Where am I? all these tragic things I remember So many places flashing before my eyes are they real or not? Life is a scattered dream corridor after corridor And all I see are parts of my life although i seem to know alot about these memories So little do i know of myself memories can eithertrick or guide us But everything seems so real yet it seems so mysterious The answer I will never know until i awaken from this life
Memories How long has it been? since we've met my love Under that starry sky our future flashed before my eyes I remember when we'd lay on the beach Just to listen to the waves the sound of your voice woke me From the wave's sleepy spell 2 weeks from now we will wed i see it as our destinies being intertwined When the day comes Alexis i will be with you always Not even heaven, hell or the world can break our heart's bond I love you Alexis.
Both of them are very nice. The first gave me some Kingdom Hearts flashbacks xD. They have a very mystical/mysterious feel to them. Kudos.
Make sure that before you post you go back through and re-read and edit your poems. There are a few spelling errors that I can see.
You mean errors? Actually, I've caught several. It's not a big deal though, just some 'I's that weren't capitalized, misspellings and missing spaces. They don't stand out all that much.
Make sure to proof read for spelling errors, there where some. They remind me of Kingdom Hearts. Was that your inspiration?
I've bolded corrections that i've made. I won't be the first to admit that all though I do enjoy writing poetry, i'm not one to criticize layout because each of us writes how we feel.
I think capitolizing heaven and hell would depend upon your religion. Are you here to be Petru's english teachers or are you going to comment on quality? Since i've already commented on your poetry in real-life me posting here doesnt really matter.
So me, a senior preparing to graduate as an English major, should let simple errors pass because this forum is for children who aren't required to formulate correct grammar / or something? The quality of the poem is both on the imagery, and the poetics of the piece. If there are errors, it takes away FROM the quality of the piece by removing the reader.
Mimiru...we don't correct things because we are out to get someone, it's because it helps the person improve. We do NOT hold any obligation whatsoever to respond to threads, and much less even help with grammar and such. It is rare indeed that people are nice enough, like Shades and the others here to point it out so kindly. Never bite the hand that feeds you; that is something that you should try and take to heart to avoid further problems. Oh, by the way, nice poems...though, I'm not very clear on how they rhyme and such. The first one ended in a bitter note, when the situation would only be understood in death
In all honesty, we just want to help them improve, and by posting it here they are asking for feedback, which includes constructive criticism. And if you ask me, if a few spelling/grammar errors are the only criticism we have, that's a very good thing. We're not saying Petru is a bad writer -- not at all. We're saying the opposite. Everyone makes spelling mistakes, though, so everyone should proofread. It's just a suggestion for them.
I know they're trying to help Petru but to him he prefers his writing's quality to be criticized rather than grammar Does it really matter with grammar because there were famous poets who made up their own words in their writing. I will see if he has another poem to write.
UH i'm not a child i'm 22. Sorry about the way my baby sister has been acting her boyfriend broke up with her so I told her to stay off for the day. Untitled poem My mind overflowing dazed by her beauty It feels like bloating--ha-ha I think my heart is exploding It's time for this sad dove to finally fall in love I love you A We're going 2 weeks today Because your joy makes my life right Your light will guide me through the darkest night.
