Funniest jokes

Both. Anyway, here's one of them.

Q: What does the Energizer bunny do when he's in reverse?

A: He keeps coming. and coming. and coming.

 

How many lawyers does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them.

lol i like that one.

What does a lawyer name his daughter? Sue

 

Hahahaha...that is a good one.....

Q:What is the diffrence between a hor mone and a vitamin...?
A:You can't make a Vita "min"

 

... I don't get it...

Here's some one liners:

Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines

Whats the best thing about being a test tube baby. You get a womb with a view.

Veni. Vidi. Velcro. I came. I saw. I stuck around.

Do Roman nurses refer to IVs as fours?

24 hours in a day. 24 beers in a case. coincidence? I think not.

 

Ummmm, you can make a hor "mone"/"Moan".....get it.....?

 

oh you shoulda separated the hor mone because we're reading it and not hearing it.

YOu here that they're giving old men viagra at the retirement homes? Yeah its so they won't roll outa bed at night.

 

haha, lol that was awesome

Here's a story joke:

Three men go walking into a forest; a wise man, a smart man, and a dumb-as-a-pole man. Now the forest they go walking into is inhabited by cannibals and they're warned to not go into the forest. The men just shrug it off and say that they're strong and they'll be fine. Well, as it turns out, they get caught by the tribe of cannibals and are taken up to the high chief. who says:

" You've come onto our land and so now you shall be killed by us. We will crush your bones for our bread. Skin you alive to create canoes. Use your hair as blankets...(he goes on and on for a while but it kinda gets gruesome so I'm gonna stop there)...But before we do this we may grant you one last item."

So the chief looks to the wise man who immediately asks for a gun. A gun is brought out but only has one bullet. So instead of suffering through his death he takes his own life. The smart man then asks for a knife (for the tribe didn't want to give him a gun too, go figure) and takes his life as well. When the chief asks what the dumb guy would like....he thinks and thinks and thinks....and thinks some more. People get impatient and he still thinks and thinks and finally he asks for a fork. They bring out a fork, curious as to what he's going to do. And suddenly he starts poking himself all over with the fork. The tribe watch amazed as this guy just stabs himself with a fork.

Finally he throws down the fork, looks everyone in the eye and says "HA! there goes your Canoe!"

Woo, that was longer then I remembered it to be.

 

Hahaha, i have heard that one before....
This one is lame but i thought that it was funny....

What did one wall say to the other....?

Spoiler

Meet you at the corner...hahaha, lame