Help with Life

lol, **** them, vanity is important in a way, but don't let them take over you with the shrill comments, your you, don't change for anyone, but yourself.

Tell your parents this:

" Mom, Dad, KH isn't just a game, ITS A WAY OF LIFE "

p.s. don't say that or they WILL take you off :D

 

yushe\sora: If you don't want to try a new hair style, then try and ignore them, no getting mad, sad or anything like that. Bullies usually like to try and annoy people so don't try and be annoyed by them and after a while they will leave you alone.
For KH try and tell your parents that it is just something you like and should respect you.
This is just advise you can take it or not.

 

Just remember trying doing get you anywhere, you have to DO it, trying is for those in denial or in restraint. Believe in yourself to DO, not try.

 

THANKS :D ur awesome!!!

 

Verbal Defense

I'll give out a few tips on verbal defense:

Verbal defense is like martial arts; you must know what move to use, and you must use it at the right time, or you'll be open to the attacker.

There are three different reactions to verbal attacks. Here's an example of each of them being used:

Attacker - "Everyone knows you have a 'problem'. You're just gay (usually meaning "stupid" these days) and we feel sorry for you."

The "Blamer" response - Making fists and making angry body movements while saying, "Shut up! You're the gay one!"

The "Leveler" response - Gestures may vary. Saying, "I might be. But so what? There are other people who you can call gay."

The "Computer" response - No gestures at all and keeping a straight face, "How kind of everyone to be concerned. I'm touched" Then sit back (if you're on a chair, of-course) and look at the attacker in the eyes, looking interested.

Which one of those sounds more clever to you? Computer mode is the best way to avoid bullies and other verbal attackers and it's the best way to avoid physical attacks. When someone starts verbally attacking you and you go into blamer mode and start getting all angry and blaming other people, the conversation will get worse. The attacker is normally someone who wants attention (even though they won't admit it), and responding in blamer mode gives them what they want - attention. A conversation that won't get anywhere is two arguing blamers. Leveler mode is slightly safer and can get you out of things quickly, usually. And it'll either be the safest, or the most dangerous way out of arguments depending on the argument itself. Now computer mode is the key out of things. You know that computers don't have feelings and never use "I". They also can't use gestures. When you respond in computer mode, never try to use "I" or involve yourself in your come-backs unless you're saying something like "Actually, I would imagine the situation to be more...". In computer mode, the attacker will not get your attention and think in his/her mind that you're not the type of person that will work for him/her and he/she will most likely walk off dissapointed.

When someone starts to attack you verbally, go straight into computer mode and maintain it until the attacker gives up. You must never change your gesture and keep completely calm and relaxed (like a Nobody) throughout the whole conversation. After responding in computer mode, sit back and wait. Usually, the attacker trying to fight back with insults then would make him or her look foolish. Never show weakness.

Here are the steps:

1.) Identify the attacker and know his or her style of attacking
2.) Identify the subject of the attack being used
3.) Go into computer mode
4.) Maintain computer mode

Here are 10 examples (from easiest to counter, to hardest to counter)

1.) "You're not the only person with power you know!"

Computer - "You're absolutely right."

2.) "If you really like me, you would've gotten me a calculator for the test."

Blamer - "You don't love me."

Computer - "Why?" or "When did you get the impression (try to avoid using the word "ever") that I didn't care about your progress?" or "You should study the basics before getting into the big stuff. Let's get started..."

If you say the third line, the person would probably then say, "Oh, never mind!" then walk off.

3.) "Even girls should be able to change tires, you know!"

Blamer - "You are a girl."

Computer - "The idea that men are more compatible than women is a fascinating one."

4.) "You're having affairs behind my back, aren't you?!"

Computer - "You know, it's amazing that so many girls these days are having feelings that their boyfriends are having affairs behind their backs."

The person would then get surprised and probably be ashamed and will try to change the subject.

5.) "You should care about us! We're much tougher than you and we deserve your respect! Everyone knows that!"

Blamer - "You don't care about me."

Computer - "It's not every day that I meet a person knowledgable to know that fact." or "That would include me, then. I know that."

6.) "You should care about other people. You're an awful person not to."

Blamer - "You don't care about other people."

Computer - "Which anti-poverty center would you be talking about? The Southeast Welfare Community, or Nurturecare?"

7.) "You have no friends and you're weird and you suck everyone knows that."

Blamer - "Don't you care about my feelings?! I should have much more than you 'cause I'm a better person inside!"

Computer - "I'd like to thank everyone who was concerned. I'm touched" or "It's very gratifying to hear that" or "What a list! It's nice to have a great messenger-boy who has a great memory and would give up his time as a popular person to tell me these understanding facts! Like to buy a comma?"

8.) "Man, you are so bad at that performance."

Blamer - "I bet you couldnt've done better." or "Let's see you do better."

Computer - "It's 'you were so bad at that performance' please learn to get you're words right."

9.) "Your problems are, of-course, apparant. You've gotta get a life and stop being such a loser."

Computer - "I understand you're concerns completely and you've got a great life ahead of you if you continue to be so understanding to others"

"I don't think you understand what I'm trying to say to you."

Computer - "That is, of-course, possible."

10.) "You ate without me?! How could you?! You know how angry I am now?!

Computer - "I wouldnt've eaten with you if I knew you were angry."

And there you have it. This is my greatest advice to you if you ever get verbally attacked :)!

 

^ Amazing advice. Nicely written.^

I've got a little problem here...I was in a relationship with a guy about a year ago, and we kinda had abit of a falling out and I made it clear that I was moving on. (And, of course, leaving him behind.)

The problem is...he won't leave me alone. I've told him repeatedly that it's over and has been that way for a while, but he keeps clinging to me like nothing ever happened. To be honest, it completely disgusting...and then he decides to go all submissive and act weird whenever we interact. I'm not willing to go back into that relationship, and I want to know what I should do without hurting his feelings. Help?!

 

okay...


my sister kept me up ALL night...the computer is in my room, but shes grounded from the internet...So she snuck on...I woke up EVERY SINGLE HOUR kicking her out of my room...and she just won't stay out...so I'm not abkle to sleep at night...

 

~Koneko~
Try and make your relationship with him a little less active, if not try and distract him from you but that might be harder.

Rikus#1fangirl
Either tell your parents or get a lock for your door. Another idea would be to take the internet line from your computer and the phoneline, give it to your parents at night and get int in the day. Then she should stop trying.

Mikuro
What I meant was that if the advice doesn't work out the way you wanted it to, you can not blame us for giving advice that you had taken.

 

Help here My mom told me she going to have a baby I'm right now unsure what to do can anyone tell me what to do

-merged with the proper 'help with life' thread-

 

Well, first of all, generally react on how you feel about this...that's just a suggestion.

Second of all, I think this should go in the Help with Life thread.

 

Hm..
is it okay if I help too?

 

i recommend telling your parents how you feel about this, getting youre feelings out in the open usually helps you feel better, and it will help your parents with there decision, because your parents genuinly care about how you feel about this. at the very least it will help them make the deision of weather or not they should, all parents take the chilrens well-being, happiness and safety nto almost every decision they make....

 

Well I'd imagine that having a little brother or sister around isn't a bad thing. It's just something you have to deal with. All it means is that you're going to have to be a little more independent.

 

I need somebody to talk to. I'm afraid I have just lost the best thing that has ever happened to me. And the best thing that ever will. I lover her with all my heart and never will stop but I'm getting a bit worried. If you wanna talk add me to MSN.

 

Well what did you do to make her upset?

 

More detail is needed if you want more help from all of us.

 

I feel no one has posted here in forever.......I guess no one has problems!!!!

 

Everyone hates me even on here...

 

Hate?!
I don't hate anyone on here, (Maybe Boris) you must have loads of friends here and in real life, your good person, I like you!

Isn't that a good thing?

 

I dont hate you

T_T