Duh, hi kids! It's time for...THE SLAM & KASEY SHOW!!!!!

Featuring yer pals, Slam & Kasey!
http://KaseyKockroach.deviantart.com/art/A-Slam-and-Kasey-Cartoon-2-112375597

In...Pistol Packin Cockroach!
The cartoon opens in a lawless western town, guns constantly blazing (even the little sparrows that fly by don't trust each other). A town where this occurs often.
Cowboy: Hi, Marty! Sure glad to see ya!
Cowboy 2: Howdy, Sly! It is good to see you too! (randomly pulls out a gun and kills Marty for no reason, and walks off happily like nothing ever happend).
But, all goes quiet when familiar footsteps are heard... Everyone stares at the saloon entrance in terror, as Two Gun Slammie strolls in, clutching two revolvers.
Slam: I'm looking to end the life of a certain insect hombre, indeed. Be he here? (spits in spittoon mid-sentence)
Everyone runs in terror from the bar.
Slam: Well, be he here?
His opponent emerges from swimming in a barrel of beer, spotting Slam and thus pulling out his two revolvers as well, staring down his foe.
Kasey: He be here....
As dramatic, suspenseful music is heard, as the two step closer, and closer, and closer, as the two prepare to pull out their weapons at the oppurtune time... The music gets more and more dramatic, as they step closer... And closer.. Aaaand... Kasey reaches, and pulls...
Out his cigar.
Kasey: So, how are t'ings?
Slam: You imbecile! You've ruined the moment!! Listen here you rat with antennaes, I'm aiming to shorten your lifespan...
Kasey (pulling out a shotgun): On de contrary, my dear friend, it is I who has de upper hand.
Slam (pulling out a machine gun): Ah, no! Tis me!
Kasey (pulling out a rocket launcher): Me!
Slam (cannon): Me!
Kasey (machine gun war turret): ME!
Slam (entire battleship): ME!
Beaten by that, Kasey shrugs, pulls out his small pistol, and blasts Slam in the face and runs off as Slam chases him after hopping off his battleship. While chasing Kasey around the saloon, Kasey runs to another room, slamming the door in his face. Only for Slam to enter the room through a door right next to the other (don't ask why two doors right next to each other lead to the same small room :P). Kasey responds by slamming that door in Slam's face. Continuing the chase, Slam becomes exhausted, and drags himself back to the bar, banging on the counter, shouting his desire for a drink. Of course, Kasey rushes in, simply wielding a fake mustache, asking in a Swedish accent what he wants.
Slam: A small cup of alchoholic western tea, my good fellow!
Kasey simply opens up a bottle of "SUPER DUPER EXTREME HOT SAUCE", pours it in a glass, and hands it to Slam.
Slam: My, this looks delightful! Well, down the hatch!
And Slam swallows the entire drink in one gulp.
A drum roll is heard...............
It gets louder as Slam appears to be rather uncomfortable...
And then...
Slam: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WATER!!!! WATER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kasey rips off his mustache, pointing outside the entrance, shouting "Overdere, overdere! Hurry, hurry!".
Slam runs outside in terror and agony, as Kasey points to a fountain. The problem is, of course, Slam doesn't realize its a geyzer.
KABOOOOOOM!!! Slam is shot in the air by the huge blast of hot water. Slam lands, crotch-first, on a cactus. He furiously lifts himself off, continuing the chase inside the saloon. There, S&K have an "suspenseful, exciting" pistol duel, firing all sorts of guns at each other as they dash throughout the saloon. Slam renders Kasey bald with a single shot, while Kasey, with damn good aim with his machine gun, carves a target symbol on Slam's back fur, and firing him with a pistol on the bullseye. As Slam continues firing, Kasey sneaks behind Slam, pouring ketchup all over Slam's head, and skipping off. Slam slowly ceases fire, feeling his head. You can guess the conclusion he comes to.
Slam: G-g-g-good gracious!! He got me!...I'm heading for the big playboy mansion in the sky....
Slam collapses on the floor, writhing in "pain", as he awaits his final blow. Kasey plays that familiar tune on the trumpet (forgot the name, but its always played during a death, IDK), which certainly doesn't ease Slam's nerves. However, the bottle of ketchup, lying on the counter, drips on Slam's nose, as he gets himself up, and discovers this wretched scam. Kasey, knowing what Slam just found, shivers in fear, as Slam casually walks up to him.
Slam: You know.... That wasn't very nice. PREPARE TO DIE!!
Slam punches Kasey in the nose, pulling out a revolver, cornering him. Kasey sighs in defeat, writing his will (it reads: Donate all to charity. Except the good stuff), as he tearfully awaits his fate, as Slam prepares to pull the trigger, killing his foe once and for all....
Suddenly...
A car horn is heard, as girls are heard giggling.
Kasey: Oboy, dere's the dames!
Slam: The wha...?
Kasey: Sorry, Slammie, I can't play with ya no more, I's got a party to go to! So long! See ya tomorrow!
Slam: WHAT!?! Oh, no you don't!!
Kasey: But Slammie, dis cartoon's about to end! Just wait til next time!
Slam: NO!! I'm ending this right now!!
Slam tackles Kasey to the ground, and prepares to blow his brains out when...
"THE END" falls out of the sky, smashing Slam's head, KOing him. Kasey breathes a sigh of relief, waving goodbye to the audience, and hopping to the convertible full of babes, as he drives into the sunset.
The End. A Slam & Kasey Cartoon.

 

.....

Kill me.

 

Gladly. =D
Take my life, too! If you do, I'll never spam again!

 

I cried tears of pain.

 

I died a bit lot inside.

 

I didn't read a word of that.

 

Congratulations.

 

So, other than changing the story so everyone dies and goes to hell (including me), how could I improve the short? :D

 

Stop basing it off cartoons from the 40s?

 

And why? =P I'd rather not base my stuff off of anything done in the last 40 years.

 

Because it seems like a ten year old furry wrote it.

And has none of the 'humor' that those cartoons did.

 

Why do you say humor in quotes? And yes, I know I suck at writing (and drawing). I'm just taking advantage of....THE SPAMZONE!!!!

 

That was physically painful for me to read.

 

Then why'd ya read it?

 

I may be the only one that lol'd. >.>

 

Because it wasn't exactly humor.
There were, if memory serves, quite a few racial mentions in various episodes.

And congrats, you just raped the spam zone.

Thank god I'm too tired to actually read that wall of text, I skimmed it and managed to get back alive.

 

.....So? They're in far better taste than anything else done today. And that's just how things were back then.

 

That doesn't make it funny.
Or in better taste.
Racism is never a good thing in any context.

 

Never said twas a good thing. That's just how things were in that time period (hell, some studios were actually PRESSURED to do blackface/racial gags).
Besides, those moments were the exceptions. Watching my 1000 cartoon set, it seems that kind of stuff stopped after the war. =p

 

Maybe you should stick to the new fashioned cartoons, honey.
These are the reason we make them now. Because the 40's were a little outdated.