Ugh, looking at these topics about suicide and depression, I feel like this is going to be a measly thread. Oh well, here it goes: Bottom line, pretty much everybody hates me. Everyone says I'm annoying/weird, etc. I'm never good at making first impressions, I mess up A LOT when I try to be friends with someone. One time, when I was asking someone if I could be his friend, he kicked me in my groin. I have a couple of friends, but they're not really FRIENDS friends. I feel so isolated sometimes. And I don't like the school either. People bully me JUST because I have a Nintendo console. Seriously? BECAUSE I CAN'T AFFORD A PS3, THAT GIVES THEM THE RIGHT TO BULLY ME? I'm in 7th grade, btw. I'm one of those smart nerds that when I try to make friends it just ultimately fails. My reputation is very low thanks to stupid 5th grade. I also have a tendency to talk before thinking, and now people think I'm a pervert. That's another thing, this school takes everything I say and somehow makes it wrong. For example "Do you want to do it?", and then they tell EVERYONE that I wanted to have sex with a guy. T_______________T I WAS ASKING IF HE WANTED TO PLAY VIDEO GAMES ARE NOT. WTF?! Sorry for the somewhat selfish and unimportant post, but thanks. If you have any questions, I'll answer.
First off, don't actually ask someone if you can be their friend. If you have to ask that, then don't bother. Just talk to people and eventually you'll make friends. Talk about school, that's a subject you can't go wrong with since you're at school. Anyways, I had the same problem as you for a long time. I was bullied up until midway through my first year in highschool. Middle school was the worst. Not a lot of people will agree with me(because a lot of people are unconfrontational little girls) but the best way to deal with bullies in my experience is to just toughen up and roll with the punches(note: don't actually start punching people or involve yourself with physical violence). You say you're a "nerd" right? I'm hoping for your sake that you mean that you're smarter than the majority of your classmates rather than just being what popular culture defines a "nerd" to be. I got rid of two bullies by simply telling them that I wouldn't help them with their work if they continued messing with me(the benefits of being smart). If that's an option, use it. If not, make sure you can stand your ground when people start bothering you. If you back off, they'll just keep coming at you. If you ignore them, it's likely not to do anything(but again, that's just my experience). If that fails, or if you get hit, then you really should just tell a teacher or go to your principal. Oh, and to emphasize, really try not to get yourself in a fight. Stand your ground, but never throw the first punch. If you get insulted, your best bet might even be to just acknowledge it instead of your typical "NO! YOU ARE." Anyways, try not to let people walk all over you.
All I can say is don't give up. Your time may just not be now. I made great friends in all school types (elementary, middle, high), but my high school years were the best. I made so many friends, and you probably will as well once you reach high school. If you feel stressed, talk to your parents, teachers, or school counselor.
Yeah, I'm pretty smart, not just pop-culture nerd, LOL. Thanks for the help! I'll try to use this advice later on Monday. Thanks! Hopefully, maybe I'll get better by high school. And no, I don't feel stressed or anything, just I feel sort of left out. Thanks guys!
That, unfortunately, is middle school. I was made fun of for dressing a certain way and liking certain things and the people I associated with. Around high school, people will just stop giving a ****--they'll be wrapped up in their own personal whatever, they're not going to care enough to make fun of you. Best thing to do is to just not let them see it hurt you. Next time they make a comment towards you or anything, either try to make a joke out of it, just laugh it off, or brush it off. Even if you have to hold it in and heave later on, once they see they're not getting a rise out of you they'll probably be deterred. it's an awkward time for all of us, we don't really know who we are & a lot of people deal with that by shunning those they don't relate to, or that they see as an "easy" target. Just keep being nice to people, try to think before you speak, and do your best. If it gets physical or they're really hurting you you may want to approach an adult, but focus more on meeting people with similar interests and befriending them (hey I saw you playing your 3DS, what game was it!?). If you have friends, it's a lot easier to deal with the *******s. best of luck.
Thanks for the advice! Middle school is taking forever though, lol. Don't worry guys, I'm not getting into fights, although this one kids kicks everyone for no apparent reason, even his friends.
You seem like a really nice guy. My advice, don't give up. Making friends can be pretty hard sometimes. Try finding people that have the same interests as you, and who don't care about rumors. People like that do exist. Another thing, when you phrase something wrong try to laugh it off or something like that. I do it a lot and it's not a problem among my friends or the people around me because we laugh at it together. As for bullies, don't mind them, avoid them, or don't get involved with them (take your pick).
Thanks. I'm really bad at fake laughing, but I'll try just ignoring that I said something like that for now.
Sometimes it's easy to laugh at saying the wrong things. For example, earlier today, I was supposed to bring a bunch of white clothes for a video my group was supposed to make. I accidentally said "I don't have any white stuff." instead of saying I don't have any white clothes (which I was supposed to say). Me and my friends laughed about it for a long time.
Sadly, it's not friends that will be laughing. Oh well, I might be a little bit to close-minded. Today was a fairly good school day, and I think I'm making friends with a new guy. Of course, I won't ask him to be his friend, as one of you has advised me. Thanks!
I was always bullied through middle school, because the school was so small I stood out. I lived in a . . . let's say country town, with a very small school. I made friends though anyway. Actually that's where I met my best friend, even to this day. Once I entered High School however, where there was a lot more kids with a lot of different views/likes/etc. the bullying stopped. I stayed with my group. were we really popular? No. But we had fun. Then I transferred into a Vocational school, and that's when I met people who shared almost the exact same interests as me. Things get better in time. You just got to let these things take there course. A lot of the adults never understood how bad school was for the kids, but I won't forget. You just got to find your own little piece of heaven, even if you are in the middle of h**l. Hope things keep getting better for you and you can become friends with that guy ^_^
Like everyone else said, stand your ground. Most bullies only bully people because they know the victim won't fight back and they won't get hurt. I'm not telling you to actually fight them, but it's the same principle whether you do or don't. However, if they start getting physical with you (more than pushes, actual hitting), fight back with everything you have. Let them get in the first or second one, then go at it. You'll definitely get hurt, but you'll also hurt them, and that will make them think twice about messing with you. Most people these days discourage violence, which is completely ok and I understand why, but sometimes, it is necessary. About friends. Start by asking them questions about the homework. Even if you understand it, it will make them feel better to help you out, and if they don't understand, you can work it out together. Find a commonality that you share. Maybe they also like Kingdom Hearts or perhaps you both like cookies. Who knows. But it'll give you a start point. Make sure the people you try to make friends with aren't mean to their other friends. If you notice Person A asking their friend Person B for money, but then never paying it back, don't be friends with A. Also, Nintendo is boss.
The best way to make friends with someone is to ask them if they like anything new that came up on the web or in music. Try to see if both of you have any similarities before asking to be friends. You can also try to be the class clown of the class by saying some stupid stuff that people would think is funny. [I did this and I've got a whole lot of friends at the school I attend.] You could also attend the talent show at your school if you have any talent at playing an instrument. [Playing guitar will gain you popularity fast.] If you don't have any talent, then you can just try with the class clown tactic.
I see a thread all about something I'm an expert in. It has been five years since I left school but I still remember every bit of it. A way to make friends is different for everyone and that is a simple fact. You have taken the advice of everyone who has posted here and if that earns you friends then great. But I will tell you there are times when you make friends without even knowing you have. To explain what I mean I will have to tell you a story of something that happened to me when I was about to go to year seven. I wanted to go to one school but my parents said no and sent me to the school my brother went too. I made the worst first impression anyone could make. I told the guy in front of me to stop swinging on his chair since it was against the rules. (I signed my own death wish there) And that very guy bullied me everyday for the next month until I decided to put a stop to it by hanging round the head teacher's office. Meaning when he came to bully me we had the best witness you could have. He got suspended for three weeks but that gave me a very bad reputation from the guys in my class. I was known as The Head's pet and bullied worse than before. One time they stole my new trainers and set them on fire before PE meaning I was given detention for not bringing the right kit. I tried to tell the teacher what happened but he wouldn't believe me so I ran out and got the burned remains of my trainers and threw them at the teacher's face. Bad move it got me in big trouble so I walked out and finally got to go to the school I wanted too. You would think I would be happy because I would surrounded by my friends from Primary but that was short lived. The first day there was a maths test which I had to do. And can you guess what the idiot teacher did the next day? I'll tell you he only goes and tells the whole yea that the one student who wasn't even taught there had the highest marks in the test. All the people I thought was my friends wanted me to suffer and for a while I was until one day during lunch I came across one of the lads who was part of the group who bullied me alone stuck on Pokemon red against Lance's Dragonite so I said to use a thunder pokemon against it. But all his thunder pokemon were below level 26 so I told him about Zapdos. Then the group came along and started to have a go at him for talking to me and I stepped up gave him the chocolate bar I had and said "Here is the chocolate now leave me alone" after I finished I ran from there inside the building. Over time I saw alot of people talking about games I knew about and had even played. And since I enjoyed playing the games so much I didn't care what they said or did to me I always passed on advice or tips for any game I knew about. The Bullying still continued but became less drastic until one day in English class the toughest guy in school was angry about something and was itching for a fight. I sighed at the sight and he noticed so he came for me telling me to get up and fight him. I thought he was acting stupid and tried to ignore him no matter what he said or did until he snatched away my glasses. I was forced to say " Please give them back to me" He just made fun of me for saying please and then he did an impression of me. I just got up and snatched my glasses back knocking him over by mistake. He then got up and clenched his fist and hit me the hardest he could in the face. Everyone who he had hit in the past either fell back or cried from the pain but I did neither. I just put my glasses back on and sat back down, everyone was in shock at what they just saw. Him even more than anyone since not even his older brother could just ignore his punches like I did. So I became the punching bag for a few weeks and I wasn't bothered at all. Until one day I saw a kid being treated like I was when I first came to the school so I knew what I had to do. I purposely set the kid up to snap and made sure I was the one he snapped at. When my plan came together he let out one big punch. Which I didn't feel at all but I threw myself back to make it look like it effected me more than it did. From then on He became a very popular guy. But now onto the main part of the story I had put up with intense bullying all my life yet I still handed out tips on games and was punished for it. But when I heard there was going to be a year book I was uninterested. So I didn't bother buying one and as everyone went round getting their class mates to sign their books I was never asked even though i didn't expect to be. Yet I was in for a surprise on my last day of school just as I was about to leave my tutor stopped me and handed me a year book and said "I was asked to give this to you" So I took it and looked inside and to my surprise everyone from my year had signed it all of them wishing me a good life, saying they knew I'd make it to what ever I wanted to be. Some said I was tough and could handle what ever life threw at me while others said I had a brain that could decipher any puzzles I see. But the one constant in all of the writing was "Take care my friend" So even though when I did hang around with people I either got hit or insulted. I still was hanging around with people who actually saw me as a friend I just didn't realize it. So I guess the point of the story is use what you know to help you gain friends, but know sometimes people don't mean anything bad by what they say so try not to take it the wrong way. After all You seem like a OK guy so I believe when you find a subject you know about you will make friends with ease. Even a bad first impression can be fixed by a good second one so good luck making friends Neku.
