Eighteen Bottles of Whiskey

I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in the cellar,
and my wife insisted I empty the contents of
each bottle down the sink, or else.

After careful consideration, I reluctantly agreed
and finally proceeded with the unpleasant task.

I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and
poured the contents down the sink with the exception
of one glass, which I drank.

Then, I withdrew the cork from the second bottle and
did likewise with it, with the exception of one glass,
which I drank.

I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and
poured the whiskey down the sink, which I drank.

I pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down the sink
and poured the bottle down the glass, which I drank.

I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank
one sink out of it, and threw the rest down the glass.

I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the
cork down the bottle. Then, I corked the sink with the
glass, bottled the drink anddrank the pour.

When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with
one hand, counted the glasses, corks, bottles, and sinks
with the other, which were twenty-nine, and as the houses
came by I counted them again, and finally I had all the
houses in one bottle, which I drank.

I'm not under the affluence of incohol as some tinkle
peep I am. I'm not half as thunk as you might drink. I
fool so feelish I don't know who is me, and the drunker
I stand here, the longer I get.

 

That is going to be me in a few hours.