsh, specially if your own dad starts to offer you drugs him self, but i manage to pull out of that, and still when to junior high school...which i got in to many fight's cause of bully's and i tink i grown stronger since my kinder days, but i dont take anything from anyone and im very proud of who and what i im....its been hard growing whit a problematic family like mine,maybe some of you will undestand what it feel... yet i dont feel sry for myself..there have been many times when persons including my own family(dad espesially) tell i could do anything cause i was kindhearted,noble and to good for my own sake sometimes,yet i have proven not to them but to myself that you dont have to be strong to realise what you whant to get what you derserve true pain and hard work.....yet sometimes life does hurt you and sometimes i have feel drepresed....
5 years ago i got together whit a girl from junior high school,we like each other and all that..1 year later we ad baby girl it was the happiest day of my life i forgot everything that ad happen to me in that instant when i grab my child in my hand's and felt her warmt she was soo cute and all.....infotunatly she was born whit respiratory problem's and 8 months later she die cause of her lung problem's and other complication's....i feel horrible cause of this, i start to blame my self for her dead cause it happen while i was working in another city...and start to say if only i could be there i could have change something and i got i bit depress and start to search some1 to blame,the same thing could be said about my girlfriend....at the end we end up seperating ourself's cause we know it wouldt work out even if we try.....3 1/2 year's has pass since that and ill do i cant say the i feel better about it, but i learn many thing from it, it has make me a stronger person in life, yet i dont remember my baby as a bad memory..instead when im down and i bet stress out ill allways see the picture's of my baby girl and see her smile and its like i get my hope's up again and i allways feel better afterwards, i know it might sound silly but i tink shes my guarding angel..... now on day's i spend my life working triying to allways surpase myself if only is little by little, but i know its better this way than do nothing at all.....im a serious person when t come's to open my felling's or in that matter my life but little by little i have starting to open more myself toward's people and to share some of my life in hope's that it will help you and to make more friends and not to be lonely cause its hard being true all this and still feel like you cant trust some is harsh, but because i believe inmyself and allways pushing foward, im proud to say i have plenty of friend's both online, as on real life, i run my own bussines as a musician,i feel very good about it, and even soo my life has been i bit hard i woundt change 1 bit of it....i been happy a lot of time's, i been hurt most time's, but if you dont have good and bad moment's how can you distinguis one from another?
Soo there now you know a little about me, i hope it at least give you some diferent prospective of life.
If you have a question i dot mind answer it. (just not to complicated cause then my head hurts)
Thx for reading (if you did >,,<)

 

To redlion,
As I read your sory I felt like you were an older teenager but as I kept reading, I saw you became so much more, your life has had some cruel turns in it, from drugs to family, it seems bad, but then I read the part about your saughter, it made me weep, and when I finally read how you thought she was 'your guardian angel' I believe that, she is your hope in life, she is what motivates you, she is your happy memory, she would have wanted you to feel happy, so stay happy. You sound like you would have made an fantastic father, just think that you made your time with her the best you could. Your a good man.

I can say thats pretty much your hormones, sexually attracted to rendom people is natural, I can't give advise on what to do about hormones, unless you can control them, which no-one can do with hormones. Sorry. Just look on the bright side of life!

 

Once again Peace and War your insight is very good and sounds useful (I must ask if psycology is something you want to pursue because I advise it due to your excellant talents)

 

Thank you, it is a career i have wished to pursue, and will in the near future, so might aswell make useof my skills here first! :D
Just try and keep going forward in life, I know that its tough but if you make the best out of your time at school it should all end with some really good happy memories!

 

Sry i didnt read it last night but listen(or rather readi it)...like war-and-peace said about hormones its no easy to control or in some cases they cant be control, its changes that every1 goes true.
and no it doesnt make you and out casted or something for that matter, perhaps its going to be hard telling you parent about your tendencies, but that something you yourself gonna have to say for yourself at some point tell them about it...
About this boy...well i can only tell you this,tell him how you feel nothing bad will happen.....if he like's you he will say yes and if not its not the end of the world you know, cause even if he tell you that your not he's type, it wont matter how much you put yourself down cause he wont change the way he he's, not has much as the way you are.....you can never push your self in to a person only because you like him..there as to be mutual felling's other wise youll end up hurting your self even more, soo dont be shy and tell him if he say's no, it does it matter perhaps along the way there will be a better person for you and someone who can understand you for who you are and nothing more, remember you are still young and have plenty of road ahead of you so dont presure yourself soo much ok.....hope i could help you in anyway.

And for War-and-Peace thx a lot man, its hard passing tru all this but, like i said i wouldint change a thing in my life im happy the way i im and how i live soo far and i cant wait for the day of tomorrow.^^
I out for now.

 

I am sorry to hear what you've posted and my heart goes out to you. One of the most painful things for any parent is to lose a child. It is more painful than losing a loved one because that child is a part of you.

Sadly though, that being said, tragedies do happen, and sometimes others will try to automatically say the parent was at fault, and any good parent may also for a while wear that guilt, but sometimes things just do not go the way you would intend them to. You loved this child and did what you could. I know it might not seem like enough and you wish you could find any answer, but at the time there just was not one. It is a horrible feeling to feel that you are incapable and powerless in a situation but sometimes that's the hand we are given.

You are a good person and it is good to remember her with a fondness and appreciate the time you had to spend with her while she was there with you. That is part of the healing process and also shows how much you truly loved your child and still do. You won't forget her. I'd hold that picture in a wallet or wherever and never want to lose it and make more just in case something bad happened to the one. Her death is tragic but she would be happy to know that she is still in your heart and is never forgotten and that you actually -do- remember the times you had together. Believing in yourself and your abilities is a great thing and I wish you some better luck in your future because you've definitely had your time of suffering. Be well and may things look brighter for you. You have the right attitude to help that happen.

As PAW said, we all have to kind of monitor the hormones. We can get attracted to people and one of the most typical but sometimes most empty attractions is to someone who is older than you. This happens for males and females and maybe partially it is because they seem more with it all and well, we as teenagers want to kind of grow up sooner than we should.

I hope you get over your depression and find some joy in your life. You should try to work on that while you are single because if you can be happy when you are single than you will be more content when you actually do get in a relationship. Can you describe what sorts of things there are that make you feel depressed? As teenagers there are a lot of turbulent emotions that stir because of body changes and the whole expectations of growing into adults, but there are walls teens run into as they are not yet adults, but still dealing with issues from before adolescence. In some ways, it can be for some the hardest times of figuring things out and trying to find happiness. If you ever think you might carry out a suicidal thought, then that is your time to ask for help because at that point if you think about it, things can't get much worse for you.

If you want to, feel free to vent here on some of those things that are built up and perhaps that will make you feel better and we have good ears and will offer advice if you want. I hope you feel better about things and you are communicating so that shows you really do want to feel better, even if right now it is difficult.

 

My depression revolves aroun the 90 different people who upset me all the time in one way or another...

However I'm glad for all the advise as it's some things I've never looked at before (believe me I'm so pessemistic I ened up crying because I rented Resident Evil 4 and it wouldn't load...)

I'm changing my life around a bit and I've decided to take some risks.

-I've told my mum about my sexuality (she seems fine with it)

-I've given a poem to the person I love that describes absolutely everything I feel for them.

-I'm going to push through life dealing with all those annoying people who hurt me in every single way possible (I have cuts, bruises and emotional damage from all that but three days off school and it all seems so different)

 

Its good to see that your turning your life around, from now on it can really only get better! You might have your bumps and scratches but if you just keep going on the road your on now, your life will be so much better.
Anymore problems, you have always got us here, we are one big family, here to help each other! :D

 

i have a problem as well.....it's nothing major but i just can't fall asleep at night. dunno why. i'm tired as hell and my eyes sting like when you dont got enough sleep but i just can't lose consciousness. any clues wat to do?

 

When I get really cold I get tired so turn off the heat and if you can heat up your blankets

or get a new mattress

 

how about count sheep. or you can watch the news, that always make me go to sleep.

 

or watch a tv show with no emotions what so ever

ps evilman what time is it at your place cause if its just 9 that would be just outragios