.::Author’s Notes::. Alright, this is a short story about the origins of our second to youngest forum Moderator at KHV, DPWolf [aka Melissa]. So why the sudden random story about her origins you ask? Well, this goes back many moons to the prehistoric time when it was I who was being questioned at the Questioning Time thread [otherwise, it was last week]... She had merely asked me a simple question, “Am I really a wolf?†and with that, I proceeded to answer with two very long paragraphs about what species she truly is. By some great miracle, the answer was truly EPIC and therefore it really deserved to be rewritten into a story with much added detail than the original post [which can be found in DPWolf’s user notes]. So here it is, the far deatiled version of the same story at the request of DPWolf herself, and for the rest to enjoy. Last note before I actually get started:: Making sense of the story... Yeah, it probably won’t make a -BIT- of sense unless you know DPWolf as I do. I’ll say this much though, that the story actually reflects the attributes and personality of DPWolf, as well as her everyday life and some of the common misunderstandings she faces each day on the forums. ~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~ Gather around children as I have a pwnsome tale to tell... We all know who DPWolf is, and alongside that we also know, that very much like the radioactive cookie we today know as ~Amber~, or the mutant orange we like to call... well, O R A N G E, DPWolf is, as a matter of fact, a wolf. A lovely, furry, clever, and savage wolf. However, there are none that know just how DPWolf had come to be this so called pwnsome creature. How was it that DPWolf had come to exist in this forum? Ah, my lovely children... it is only I, Pyrɸ, who alone knows of DPWolf’s origins and how she came to be. I will NOT hesitate to throw a chicken at you or burn you if you talk. So sheddup and listen as I tell this pointless tale... DPWolf IS a wolf, that has already been declared. However, she was once a human being. It was many moons ago, on a dark and stormy night when Melissa suddenly had a random-ass urge to go take a walk in the forest... and because she was sexy like that, she did, and she did so without a second thought. She went deep into the woods where the sun don’t shine and the unicorns... O_O I–I mean, the said werewolves roamed. Rarw... Er, right... Anyway, Melissa was a brave soul and apparently had no life, therefore she did not buy that crap about the rumors of the werewolves, and went ahead into the forest only to get her ass kicked by the pwnsome creatures almost immediately. They had knocked her unconscious, and when she finally did wake up, she found herself at their encampment, which was decorated with pretty and exotic flowers surrounded by some dancing Pokémons. Melissa thought that this would be her end... this would be the way she would die... Ehh, well not so much. The pwnsome werewolves kept Melissa as their prisoner for a couple months, letting her gorge on their unique and random international food, for it was part of their plan to kill her and eat her once she was all plump and juicy; after letting her marinate in some hot, exotic, Asian spices and herbs of course. What’s an Asian to taste like if you don’t marinate her well with the hot and sexy spices? Anyway, moving on... After many moons, when the moon was starting look much like a chocolate chip cookie rather than a regular low calorie cheesecake, they decided to throw a rave and the main course would of course be “Flambé a la DPWolf-éâ€. However, once it was time to actually cook Melissa, it had seemed that ONE of the werewolves [and it just happen to be the alpha werewolf of the pack] had become accustomed to her face and had taken a liking to her, and he expressed this by singing the song “I’ve Grown Accustomed to Your Faceâ€. She had no choice as she was taken in as his fledgling, and she couldn’t help it anyway as the deep opera voice of the werewolf dude thing had sort of memorized her right there and then... well it was better than being eaten at that moment anyway. The days turned to weeks, and weeks to months and so on and blah blah as she spent time with the freaking werewolf dude guy thing. He taught her well as she was given extremely large quantities of mangas and comics to read in order to completely brainwash her and keep her attention from all the insane, dancing sombrero and poncho wearing chupacakras. Alongside with all the reading, she was also to watch an unhealthy amount of animés per day and was trained by the special teenage mutant ninja Cupcake to become the coolest pirate-ninja the world had ever seen by making her play some random video games on her PS2, PSP and DS. Melissa made everyone proud as she learned everything with a good will and heart, mastering them well. With all her new and pwn-shmex-some talents, she truly outdid herself , therefore earning the new name, DPWolf. *enter glorious music here... or just some HSM song or something* Later, DPWolf learned that because of her superiority, she was to become their next leader. And it so happens that they did not seem to care about the fact that she was still a human; mainly because DPWolf had become ONE OF THEM as she practically lived a couple thousand years with them. Just like Tarzan. *enter Son Daughter of Man theme* Unfortunately, it was on the night of the ceremony that DPWolf had committed a major crime. The dark cloud came upon her head during the night's hunt, when she had got separated from the pack and stepped out of the woods. It all seemed so familiar, yet a little distant... and as she walked around blindly and aimlessly, she accidently stumbled upon a teenager who just happen to be using his laptop at the middle of nowhere... well technically, near the woods; but still W-T-F. Whatever... Back to the story... It was really a ******ed moment as the two stared at each other for a few seconds before they both actually scared the bejesus out of each other, and young teen had made a run for it, thinking that DPWolf was some scary guy when she was actually a girl. When the teen did make a run for it to get his happy ass out of the forest, he’d dropped his laptop in the process. The strange glowing and square device he left behind had intrigued her. Since she always was the stubborn brave soul, she decided to check it out thoroughly and she slowly crept closer to it, inching her face closer to the screen with every move. Once her eyes met with the screen, she noticed that the screen read KH-VIDS.net. It was destiny as DPWolf suddenly gained the power and knowledge to use a laptop as soon as she read the line “KH-VIDSâ€, albeit she was completely illiterate to begin with. With the most lame sounding howl... or the Tarzan scream, she began searching the forums. Click! Another click! Click! Click! DPWolf was so caught up with the whole internet and KH-VIDS, its forums, the debates, and the pointless spam that she had failed to notice that her loving werewolf clan-family had been watching her with much hatred and disgust; for using the internet was considered blasphemy in the clan. The internet had gotten a hold of her well as it was twenty hours before she finally noticed her surroundings and realized her crime. Unfortunately for her, it was too late. They threw chickens at her, as well as Skittles before shunning her and exiling her from their land, which was just pretty much just some hundred acre woods. She begged and begged; she even did a sword dance with a Scottish kilt, but it was all futile. With her family exiling her she had no choice but to head for the city, and as she bowed her head and were leaving, one of the freaking bad tempered werewolves just decided to bite her in her ass real hard because they were just some betches like that. They only laughed and threw some more chickens at DPWolf, occasionally followed by a random Pikachu as she made a run for it, yelping in pain and with the laptop tucked under her arm. The more she ran the more she realized that the deadly poison from the betche’s teeth was spreading through her veins fast. She fell on the tall grass and began choking herself with her own bare hands. After struggling with herself for about an hours or so, she suddenly found herself turning into a wolf. Both astonished and horrified at the whole transformation, DPWolf spent some time screaming like a maniac. Once the transformation was fully complete she began to see the brighter side of it, as she was now basically a big cuddly puppy dog. With fangs. Considering everything DPWolf understood that it could’ve been worse, it was hell of a lot better than turning into Hello Kitty at least. So that night DPWolf wandered the grass lands and found a big rock she liked to call her home. Carrying the laptop with her mouth, she climbed the freaking rock and sat atop it, howling a sexy howl this time and began using the laptop again, posting posts, after posts, after posts in the KH-VIDS forum... until she was suddenly turned into a Moderator... And DPWolf has basically been on that damn laptop ever since... — The End —
*cue insane Light/Repliku laugh* OMFG, that was hilarious! Now I have some backstory for her in Kh-Vids.DeathNote
As soon as I saw who wrote this I knew there'd be some some trouble. XD..man...this was just a very interesting and fun to read sotry....though I still don't get what the "DP" stands for.
OMFG PYRO. YOU ARE MY HERO. xDDDDD I'd rep you...but apparently I also repped you recently. xD This totally made my day better. I had this open on my phone's internet, since my "work's gonna suck today" sense was going off, and when I read it on the way home...xDD Dude seriously, even I have not laughed this hard in a REALLY long time. And I laugh at the most ******ed things. xD *adds thread to favorites and puts link in sig* Redundancy, haha. xP That will be revealed... Eventually. 8D D'aww, thanks, you're awesome too. 8D *hugs*
I lol'd. Lots. xDDD Major pwnage. xDD I espeically like the ending, n' also the part about the radioactive cookie n' the mutant orange. xD N' how you kept referring to them as 'pwnsome werewolves'
I was afraid that people would have trouble understanding the story, but I guess I can take that back. xD Since it was all based on things about DPWolf, I also thought people wouldn’t find it funny either, and I was wrong about that too. 8O Well looks like it all worked out in the end, and even if people didn’t know about DPWolf as a person, it seems that the sheer randomness of the story made up for all the LULZ. <33 THANK YOU ALL, my sweet lovelys. <3 She's in Kh-Vids,DeathNote? I didn't know that/notice that. O_O Oooh, now that story will be a little extra sexy.<33 Glad you liked it, hun. ;) LoL tautology and redundancy. <33 Well, it definitely was weird... even I lofted an eye brow at the end of it and went "dude... wtf was that?". xDD Yes... all my work is hawt... because I -AM- hawt. *thrusts hips from left to right* But I'm really happy that you enjoyd reading it. ^_^- And you know what... even I don't know what "DP" stands for. D8 Aye, that be true. DP is awesome. <33 She IS all pwnsome like she's in this story. Thank you, hun, for taking the time to read it. 8DD Ah, the MAIN CHARACTER of the story herslef... :p Aww honey, THANK YOU... ZOMFGYAYGTFO! O: I'm someone's hero in the forums! *le gapeth* >_< See, the original was supposed to have been this long [or longer if I wanted it to be], but had to cut it down to two paragraphs at that time. xDD I'm just happy to receive a good review from YOU, and it's an obvious answer why. If it made your day, then just hearing THAT totally made MY day. 8D *hugs* I ish happahh nao. I made meh tiwn sistor happah. <33 Oh look!! It's the mutant we like to call O R A N—*bricked* Thank you, O R A N G E... *ahem* I thought it was appropriate it include that here. xD I donno why, but they just popped into my head as I was typing... and knew there would be some major pwnage in order. It was sexy nonetheless, no? BTW:: Congrats on being a mod! <33
XD. this was rather.....lol...interesting. and funny.... the skittles thing....and thr HSM music....that was funny lol. *thumbs up*
XDDD Very nice! I love how it's like all serious, then it's like "WTF?" XD If I could actually write, I'd totally ask if I could do this for others members, but alas, I have been cursed with perpetual writer's block. Yes, I know, it burns TT-TT
LAWL, that was the tone I was aiming for... starting with a serious tone, which just falls immediately down to a plain "wtf was that? O.o" tone almost immediately. And your thoughts give me an idea... 8DDD
With all these lovely comments, I believe that the story WAS a success. Thank you, love, for taking the time to read this. 8D
The sexiest girl ever gets an even sexier story, how awesome xD. I especially liked the chickens and skittles being tossed at her while she was shunned. Its so much like the kids throwing random objects at her in real life xD. Awesome job Pyro :3
O_O *cough* There are kids who throw random crap at her? D8 I didn't know that bit. xDD I threw things at her because I throw things. xDD Oh well, it worked nonetheless. LAWL. Thanks for the comment and for signing up. <33
ROFL!!ROFL!!ROFL!!ROFL!!ROFL!!ROFL!! xDDDDD I can go on like this, cause this is ROFL!! *applauds* Man, I need this mood lifter, so I thank you, and thank someone Holy for your presence here :P. This made my day.
YAY! I made the day for another person. *feels accomplished* Thank you, love. <3 You are my top editor/viewer. So this makes me happy. ^_^-
