I haven't gotton much... I'm up to a chorus, and a few lines after, I'm stuck. I need some help to finish it. Well, here is the unfinished copy... When you love me.... You say you're an angel from heavens above What about me? I think you're the fire from Hell's below Can you see me? I'm dripping tears that temptation left behind ^ That's stayng the way that it is!^ Where are my strings? You left them with Hell that you burned to the sky Where will you go? You've eaten temptation and now you fall Fall to the Earth where everything is wrong "Adam, where have you gone?" Cries the angel known as God "Eve, quiet your tears... Adam will soon be here!" The Angel's smile The Devil's lips Only parting for our first kiss You've eaten the stars and all that you see Is the Darkness's property! So now we rest, Inside of our pain, This suffering will still remain, From darkness falls the sin we've birthed, A lie is born sent up to earth... "Adam, where have you gone?" Cries the angel known as God "Eve, quiet your tears... Adam will soon be here!" And that's it... It's not supposed to be religious in any way..... But it somehow got to that. And if you find this offending, then don't abuse it... It's my first song.
Nuuuuu don't bump threads >.> I love the first verse... you're right about that not needing editing. The one part that sounds a little iffy is the first three lines after the the part you liked. I need to think on how you can edit those. Otherwise, it's very nice. I like this a lot.
So now we rest, Inside our pain, This suffering will still remain, From darkness falls the sin we've birthed, A lie is born sent up to earth... ^---I don't know D: