I'll try to make a long story short, but I really need some advice and help. What happened in the past to this point: To start things off, I've been diagnosed by a counselor (not a psychiatrist) with ADD. So I don't have much of an attention span, I loose things daily (like pencils, items of clothing, notebooks, etc.), I start projects that interest me at the time but then I never finish it (Like AMVs that take extra effort to put in video effects, or full fledged stories that have like 32 Chapters planned out, even RPs that I make or join eventually die because I don't have a desire to post in them after a while), I feel like things never get done or they're not good enough constantly, and the list goes on. Just recently, I made some BIG changes in my life. In January, I left my house and moved in to live with a friend for the rest of the school year (We'll call her Amanda, and I'm 18 and turned 18 last year in August, so it was legal) because I got scared by my dad (not going into details, because it was pretty scary and I ended up with a bruise). Phase 1: My house was cluttered all the time, my dad was constantly working and usually put work before family, my mom had mental illness and was constantly sleeping due to her medication, and I had a bother with severe down syndrome (he couldn't communicate with us, he couldn't feed himself, and he couldn't take himself to the bathroom. His mind was pretty much like an infant's). So it was me and my dad running the house, but it felt like I was on my own most of the time because of my dad's work (it was a private owned business, so he ran it from home. It wasn't doing so great, and he was constantly borrowing money from people, so he would tell me every time I wanted something *big or small* he would always say "When we have the money). My parents were very protective of me and kind of controlling. They wouldn't let me watch Pirates of the Caribbean until I was 15 years old because they thought it was too scary, I was never allowed to get a job (not even a summer job, unless it was for my dad's business), they never told me that we were going to do activities or go to events until we were out the door, so forth so on. The biggest things were when I was going through phases of depression, they persuaded me that it was just my imagination and I went untreated for a year until we went to the doctor for something different and I told them (without telling my mom in advance what I was going to do) what I was going through. After taking medication for a few months, and it seemed like I started to improve, my dad persuaded me to get off the medication without a doctor's consent (by comparing me to my mother, and I was off of my anti-depressants for five months) which resulted in a lot of scary things, like the fact I almost committed suicide. That was around the time I was going to counseling, and that's when I was diagnosed with ADD and the counselor told me to take the medication again. Result of Phase One: My dad finally exploded one morning because of his finical situation (since he was sorely in debt), my mother not being able to do anything because she was depressed and sleeping all the time, and he was stressed out with the fact he was trying to run a household and a business. Blaming myself for my dad's explosion, and due to the fact I was in the line of fire when it happened, I moved in with Amanda, finished my school year with her, and graduated with her. I rarely went back to my house, and I only saw my mother when I had doctor appointments or orthodontist appointments. I was deciding where to go for college, and then it seemed like things were falling in place. Amanda's got a job in a different state as dean of a junior college, and offered room and board for me if I moved to where Amanda's mom was and pay for my college if I went to school and got good grades. So naturally, I took the offer, got accepted to that college, and moved across state. Phase II the Present: Amanda's family treats me like I've been always part of the family. Her mom buys me clothes, her dad gives me good advice, and they're teaching me how to make my own choices and decisions without being controlled by anyone. I've applied for five different jobs, and I'm going to my college orientation this week. I get my own room, I've been settling in, but a lot of things have been scaring me lately... WHAT I NEED ADVICE ON: One, I have to find my own doctors so I can my ortho things completed, and my medication circulated. My dad only gave me $50 for health things, so I feel like I'm on a limb and I don't want to be a burden to my adopted family. My antidepressants cost an arm and a leg each month, so worth more than what $50 could cover. But if I go off of them, I'm afraid of what might happen. And last time I went off of them, I had horrible withdrawal symptoms that lasted for two months (suicidal tendencies being one of them). Two, due to my ADD, I feel like I'm just getting in the way and always messing up. I leave doors open, I leave cupboards open, I forget to throw my trash away, I forget that I'm cooking something and almost burn dinner or lunch, I start one task and then get called to do something else so I forget that I was doing something originally and leave it halfway done, and I sometimes don't clean up spills or messes because I get distracted. Gah, this family has been so good to me, I don't want to screw things up and be a leech. They've given me a stable home, something I never had in my life, and I feel like I'm throwing it away. It's just really frustrating. Any advice will help... Sorry for the wall of text.
Interesting story. It's great how you've turned around your life and are heading somewhere. Congratulations, really. On the note of what to do about your medical issues, see what sort of health care you can get from your government. Depending on where you live, you could get your medicine heavily subsidised. If you cannot get any government funding, it would probably be best to sit down and have a talk with your friend's family about it. Explain that you'll pay as much as you can, and that you're grateful for everything they've done for you. You should be getting a job soon, so you can get cash from there, if need be. Your ADD sounds like a fairly serious case, so it may be worthwhile investigating medication for it. That said, treatment can be expensive, and pills often have side effects. (e.g. Leaving you in a zombie-like state, etc.) So I'd suggest looking for other treatments that you can do yourself. From a quick google search, there appears to be a lot of stuff out there for ADD/ADHD, so you should be able to find something that works for you. Here's one link that looked fairly useful for non-medicinal treatment, while this one seems to be a comprehensive examination of the different treatments available to you. (Although there are links down the bottom of that page to other extremely interesting and potentially useful articles.) Good luck with working through your problems. It sounds as though you've been through a lot.
I think it may be a good idea to investigate a little about federal aid given to college students, too. It could help you with the debts you may have, at least somewhat. I'm pretty sure you can request FAFSA in the US, so if you haven't checked that out, it may be a good time to do so. And you're also getting a job, which is good. I believe that you should talk about your situation with the college counselor, because he probably knows more about your college and aid than we do. And overall, I believe you're doing good. It takes a lot of courage to try and be independent, but you're on the right track, I believe.
Thanks P for responding. ^^ I live in the United States, so I might be able to get some help from the government. Maybe my Social Security would help if I address the situation I'm in right now. I'll talk to my friend's family about paying as much as I can for the medical expenses. Heh, I'm already in a zombie like state with these anti-depressants, so I'll look into the links you've given me. Thank you for recommending them to me. :glomp: I applied for FASA, but I'm still confused how it works. I'll talk to the college counselor about that, and I'll look into scholarships too since I haven't had the chance yet. Thank you Chev for the advice. ^^
Oh wow, I'm glad that your life has turned around for the better, it shows how things can improve. Well, as for your problems with the ADD, you may be quite forgetful or easily distracted but sometimes just to repay them you could do small things e.g. making them a tea in the morning, simple things like that. Since you should be getting a job soon it should be easier to pay for the medication but until thentalk to your adopted parents to try and work things out- like you can repay them once you have a job. With the little things like leaving cupboard doors open, there'#s not much you can do about that unless you train yourself to associate leaving a room with checking you've closed the door, if you get what I mean. It's like conditioning yourself- they once did an experiment on a child, they showed the child a rat and then crashed 2 symbols behind the boy's head at the same time, after doing this a few times the boy would freak out when it saw a rat. Obviously don't do that, but apply this example to your own situation. What I'd do is for the first few times when you go to a cupboard (I'm using the cupboard as the example but try it with the other things as well) think constantly of remembering to close it and then eventually you'll be reminded automatically whenever you open a cupbaord. I don't know if any of that helped but I hope it did, and I hope things improve even more for you ^^
First off, congrats on turning your life around. Seriously, it's a hard thing to do, and I am SO PROUD OF YOU. But yea, being redundant here, but talk to your adopted family seriously. It doesn't even have to be a long talk, just sit them down and explain. I myself do not have full blown ADD, but I have a few symptoms, and I really like what Ienzo said about training yourself to close doors and whatnot. I have actually done that, almost to a point of OCD, actually. I, like, HAVE to make sure the doors are closed at night or else I freak the f*ck out. The point is, it IS possible, so it might be a good idea to give it a try. And like Pika said, do some research, it's good for you. One more thing, good luck on the job search from someone who is also looking for a job. <3
It did, don't worry. ^^ My counselor taught me something called hyperfocus where I focus on one thing that matters the most at the time, and nothing else until the task is completed. My brain hurts every time I try that, but it helps a little. Every time I go in the kitchen, I'll make it a habit to look around and make sure everything is in order when I enter and when I leave, or any room for that matter. I got some sticky notes that'll probably help remind me, and I'm sure my adoptive parents won't mind me sticking them on a wall or two if it'll help me help keep the house clean. ^^; Thanks Ienzo for the help. :glomp: Aw, thanks Fearless. <3 Actually, just a few minutes ago when I was helping with laundry and dishes, my "dad" told me that we needed to get the doctor things in order and asked how I was doing with my medication. So, it shows me that he's concerned for me and that he's going to help me in any way possible. First it'll be the ortho and then it'll be the other doctors, and maybe I can start getting off the antidepressants with professional help. And good luck to you too. :3
Oh good. Looks like they're going to pay for it. That's a good deal of your troubles sorted, isn't it? The hyperfocus should become easier as you practice it more. Are other parts of your life fairly stable? (e.g. exercise, sleep, etc.) I hear that getting good routine going for them can help a lot. Personally, I've taken to noting things to do down in a notebook. For example, just now I remembered to put headphones in my bag for school, because a friend wants to try to fix them.
You have quite the story behind you, I really never would have guessed that... I'm really glad that your life is different now and that your adopted family actually really loves you. After everything that has happened to you, you really do deserve it. You should keep working with the hyperfocus technique, I've heard that it can really help a lot, even though it probably will cause you a bit of pain, it'll work for you if you work hard enough at it. This family is showing you that they really care and that they understand what you need and what you're going through, and as long as you work on it with them, you'll pull through. I have ever confidence in the world in you. (:
My buddy has ADD and in order to remember stuff or keep track of things he wears a ring. It sounds silly, but he always looks at it and ask himself if he's remembered all his stuff for school, or closed the cupboards or locked the doors. So it works as a reminder for things. Maybe it wont work for you, but it's worth a shot (; Btw, I'm really happy for you. It sounds like you definitely deserved a change for the better in your life.
I also have a friend who does that, except that she moves her ring to the opposite hand whenever she needs to do something. But anyhow, Maka...FAFSA is very easy to apply for. It does take a while with the myriad of questions, and it can get tedious. But judging on how you say your real parents have money troubles, there's a high chance you'd receive some, or all of the federal aid.
Awwww~! Thank you, Saxima. *Super hugs* You're right, my adoptive family even talked to me about doctors to go to at dinner tonight, and they said they will pitch in to help pay for it and I wouldn't be a burden at all. I think things will work out okay. The ring idea isn't actually a bad idea.... But I'm afraid I'm going to forget to switch it off once I'm done with a task. >< But I can try it! Thanks for the tip. :D I applied to FAFSA cause my counselor advised me to, but I'm not sure how it exactly works. I claimed the code that they gave me for my college though, so I guess now everything will be sorted out when I go to the college orientation. I hope I'll get some help... Thanks again Chev. *Hugs* Oh yeah, it really takes a lot of weight off of my shoulder. I tried notebooks, then I misplace those notebooks or find myself not having enough time to write what I need down, but I can try to go back to it again.
Another flaw of notebooks: despite seeing the message in them, you can completely forget about doing it. Case in point: I got distracted typing out that post, and forgot to put the headphones in my bag. >_> With the ring idea, it'll become incredibly frustrating for multiple tasks, or if you forget what you're doing, but still see the ring on the to-be-done hand. It has the potential to become a nightmare. A checklist works better in the long-term. (In the short-term though, for small tasks, the ring could keep you on-task.)
