Empty

I can't feel anything at all anymore
I can't stop the empty feeling
The hole in me
The pleading for a home
Home is where the heart is right?
Then why is my home so far away?
I want to be able to hold my friends again
I want to be able to tell them my problems face to face
I can't do this anymore
I can't go on living this lie
Why should I?
Who would miss me?
Who would care if I was gone?
I just want to FEEL SOMETHING
ANYTHING
Pain is all I feel now
Self-inflicted pain
And it feels good to me because it's something to FEEL
It makes me wonder what else life can give me
My dreams?
They've been dead for a LONG TIME
Maybe it's time I've joined them

Yeah... I'm a bit depressed.... Just a quick poem to let a bit of it out.

 

Angelina, that is a very emotional, strong poem. Great job on it.... but going a bit past that, please let that only be a poem and not what you really mean, because you know that so many of us would die inside without you. *hugs*

 

I write from my heart. Sadly, the words are true feelings that I've had for a long time. Seeing my sister happy with her boyfriend sends a stabbing pain in me. I can't even think about any of my far away friends without crying.

 

i know... but please promise something... please never ever think about taking your life. you have no idea how many people's lives would... just, please.... i'm sorry... i'm just worried the hell about you.

 

I promised myself I would do it when I turned 13. It's been TWO YEARS since then. Isn't it about time I fill that promise?

 

F*ck no! Angelina... okay, let me put it this way, you've been my best friend for practicly all my life and visa versa. i know i'm only one person out of the many you miss and all but my point of veiw is all i can give you. so let's say you took your life, where do you think you'll leave me? do you think i could honestly ever be whole or completly happy again if you did that? and if you do you're wong. If you can take doing that to me... i don't know what to say if you could take doing that to me...

 

But what about me? I can't see past this no matter how many times people say it will get better. This hurts so much more than any physical pain.

 

but you have your family! and you have your friends! yeah it sucks that you can't see us right now. i'm sorry, so very very sorry about that and i wish you could be here so much! But that isn't a reason to give up your life. Don't you get that?

 

You know my parents aren't exactly supportive of me or my goals. To quote my mother: "Chanes are you'll never make it in the musical world, and theater isn't much easier. If you do go to college and get that degree you plan to, at least you can get a job with that." Does that sound like support to you? How can I feel like this will all blow over if my own mother doesn't support my dreams?

 

Okay, it isn't a supportive thing to say. i know it hurts you to hear her say that. but do you see why she said it? not because she doesn't bleive in you, but because she doesn't want to see you get hurt. yeah, it's not the right thing to say. But it still isn't a reason to take your life. you just dont' get it. you have NO reason to take your life.

 

I'd rather be able to try at my dreams and fail than not try at all. The only reason I can see to push forward is to prove her wrong.

 

push foward than... there's nothing stopping you.

 

It will take a lot of thinking for me to either descision.

 

... yeah... well u already know my opinion, but i know you'll make you're own desicion. all i can ask is that u don't hurt me, and everyone else who loves you, as badly as i know killing yourself will.

 

I understand you're going through a hard time... Trust me, I know what it's like to lose people... I got dumped by my boyfriend a few days ago... I can hardly talk to one of my closest friends on here... My grandpa freaking died... I understand you may be going through some hard times, but you just have to learn to push through them... Think about it. When you're 18, you can do what you want with your life... You just need to push through until then. Forget what your parents say if it's not supportive! Just keep pushing for your dreams, no matter what. This is definately not a good reason to take your life! Nobody should ever take their own life... Every hard time can be pushed through... You just have to keep trying a little longer... I know you're strong enough to get through this... You've made it this far, and you have your friends to back you up... *hugs tightly* Take it from people who care about you: We don't want to see you hurt yourself because of this... Everyone exists for a reason, and you just need to keep going and find yours... Please don't hurt yourself in the process...

 

Angelyn, why do you think I never take my wristband off?

DestinyStar, how do you do it? After all that, how do you keep going?

 

yes i know... but... just never mind. you're not listening, i know you're reading what i'm writing, but you're not hearing me. just... think about it... please. don't mess up you're life because it gets hard.

 

You may not be religious, but I am... I believe that God will show me the way and guide me through my life... that always keeps me going... Even though sometimes I feel like breaking down, I just keep going... For thos who love me, and for myself... I know that each and every one of us has a purpose in life... Do you know how many times I've been told acting is a bad career choice, because most people don't make it? Alot... But I just convince myself to keep going, and that I can do it... My friends push me forward and try to help me move along... I have to admit, I have thought about suicide a few times, but I know it's a bad choice... That doesn't solve anything... It just takes away the life I may come to have some day... I will do everything I can to keep pushing you forward, as a friend... I know you can get through this. :)

 

*EPIC GLOMP* Thank you both.

 

Hey, no problem... And if you ever need anything, don't be afraid to pm me and ask, or if you need to talk about something... Okay? *hugs tight*

I gtg to bed... Night you two! ^^

And, so this doesn't count as spam, your poem was awesome... I could really feel the intensity in it... Great job. :)