Chapter 1: Awakening Just for everyone's information,i'm not actually posting anymore of this story until i have AT LEAST completed half of it. This is purely a preview of what is to come. And when i DO post more, i will post it in a seperate thread. Though constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. The Nobody’s eyes opened. A deep blue colour, they were identical to his other’s. He sat up on the bed he had been sitting on and looked across at the mirror that was on his wall. He looked at his short, dark brown, slightly spiked hair and his pale skin. He also noticed that he was dressed in a long black coat, with silver zippers. Interesting design, he thought to himself. “You’re finally awake. Good, things were getting boring. We finally get a new Nobody in the ranks, and they decide to put me of all people on surveillance duty. I’m just not cut out for all this waiting†a voice said. The Nobody turned to look at who had spoken. The man had blonde, spiked hair, emerald eyes, and was wearing a black coat similar to his own. “Who are you?†the Nobody asked. “Name’s Demyx†Demyx responded. “Where is this place? Why am I here?†the Nobody questioned. “Slow down with the questions!†Demyx replied. He took a breath. “This place is the castle of boredom, meeting ground for all Nobodies. And you’re here because the big man decided that we could use you†Demyx replied. There was one further question that the Nobody felt he had to ask. “Who am i?†he asked. Demyx let out a small laugh. “You don’t know who you are?†he asked. The Nobody shook his head. “No, not at all†he replied. Demyx sighed. “Geez… well Xemnas said your other’s name was Glen†he said, letting his voice trail off. The Nobody stood up. “Then I’ll go see Xemnas to see what he can tell me†he stated. Demyx held out a hand. “No way,that’s a no go. You’ve got to be officially welcomed into the Organisation before you can even consider trying to see Xemnas. Oh that reminds me!†he exclaimed. “Reminds you of what?†The Nobdy asked. “No time to explain, just follow me!†Demyx said as he began running towards a large room.
this sounds like a really good read!!! But one critisism I don't thin other Nobodies know the 'others name' unless the knew each other from before.... and don't forget the Nobody anagram system for names lol otherwise I want to read more SOON!!!
Took both into consideration. The thread is called Gexln's story for a reason XD and i realise they couldn't know the other's name unless they knew each other from before,so that just hints at something :P but thanks for reading it lol
Okay I really like this (even if it is just a preview) I would love to see how this ends up. I do think you should post the story (whenever you are ready) in this thread however so as not to consume more space on the server. I saw a few errors like you misspelled the word organization towards the end, but I am sure they will be fixed in the final draft. Other than that it was a great preview and now has me waiting for more. Can't wait ^_^
I liek it! I wanna read moar!I like how you've got most of Demy's diolauge down perfectly, although he sound a liiittlle bit like Xigbar. But meh, it could be just me. o3o Heh this kind of reminds me of this HUGE KH FF that me and my other 2 friends did. Over 500 pages of our original character's lives in the Org.XIII! D: We compleated it and think we're gonna make another. :3
