Hating emotions

If someone is too happy they are called crazy and looked down on them as if they are nothing.
If someone is too unhappy they are called 'emo' (sorry about that I couldn't think of anything else to say)
And if someone cries for no reason they are called a wuss.

But why? why do we push people away who show what emotion they are feeling to much, I admit if people over do it with what ever they're feeling it makes me feel uneasy, but shouldn't we just let each other show how we feel no matter how much we want to do it.

Let people be crazy with joy.
Understand why someone is unhappy and help them be happy.
Give people who are in sorrow a shoulder to cry on.

Because all in all we DO need emotions no matter what.

So my question is, how much do you let people you know show there emotions?

 

for me anyone could go from whatever to anything, if that makes sense.
I just let eople do what they do without letting them get hurt, I mean, if someones crying I'll make them happy or better, if they are too happy i'll probably join in, and anything else I'd probably just makr the best out of the situation.

 

I don't think normally people 'hate' emotions and displays of them. It's more likely, at least for me, that when someone is being over-emotional and extreme all the time, it gets old. Especially when they are doing it for attention.

I don't call someone 'emo' unless I see a habit of them always being negative, pessimistic, drawing attention to themselves, and showing no concern for others and their problems. Those kind of people like that can be very irritating because they constantly try to drag me into their dramas and they usually aren't as bad as what is going on in my life or others I know with serious issues. We are all given different levels of willpower to cope with life, but these people will just suck the life out of you if you give in to catering and all. It's an extreme amount of negativity.

If someone is really angry often and aggressive, it's another extreme. Who wants to be around someone that is threatening, beating on things or people etc? It's a natural response for people to want to get away from these sorts of folks because being around them is likely to get you hurt. Those who stick with these people often end up with low self-esteems and depression because very little gets through someone's head if he or she is furious often.

If someone is over-elated and jumping around it reminds me of a big dog versus a little puppy. Even a dog will sit there and look at a yapping bouncing around puppy with eyes that say 'cut it out'. This another extreme emotion and there's nothing wrong with being happy, but often those who are super happy are getting all up in other people's faces, jumping around and doing things to others, not caring about what they are doing.

If someone is sad, happy, angry, etc, there's nothing wrong with that. It's when someone is 'extreme' and others are 'forced' to take part and notice and their lives are affected negatively from it that people get annoyed. We all feel many emotions each day so I don't see anyone really hating emotions in themselves unless they are pretty jaded. It's more like no one really wants to deal with the overload of someone being in an emotion that others -have- to be dealing with too because when someone is in an extreme emotion, they are not paying attention to others around them and sometimes just don't see what they do. That's my take on it any way, and how I generally feel about it. Emotions in themselves are fine things and part of our lives.

 

I agree. All crazy people, such as myself, should be happy.
Help the unhappy people be happy.
And help people deal with their problems.

I personally let everyone be themself aslong as they don't start messing with me and my friends. Sadly, the #1 thing ur world needs is understanding people, with is something we don't exactly have.

 

My guess is that there are some moments where it's the 'wrong place, wrong time' type of thing. I mean, if I'm down and depressed about something, seeing people overjoyed kind of makes it worse for me, and I try to avoid those people. Not saying it's wrong or anything, just that it's not what I need at the moment.

You have a point though, there shouldn't be restraints on a person expressing themselves through emotion, but at the same time the person shouldn't overdo it. There are limits to what other people can take and sometimes that needs to be taken into consideration. But also, that doesn't mean they should be silenced because people don't agree with them.

 

As someone who often gets called "immature" or "stupid" just because I am happy a lot of the time and prone to bursts of hyperness, then I can see where you are coming from xD

I let people express their emotions in the way that works best for them, at the end of the day,each person is the only one who can say how they act, all anyone else can do is give help and support.

The only emotion I do not like being overly displayed is anger, when my friends are angry I try to calm them down as IMO anger often leads to stupidity. However in those cases, we talk through the problems xD not supress them.

Let people be how they want to be, if you try to supress their emotions merely because it "annoys" you then you could be doing damage to them without realising it xD

I am happy and hyper because it is one of the best ways I deal with the problems I have. Emotions run deep and can't always be taken at face value, so let people express them how they want, as long as they are safe. ​

 

That's reasonable. I'm genetally the same way, ezcept I'm highly prone to anger and other emotions related to it.

 

I'm usually caterogorized (sorry can't spell) as stupid since I am sometimes happy. But if I'm sad, trust me you'll know. It just doesn't make any sense now...

 

I hear where your coming from, but whenever I'm overly happy, sad, whatever, it's usually damaging to the people around me, or I myself get hurt in the process, so I try and hold it back a smidge. You have good points though, don't get me wrong, it's just not how I'm able to do it.

 

Well it seems you are fine with letting someone be anything but expressing anger, really. So that is kind of not fair really. In the end if someone is expressing things to the point of being over the top and it takes over what others want to feel or do, it is rude regardless. Whether someone is being depressed, exuberant, furious etc, if someone is dominating an area with their emotion, they expect others to take notice of them.

This isn't to say it never should be done or won't. Of course people should display what they feel. However, they should also understand that if it is unbearable to others, others have the right to walk away or wish they'd calm down too. It's really a two-way street here called both sides should be 'considerate' of others and how they feel, instead of always thinking about how they feel themselves.

Someone who is depressed and glaringly showing it at someone's wedding is going to be just not in the right place doing that. Someone at a dance club who is furious is going to be out of place compared to those who are there to be happy and have fun. Someone who is giggly and making a fool of themselves at a funeral is in the wrong place for that. Someone who acts weak and pathetic at a rock concert with a bunch of hardcore rockers...same diff.

I think that's where mostly these emotional things go wrong. It's when people do the wrong acts or try to be overly emotional in the total opposite emotion of the area they are in and ambiance. Of course there are jerks out there who are sensitive to people who feel anything different than they do or are party poopers etc so for them, too bad.

 

I hate my emotions because I have got a problem in my life. Just sharing it with other people makes me think I'm weak. But at least I'm getting some help with a counselor.

So far I hate to have a bond with other people because I know I will lose them. And it already happened to me so that's why I don't like about it. Just between now and then scares me.

 

I understand that for some bizarre reason. I think everyone I know feels the same way, but I learn to deal with the ironic suffering and go on with my life.

 

Well, My opinion In this Is, people get annoyed and call other people 'Emo' or 'Stupid' or a 'wuss' because really, they want to act 'cool'. This world Is getting worse, each and everyday because of T.V, Movies, Internet (Not saying that you guys do this) and much much more, basically saying that we should treat other people like ****. And really, teenagers now are taking drugs, smoking, dropping out of school and ruining their lives! The stupid people who don't like emotions, Isn't just because they don't like someone being Happy, Sad or Crying, Its because they don't want that person to be different, they want that person to be like them and the rest of those stupid copy cat people.

Basically they are scared to stand out, and so they put other people down for doing It. Its stupid, cruel and wrong and I believe someone should SHARE their feelings with other people, because If no one does that, what will this world become?

 

No I don't think it is that at all for most people. Generally people just can't handle other people's emotions. They don't know how to react. So they try to stop them from expressing their emotions so they don't have to deal with them. I know if a friend came to me and burst into tears I wouldn't really know what to do, it would scare me. People don't like feeling scared =/ Especially when they have no control over it.

Also when someone sees an emotion expressed by someone else it causes them to confront the emotion in themselves, maybe one they have been ignoring or one they didn't even know was there.

It all comes down to fear and ignorance in the end IMO

*was probably talking out of his backside* >_>

 

I have no problem with people expressing anger, what I object to is when that anger manifests into something physical that can hurt others, voicing anger, I have no issue with, hurting people because you let it get the better of you? I have a major issue with that.

I disagree, IMO it is not always easy to tell when you are being “over the top†so if you are unaware of it then it can hardly be deemed a cry for attention, also, some people just have the kind of nature which makes them express themselves in that way. I also think that different people have different ideas of what is tolerable or not, so what I may think is too much, someone else may think is actually not that over the top. As there is no level measure of emotion then it is difficult for people to bear everyone in mind.

Surely then, those who walk away and/or dislike the show of emotions must also be expected to show a level of tolerance, by saying that the person should think about how others feel and not just themselves, well they have a right to their emotions too. Why should they have to watch how they express them? Is it fair for them to suppress themselves to allow others to have their way?

I am sorry, but I strongly disagree with what you are saying there, human emotion is, as I am sure you are aware, unpredictable, you cannot control your emotions to only suit the context you are in, for example; the person who giggles at a funeral, some people deal with grief through humour, it is how they cope. The person who is furious in a Dance Club? Well I don’t know about the clubs where you live, but over here I have never yet been out when someone hasn’t ended the night furious and pissed off. Weddings is another one, you can guarantee there will always be someone unhappy at a wedding, they are emotional events, so people’s feelings will be everywhere, they make people reflect on their own life and happiness, again I think it is understandable.

You can’t always act in a way appropriate to the surroundings, life doesn’t work like that, and human nature doesn’t work like that. People who “deliberately†try to ruin an atmosphere are in the wrong, but people who are genuinely feeling the way they do shouldn’t have to hide it. As someone who has suffered with depression, I can tell you that suppressing your emotions in order to keep the peace is not the right thing to do; it can do more damage in the long run to hide things.

I apologise if I have just spoken in circles =/ I hope what I said made sense. I do respect your points and I am not dispting the validity of your argument, I just think you seem to imply that emotion should be controlled and disciplined. It is the Spontaneity of it that makes us Human.​

 

Well,it totally depends on someone character.We can't see a person in the same way,so everyone has his way of judging.I personally try to be compassionate and friendly,but sometimes when someone get's tiring i prefer to tell it to him.Now for the emotion thingy,I don't think that it is normal for someone to be either too happy,or too sad.Humans have mixed feelings which they should show wherever the have to,and not always.

 

That's fine. Just saying that you seemed to put out that 'anger' is the only emotion there you had a problem with people expressing. I have no problem with it unless they are going to hurt themselves or someone else. People 'fear' hatred and anger. They tend to naturally shy away from it or become hostile themselves. It is though, a part of life and I get angry as much as the next person. I try to make it short though because I don't like it as much as others don't.

It is not 'always' easy to tell when you are being "over the top". However, paying attention to 'others' helps. If someone is just focusing on expressing his/her zealous emotion of the moment and spreading that around, that person cannot pay attention to anyone else. It is not 'always' going to happen that you or I or anyone can always catch ourselves doing things that harm others or offend them. Sometimes, people need a shocker anyway. Paying attention to others though is important. Otherwise it is kind of selfish. Some people tend to whine they can't control their emotions at all. I disagree with that. You cannot always control what they do, but you can focus on what it is 'you do' when super emotional to others. The more you care about others, the more you can develop and express emotions so they aren't harmful to them or yourself.

I just said if someone is too sensitive to the person displaying a torrent of emotions they cannot themselves see dealing with, they should have the right to leave and get out of the path of it. What is exactly wrong with that? Are you telling me that because someone is running crazy with his/her feelings, people should have to stand there and take it when more of them are being hurt or dragged into it? That totally cancels out your argument, if so.

Just as you or anyone is allowed to display emotions, others will ALWAYS have 'some' reaction to it. This will be favorable sometimes and other times, no it will not be. You can't control anyone's emotions but your own. It is impossible. People can motivate others to feel a certain way but if they have a willpower, they aren't going to just give in. Having respect of emotions, as I said last post, is a two-way street. You can't force your emotions on others and expect them "ALL" to just accept it. If they leave, it's a sign you are doing too much for those particular people. If they stay and get in the mood you are, well, you aren't. As you pointed out, it depends on the people and their frame of mind at the time. I have respect for others emotions as well as my own. I acknowledge if I'm depressed continuously, no one is going to want to deal with that. If I'm too hyper for them, they may be like 'wtf' and head for the hills too, and if I'm angry, people are going to want to leave if they aren't mutual in that.

Human emotion is not so unpredictable if you study yourself and those around you and ask questions to yourself and to others. My point was not to say that a person will -not- feel those things I listed. My point was that others may 'disagree' strongly with such a display of behavior 'at those events'. Does it happen? Sure. I don't cry at funerals and people thought I was very cold at a couple of them so I stopped going to them because others were upset at my reaction. When people were angry at a dance club, most of us tried to calm the person but eh, if it didn't work, we were there to party. I did not say it was not understandable or it wasn't going to happen. The point was that people WILL react to what someone does and it's not going to be as predictable as knowing your 'own' reactions and you have to deal with it as much as someone else has to deal with your emotions. NO ONE has control over what someone else thinks or feels. Confusion of emotion is one of the leading causes of miscommunication and fighting. You entirely missed the issue here I was pointing out.

In the end, what you do in a scene like that is what is going to make people have opinions of you. The person may 'laugh at a funeral' but at the same time, why are they there then if others obviously are not and it's going to cause some fight? Surely said person would realize OTHER PEOPLE's emotions and have some taste and hold back some of their witty repertoire? But you are saying they have NO control. I disagree. We can all curb our outward demeanors. Otherwise, we'd all be in a lot more trouble in society than we are.

I can tell you that no, you cannot always act appropriate to surroundings again. That 'appropriate' depends on the crowd you are dealing with. I did NOT say anyone "HAD" to hide their emotions. I said that people should accept the fact that even as they 'show' their true emotions, OTHERS don't have to deal with the particular display of them if they don't feel like it. It seems very wrong to me that people just expect others to just say 'oh well' and sit there and change their emotions to fit the needs of 1 person or 3 when those few are the minority.

There are SEVERAL ways to express emotions and part of changing and gaining control is learning how to do that so it does not harm yourself or others around you and yet you express the same feelings. That is not suppressing anything, but instead adapting. We do that all through our lives from being little children, teens. and adults. You don't obviously do the same behavior you did as a little kid when someone gets you sad or mad or happy...do you? I would think not.

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No need to apologize. I do get what you are saying and it was well said. You bring up points and I appreciate them and they are important for me to see. I think you misread some of my intentions though or I did not put forth the proper effort to make them clear. When dealing with 'emotional' discussions, these things happen. =:)

I just want to say that emotional growth as well as thought growth in a rational manner are things that change and expand if we study and examine them in ourselves and others. What you feel now may be the same as what you feel 5 years from now, but how you express that may be different. That is part of learning to be a good 'social' being, which by nature we humans are. Being 'you' is important but at the same time learning to adapt to expression of emotion in a way that won't ostracize you is also key to growth. You don't have to 'hide' anything but at the same time, there is a level of adaptation here to the crowd you are in and the friends you make. The life long friends are going to be those that accept you but also you grow together because no one remains the same forever. There's even a post in this forum section asking what changed in the way people thought from 3 years ago.

 

Ok reading through your reply cleared things up for me xD I can see your point about people keeping some control over their emotions :P I thought you were saying that it was all easy to keep locked. Hmmm it would be nice if a balance could be formed, and in an ideal world that would be possible =/

I wasn't saying that people shouldn't be allowed to object or leave when someone elses emotions got the better of them :P I was saying that bith sides have equal rights ^^

...I actually can't think of anything else to say 0.0 and you have no idea how rare that is for me :P

You gave a pretty much excellent answer.​

 

I get what you were saying too. As I said, I think that I just wasn't coming across very well and that happens when we discuss such personal issues as 'emotions' because we all are going to react. You are speechless! I'm so having bragging rights or something about that. =:)

 

THANK YOU! :roll: I'm not the only one who thinks that! For me, I try to (whether I want to or not) stand out as much as I can. Good thing about that is I'm still me, and not someone esle.