This is something off the top of my head, its a poem about a sunset. CnC pleaze??? FIRE SKY I watch the bright sun set As it leaves a fire sky The water is calm as ever As it reflects the sun's goodbye I watch the fire sky Burn the colour of the plants to black And the innocent hope of the trees Wonders when the sun will be back I watch the sun descend Ending the day's light And the moon rises to its starry throne Fading the fire sky to night
That's pretty neat, I loved the way you described it. The only issues I saw were a few rhythm issues in some places, but the more you practice, the less evident those will be. This is awesome for something you thought of off the top of your head, keep writing ^^.
I like how it left an image in my head afterwards. Very descriptive, and that's a plus. But I think you should be alittle more smooth. This was kinda rough, but it's good for just being something at the top of your head. More word flow. :3 4.8/5
