Help with Life

I guess your right.

 

My Heart is broken

Are all the helpers here nonjudgemental?

Well I'm 15 and male and I like somone younger than me (he's two schools years younger than me which means he's 12). Well I'm Bisexual and he's gay (so there is one of the major problems gone). So I went out and had a good time with friends (including the guy I like) so it was me, him and two girls who I'm really good friends with(I trust them completely and they know I like him). I was partially flirting with him durig the day out (nothing obvious except I gave him an affectionate hug goodbye).

And the next school day my friend (one of the girls I trust) tells me he knows I like him and called me a paedophile (behind my back I may add). Whats more interesting is that he likes someone a year older than me who put him down (apparently the guy I like wanted to get into the older guys pants and when he got put down he tried to kill himself by putting his hand over his mouth).

Now he's ignoring and avoiding me.He even went as far as to hide on the floor of a bus he was on that i got on (when I got off he got from under the seats and talked to my friends). and Today he i was getting the bus with three friends and he was going to come along as well but he persuaded one of them to get a different bus than the one I was going to get.

I still like him but I just want him to stop avoiding him (I don't even want him in a mature way I just like him romantically). I'm really depressed and need some advice (and please don't let it be talk to a family relative or get over it).

 

Many peopel her are non-judgemental, I am one of them, if you trust me with sometihng I don't ever abuse something like this, friend! :D

Well thers not a lot you can do to help him like you directly, but if you try finding out what he likes then trying to take or find the same intrest he might get to know you better and maybe even like yo but first just try to like what hel ikes to get to know him.

Apart from that, I warn you and everyone, never tell your friends secrets that they can use against you, trust me when I say its never a good idea, i got in a fight with one of my friends and he told the whole of my school about them, I thankfull y left the school because it was my last year, anyway, never a good idea to tell your friends anything imcriminating. But its alright to tell it here, its not like anyone can use it against you, we don't even know you, so no fear in trsusting us just your friends! :P

 

Thanks Peace and War! I've only ever told my innner most secrets to the people I trust the most (I'm cautious ever since I've been betrayed by someone over 1,000 times literally and he keeps drawing me back in, possibly due to his hypnosis).

I'll try your advice and have a positive outlook on things (sadly my family keep depressing me because I can't live a day without talking to them about my personel life).

 

No prob! Just hope it works! Oh and also you try avoiding him just to change his reaction of you, might calm him down! :D And I know what you mean about the family thing, just try to avoid the talk altogether, its like what I say;
'A smile at everyone you meet just helps the world go round! So show me a smile!'
It really helped me out so should work for everyone! :D But can't gurantee it! :p

 

Yeah stay posative^^

And, sadly, it's human nature to betray people.... Although I have never betrayed one of my friends, they have me...

So do your parents know about your sexuality?

 

No they don't know about my sexuality at all.

 

So the 12 year old is ignoring you because of what happened? He may be embarrassed about the situation to some degree or not sure what he wants, or those friends you were with, their reactions may have unnerved him. He is 12 and you are 15, and though it is 3 years a part, and that may not seem like a lot to you, he is quite a ways from where you are mentally. Even if he likes someone a year older than you, messing with a 12 year old when you are 15 will make you look bad so you want to be very careful with that. Whether gay or straight, there are laws out there that would not allow a 12 year old to date a 15 year old.

Since you say you are interested in him romantically, perhaps the best move here is to try just being his friend to start off with, because you may have made him nervous at the advances of flirting you were doing. Keep in mind most parents also will not want a kid dating at 12, especially to a kid older, so this may also be a concern on his mind. As said, a 15 year old and a 12 year old are not at the same mental level when it comes to these things...and well, being 12, he probably has some restrictions on him. Do his parents know he's gay too?

It's a rough situation so at this point with what I know, I'd say if you care about him, try to become his friend and lay off of the 'flirting' with him so much so you get to know him more. He has some maturing to go through and also being his friend lets him and you have some time to see if you both would actually want to progress into actual dating. If he doesn't want to be your friend, I'm afraid you may have to let this go and try to move on. I know you don't want to hear that but it really is said based on what you said about him seemingly trying to avoid you at the moment. He may calm down if he feels you back off him some, but he also may not and that has to be respected and observed. I wish you luck with this and hope things work out.

 

So my girlfriend just broke up with me and allthough the idea of killing myself is extremely appealing, i'm guessing there's other, better ways to get through this.

any ideas?

 

don't worry.

when my bf broke up with me 4 months ago, I wanted to kill myself, but instead, you need to find a hobby, or something. Get your mind off her. If she breaks up with you, that means that there is a reason. Don't worry about that. Just worry about you right now. If you want you can talk to me about anything and I'll be happy to help =D

 

Sorry to hear that. It sucks when that happens, but perhaps I can try to tell you something someone told me long ago that had helped me whenever these things come to pass.

One thing is that if you and this girl really did nothing 'wrong' to each other, like cheating, being mean to each other etc, sometimes feelings change or just aren't as mutual as we like them to be. It doesn't mean either person is bad..you or her. It just means that you both aren't meant to be together as possibly more than friends, at least at the time being. So, if you did nothing really wrong, and you just aren't meshing on that higher level than friendship, things don't have to look so bleak for you.

Couples often have issues with one another that can be pretty petty but when the feelings change or just aren't as present anymore in one person, the other person, even though it sucks, has to realize that this love needs let go, so she can be happy and you can. Though it hurts very badly, would you want to stay with someone who wasn't 'in love' with you? You'd probably be much happier with a person who you can give and receive love from, rather than someone who you just cling to for affection, right? A new person will come along when you have healed up your heart and taken time for yourself. It is normal, sadly, that we don't always find the 'love of our lives' on the first few tries. It helps later in life, even though it's a pain in the rump, to learn more tolerance, when to hang on, and when to let go. That way you can be honest with yourself and the significant other and listen to one another's feelings.

I hope you feel better and yes, I don't know anyone who actually -cared- about another person in a break up that probably doesn't want to at first just jump off a freaking bridge. I've been there too. But instead of you dying, all that is being needed here is a change in life. I suggest you take the time to mourn a bit, and then try calling up friends to go do some things, get some video games or whatever and try to have fun with life being single again when you are ready. Your self-confidence will return and you won't forget your relationship like some people say. Perhaps you can do yourself the biggest favor by not holding grudges, but instead remembering the good times, so someday you'll be ready for a new relationship to have great times with someone else. Also, if I upset you here mentioning about 'someone else' I am dreadfully apologetic. I don't know the whole scene so whatever the case may be, just no dying!

 

Thanks.

And i had like 100 bucks saved up for doing stuff with her so i'm gonna go buy some videogames so i don't have to think about her right now.

 

see!? something good came outta this ^_^

 

About the GF dilemma...

Dont sweat about it. Its only life to live and learn what happens to us. No killing yourself -.- If you are really feeling that upset about it, talk to your friends about it. Most likely they've been through some of the same things and will have some advice. And getting the video games is a good idea. It will keep your mind off of her will doing something you love. ^^

 

Oh, wow. I just talked to her about it for like an hour and i'm actually feeling a whole lot better.

 

Well, guess I was too late to help, hope it turns out better, anyway, suicide is never the answer over just one person, even if you love them is not smart, you've got loads of things ahead of you anyway! Suicide is never the bet answer, but its not the worst either!

To, Califa630, you really just need to act more like a friend then let a relationship grow like Repliku was saying, mu ch better that way! :)

 

Thanks you guys.

I wasn't really myself this morning, but i'm doing better now. Thanks for all your help.

 

No problem, and I'm glad you are feeling better. As I said, anyone who -cares- will feel depressed like that, but that stage passes. Good luck to you and go get those video games. =:)

 

What the hell?

So i told this one girl sara broke up with me and without pausing or anything she starts trying to get me interested in one of her friends! and another girl is like planning to ask me out soon.

They don't get it, how stupid they're being. They probably think they're helping somehow, but no, they're just making me feel worse.

Besides, i liked sara since Sixth grade, and they just think i'm going to drop her and go out with them? What the hell?

 

Okay, I have a problem. I'm a typical fifteen year old boy...with a crush. She says she has a boyfriend, but she likes ME! We started to talk for a couple of days to get to know eachother better, and then this BOZO came out of NOWHERE! It was her boyfriend. He threatened my well being and said if he ever caught me talking with her again...that I'd regret it! Yet, this girl KEEPS sending me texts and stuff saying she likes me, but is in love with her boyfriend. Keep in mind that I'm ONLY fifteen and SHE'S seventeen with a nineteen year old boyfriend! She's REALLY starting to make my emotions twist and turn! I'm confused...

What do I do?