Gaston

For there's no man in town half as manly

 

Perfect, a pure paragon

 

You can ask any Tom, **** or Stanley

 

And they'll tell you whose team they'd prefer to be on

 

No one's been like Gaston

 

A king pin like Gaston

 

No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston

 

As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating

 

My- what a guy, that Gaston

 

Give five "hurrahs!"

 

Give twelve "hip-hips!"

 

Gaston is the best

 

And the rest is all drips

 

No one fights like Gaston

 

Douses lights like Gaston

 

In a wrestling match nobody bites like Gaston

 

For there's no one as burly and brawny

 

As you see I've got biceps to spare

 

Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny

 

And ev'ry last inch of me's covered with hair