Forever

Earlier today I was going to be thrown out of my house and sent into foster care.

Well...I fixed that, but that was then...

My mom wanted to check her email at 1:40 am and I told her that she wouldn't have any. She starts screaming and then says that by 1pm tomorrow I'm gone and I can go die on the streets or in foster care or wherever the hell I want. Even when I fall to the ground, begging and shaking uncomtrollably, screaming and bawling my eyes out, admitting every wrong I've done, I get a sarcastic laugh and then more screaming about how I'm horrible and she never wants to see me again.

She's sending me to my dad's...a heartless ******* who wants me in foster care because months earlier he didn't want anything to do with me.

I'm running away, or possibly worse. I've never, EVER dreamed about killing myself. But...I'm not too sure.

KHV I love you to death. Each and every one of you to pieces and pieces. If I can't ever get on the computer, this is truly goodbye. Gentlemen I'm so sorry that I post this at such a bad time in the morning but you guys are my life, my friends that I love so dearly and hold so closly in my heart, you don't even know.

I love you all. I'm an idiotic, selfish bastard and none of you could accept it but I am, and now I have to pay.

Will be copying/pasting this to a few other places but god dammit KHV please please please know that you're the most special site. It's so pathetic but I'm so freaking glad I got to meet all of you.

<3

 

Awwww.... Xaale... ; ; *Gives hug*

I hadn't talked to you that much, but you were an awesome member. I keep saying this to a ton of people, but good times or bad times, neither one of them lasts. Trust me, this whole mess your going through will eventually get better even though it doesn't seem like it at all. I even sometimes have a hard time believing that I'll ever get through another day.

Hang tough, you're a strong person. And the best of luck to you my friend. ^^

 

NO. Don't you even think about doing that.

I feel bad about your situation. I can't believe your parents don't want anything to do with you. I also don't know why you think your a "idiotic, selfish bastard" but you aren't. Like Friendly said, you're an awesome member.

Goodbye, Xaale. I hope what your going through gets better.

 

Xaale, I really don't even know you but I really hope you don't commit suicide, and that you find some place to stay. Your only a teenager and you're gonna make mistakes, but you can't feel like those mistakes make you the worst person alive. Really, I don't even know how to put the rest of my feelings about this into words. Good luck with everything =T

 

Xaale, I'm so sorry I couldn't do more to help you, because it seems impossible, but don't lose faith. It will all pass. You've got to try and be strong, try and hold on.

I know it's not easy, but...you have to try. If you give up now on everything, you may not talk to your friends again. We'll all be waiting for when you come back, because, damn you better be back or well find some crazy-ass way to contact you. Remember that you're not alone, and that we are your friends.

Good luck with everything.

 

Suicide. Really, don't do it, love. It's not the way to go, honestly.

Persevere with what is happening, and for the love of god, stay safe. Please, please, please, PLEASE stay safe. You know you are loved, and it will all work out alright in the end.

All My Love <33

 

I know everyone will have already said this, but I really mean it when I say that suicide is not the answer. Trust me. I have thought about it many times, but there will always be a way for things to get better. Running away is one thing, even foster care isn't bad. Sometimes you can get a great foster family and be even happier than you were before. We've only exchanged VMs and talked in posts, but I've always felt that you were a really great person. You are one of the nicest people I've ever meet to be honest, and all the friends I talk to hear speak very highly of you, and I can't see why they wouldn't. See if you've taken the time to read this, I just want you to know, that you would be doing the world a favor if you didn't decide to harm yourself in that way. And that may sound a little corny, but it's the truth. And out of all people on this site, I can definitely relate to the kind of parents you have. But what I've always known is that all the things my mom says, I know aren't true. And the same goes for you. We all make mistakes obviously. I really wish we could've gotten to know each other better, maybe you could have had someone to make sense of everything. You will be missed so much, not only as a nice person, but as someone who could always make me laugh even when it seemed like you weren't trying to. So if you took the time to read all that, all I can say is, I hope you make the right choice, and good luck with everything, Xaale.

 

Xaale, don't you dare consider suicide as a quick way out. I don't care how nightmarish life is, there is always a way to fix it. Your parents are jerks, and I hope that a rl friend will be able to help you out over there because friends are what you need right now.

Take Care

 

Alright guys she changed her mind Dx I thought that was my permanent goodbye and oh god I'm so upset.

But now my brother knows and could tell my dad any second, he said he wouldn't but I don't trust him at all. So then my dad will call the sheriff and take me to foster care Dx

So...yeah. Fun fun D:

 

Xaale...
I can't even imagine how horrible this must be for you...
I'm glad that at the moment you're not being sent away, though. If you ever need ANYTHING don't hesitate to call. I have connections in KY, TN, OR, CA, MI, even Hawaii who would be willing to help a friend in need.
I<3U​

 

What. The. ****. I get back from the longest ****ing weekend, waiting to get on msn so we can do random things, and I get this. You gave me a heartattack, kid. I want ma Zee zee on msn nao, pwease.

Seriously, don't worry about that stuff. Its things that could or might happen. You can't do anything worrying about it.

 

Alexandra...I feel so bad for you on this. Don't commit suicide, it's not the way to go, love. I hope everything works out for you. You're one of the best members and friends I've had on this site. You really are one of the nicest and best people I've met on this site, and IRL too. You were one of my first real friends on here, and I've enjoyed every conversation I've had with you. This thread scared me, and I hope everything goes okay for you in the future. Don't commit suicide, please.
All my love <3
~Haley

 

Well, I don't really know you and you don't really know me... but I know what you're going through... to some extent. I've wanted to kill myself before, my mother also has threatened to do that to me... but what you're going through is far worse than any situation i've been in. I hope I can give some advice that helps. If I can't, i'm sorry...

Going down the suicide road myself, (I thank god it was a failed attempt) I can tell you, it'll get you nowhere. You'll just be in extreme pain... and if you survive, you'll feel guilty you made everyone worry. (At least, I did) Also, running away will get you nowhere either. Like they say, it'll blow over. I hope it does at least... And I will keep you in my thoughts and pray for the best. <3

*Hugs* Good Luck, my friend.

 

Okay a bit confused here ..your mom wanted to throw you out because you wouldn't let her check her email?..

 

Well it's more than that, but that's part of it.

It's over at least for now :/

 

I hope it's over for good ;~;

And Alex, if you were to ever leave, I would make a rescue mission >:D

Then send the evil paper cranes at your parents.

RRRRRRRRRRRGH.

 

Xaale, as someone with experience of freaky parents, particularly my mother...

My mom was nuts and used to lock me out of the house and threaten to kick me out all the time. I ran away at 13 and then left the house for good at 17. I found a friend to go to the first time to stay with and attend school and in the end, if the cops had gotten involved, I would have had enough and the counselor at school knew why I would not go home for a month.

In the end, your mom sounds like she has anxiety and some severe depression and she's taking it out on you. Your dad sounds like a worthless sob and in the end, you may want to actually -report- your parents if this keeps going on. You do not deserve this treatment. It's not you who is the 'trash' and scum etc. You do things wrong, sure, but so don't we all. Your mom needs psychiatric help but at the same time, you also don't have to be a victim to the abuse. Consider going to your school counselor or someone you trust to find a way to get some assistance. Maybe even family therapy of some sort. Don't blame yourself for this stuff. I wish you the best and hope things get better for you. I truly do. Be well. ~