My first (and probably only) fanfiction...Uh, it's about Namine, and it's rather short. Beware, I use a super strange writing style -- A heck of a lot of italics, too. I suppose you could consider it a onsided Namiora, if you...Squint. Okay, not really. I'll quit babbling so you can read. Oh, and one more thing, I avoid her name for most of the story on purpose o.o;;. -CHAIN OF MEMORIES SPOILERS- [G I F T E D ~] Namine Written by Stardust -Count down to begin - Five Four Three Two. . . She was gifted. Not that she cared; she wanted to care, and she was so close to grasping the feeling of caring… But there was always that last inch… She hated him for it – No, she thought she hated him for it, she fooled herself. That last inch, that last gap between her and emotion. That last fragment between existence and Nobody, nothing. It tore her apart from the inside out, slowly eating away at her nonexistence. She couldn’t stand it. She couldn’t, but she had to. And the only thing that could save her…The only person that could save her… [It’s time for you to remember now.] Slowly, she picked up the black pastel with a pale, shaking hand. This was her gift – making things come to life on paper, as they shouldn’t be. As an illusion. Its color bled onto the white paper, smooth and dark, almost hypnotizing. She felt herself smiling slightly as an N began to form on the paper, in his memory, in his consciousness. Slowly, she began to embed herself into his mind, into his heart, the first move in this brutal game of chess. He was just a pawn, a sacrifice. The pastel came to a stop, screeching slightly against the paper, as she finished the letter. She inspected her work slowly, making sure that all her lines were straight, that all of her work was perfect. One slip up, one mistake, and she would destroy his heart completely. Not that she wasn’t going to do that later, anyway. She began on the A, the links in his memories – his heart -- falling apart to create room for a new one – A new lie, she thought, another game with him. The M began to form, and then the I, perfectly symmetrical and parallel. She could almost hear him, speaking, murmuring… ”Nam – Nami…” The next N. She pressed the pastel harder against the paper, biting back several tears. She wasn’t sad, no, she was just… E, the last letter. But it wasn’t the last lie, it wasn’t the last game. It was just the beginning. [Don’t you remember me…? Sora?] ”…Nami…” ”Yes, yes, that’s right! Free the memory from your heart!” ”…Namine.” As his name formed on her lips, her name did on his, and the tears fell – clear, crystalline, nothing. The pastel snapped under the pressure, leaving a long, jagged smear trailing down from her E. And she cried, because she messed up, because she lied. She heard the door swing open, quiet footsteps echoing on the white marble floor. She drew in a sharp breath, and then -- ”Well done, Namine. He’s remembered.” Namine looked at her name, a teardrop falling and splattering on the white paper, narrowly missing her A. And with that, she lied again. ”I’m glad.” Because she’s a liar – a witch, because she’s Namine, because she’s G i f t e d. But a gift is a heavy burden. Fin. ~ Welll...I'd love to hear what you think of it. It's my first time, so go easy on me D:.
Awwwwwwwww...poor Namine has to use her awsomely pwn witchy gifted powers for evil.... For your first fanfic, That was REALLY REALLY GOOD! At least compared to mine.. *pokes siggy* You did a nice job of describing things i could really feel the drawing, but it would have helped if you described the room too. I pictured it as the white room, but you might wanted to have described it. Good job and keep on writing!
Wow. I thought it was great. IT all tied together and you ended it perfectly. Good job! =D ~~~ A guess the room describe would have been nice... oh well. ~_~
Ho...ly... Shnapplez... @_@ THIS IS AMAZING! =O ESPECIALLY for your first fanfic! ...................... *cough* Mine was... Pretty bad... XD; *hides it from prying eyes* >.> <.<; Anyways... I loved your description (though 01_Kairi was right - a description of the room would have been nice. =3), and I actually liked your unique writing style. It gave the story a certian.... ...................... You know what I mean. XDDD If you ever make another fanfiction, consider me a fan. ^-^
This is an absolutely gorgous story. You're writing style is one to be reckoned with. I just love how you describe things and give them a life of their own. I've always been a big fan of Namine's story, and she just always intrigued me. This story helps bring her more to a fan's understanding. She seems a bit more human than she really is. Once again, I really love this story. Please make more!
That was so beautiful! I loved the way you wrote and described everything. Yeah... maybe the others are right: the room description would have been nice, but I didn't miss that too much, the story was so great. I don't want to push you or anything but if you want to write more fanfictions, write. That's if you want to not if... okay, you know what I mean...
That was excellently written. I'd like to say that it was the best I've seen here in recent times.(I don't remember anything but recent times.) I really liked that it wasn't so very driven by anything spectacular happening, it was driven by the idea and phrasing of the piece. The whole thing had this appeal, it was the descriptions (no of what happened) but of what was... um, I forgot the word. I guess I could say it was the emotional attachment between characters underneath the surface. No, not exactly that. Oh well I'll think of what I meant later. Nice work.
Okay, I'll give you that. But still(I'll explain if anyone actually does get pissed(I don't see why anyone'd care what I have to say though))) I don't look at different types of stories i the same categories so I don't put them under the same kinda view thing. Comedy, serious, soap, they all go into different categories and cannot be mingled. So I may say this but it can only pertain to one category. So you get it.
Yeah, I figured. XDDDDD I just... Ya know... HAD to... ._.; .............................. *cracks up for no apparent reason* XDDDDDDD Oh boi... Too much chocolate... -_-;
It was good, but I didn't understand what the purpose was. Also, I had a hard time understanding who that person was, and also, picturing all the people in general. For a firdt time, it was great, thoguh. I'd give you a 4/5
