Do you want children?

Discussion in 'The Spam Zone' started by LARiA, Sep 22, 2013.

?

So?

  1. Yes, I want to produce genetic offspring.

    58.8%
  2. Yes, I want to adopt.

    11.8%
  3. No, I don't want children.

    11.8%
  4. I'm not sure.

    14.7%
  5. I have children. (my god)

    2.9%
  1. Ars Nova Just a ghost.

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    Yes. Yes. Yes. YES.

    I have a problem with how much I want kids. I just want to be a dad ok. ;_; A good dad, unlike my shitty two. It's my dream. Adopted or genetic, or both! Really don't want an only child, if only because it was a miserable experience for me.

    Also steer clear of me offline if you hate kids because I will sense it in your aura and suplex you through a coffee table. I hate people who hate kids.
     
  2. DigitalAtlas Don't wake me from the dream.

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    This is why we're good friends with matching avatars.
     
  3. LARiA Twilight Town Denizen

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    Are you trying to appeal to me?

    And the Father of the Year Award goes to...
     
  4. DigitalAtlas Don't wake me from the dream.

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    As far as the adoption vs genetic thing goes that was touched on here...

    I'm pretty glad I was created :/
     
  5. Llave Superless Moderator

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    I guess I'm not entirely certain right now.

    I've always wanted to have children of my own, but honestly that's the most intimidating thing I can think of. In retrospect, it's rather a blessing to think about, to have a living legacy, something that is very much a part of you, as much as it isn't. Children are a conundrum, but a reminder of an answer to life. In it's basic form, it's the way to survive, but it's the survivor's way to live and to love.

    I think that having a daughter would be unexplainably joyful to care for, so I'd at least like to have one child of my own genetics, with my mate.

    But honestly, adoption is extremely appealing to me as well. The simple act of adopting a child that isn't originally from your cell family, and taking them in with opening arms is real love. In a way, you love them because you are CHOOSING them, as apposed to "being stuck with them" if they were popped out.

    I understand some people do not like children, or don't think they can handle them. I applaud those who realize that and live by that as opposed to people who have children and then don't take responsible approaches to properly raising their offspring.

    Kids are annoying, I'm a fool if I don't admit that. But they are kids. That's not to say that a child should act inappropriately, but they need to be loved and trained into people they are supposed to be. I know for a fact that if and when I have children, I know I'm absolutely going to be on wit's end about most things, but I know at the end of the day I will still love them. I guess that's why kids are so great, they are unpredictably predictable, and it's an instinctive thing to want to have them, for me at least.

    I won't think about if I raise them wrong, because the way I raise them is the only way I know how to. Of course if you treat them like crap that's obviously wrong, but I think it's poison if you're always questioning everything you're doing for your child. They will become men and women with their own choices, so in the end they will only take what they feel is most important from you when they are old enough. All I hope is that I do what I need to do because I want to.
     
  6. Janime6 the truest queen of them all

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  7. Hyuge ✧ [[ Fairy Queen ]]

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    Nova I will carry your babies.

    I had a hard time casting a vote only because I want to both have children and adopt them. I've always been a nurturer. My first job was as a babysitter. I always go hormone crazy when there are babies around and I get really sad thinking about the foster care system. If I was financially stable enough to have a child right now, I would. I don't know what I want to do with my life in the aspects of careers, but I do know I want to be a mom and pretty bad. My boyfriend and I have talked about it a lot and even when I was 15, I had said "I want four kids. I want to have two and adopt two. This insures that I will have two boys and two girls." My boyfriend isn't a fanvof the idea of four kids, but has at least agreed on two for now. He was an only child that was later adopted into a kinda shitty family. We have even considered doing foster care so that we can try to give some of these other kids families, at least for awhile.

    I want to be a mom and some days I get so sad over the fact that I'm not a mom yet that I debate whether or not I want go remove my contraception with myself, but know it's not the right thing to do. Everyone I graduated with is either, pregnant, married, both, or recently had a child and the entire relationship is about as long as the pregnancy. So I guess I feel proud that I'm not 20 and working on my second child with someone I've known for less than a year. Dear God. Although there are days where I admittedly do envy them.
     
  8. Ars Nova Just a ghost.

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    Ooh la la~

    That sounds lovely ; v; In my case, I want to be a writer, specifically for games, and I'll be lucky to be well-off on my own. Unless by an unimaginable stroke of fortune I marry into a rich family, two kids is my best-case scenario. But two genetic and two adopted aaaa now you're making me want dis

    Don't envy them too hard. Part of being a proper parent is having been a proper everything else first. Live a little, let some things go right and some go wrong. Then you'll have lessons to teach.
     
  9. ShibuyaGato Transformation

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    I'm really not sure.

    On the one hand, I've always been good with kids, despite the fact that they might be moody with their parents, but on the other hand the thought of that kind of responsibility scares me. I know how I was raised, and I know I'd like to place fewer restrictions on any kids I might have/adopt, but the thought of messing up or raising a delinquent always lingers in the back of my mind. I'm pretty unsure of about half of the decisions I make for myself, so how would I manage deciding how to raise another being? Plus, there's the thought of birthing a child, which also terrifies me.

    When I was young and oblivious to the whole process, I'd always hoped that one day I'd raise a boy and a girl who were close in age, but the major issue now is that I want to have a child with a committed partner who I know will be there, and I've yet to have even a single romantic relationship with anyone; I wouldn't ever want to go at it alone, because I always need a safety net when I make big decisions, and a loving partner who's as dedicated to the kid(s) as I am is my ideal safety net. That isn't to say I wouldn't adopt, however. I'm open to either, and so long as I could give someone a place to call home where people will love them for whoever they may be, I'd feel satisfied with what I'm doing.

    And as a side note, I understand that some people don't like kids, and that's fine, but they need to step back and realize that they were little snot nosed brats who needed an ass-wiping years and years ago.
     
  10. LARiA Twilight Town Denizen

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    Not everyone is glad they were created. That's a tough decision prospective parents face which is oft overlooked [by the parents themselves, no less]: If I conceive a child, will s/he appreciate the life I have granted them? One must toggle the risks, weigh the benefits. I personally am highly uncomfortable with the notion of bringing conscious life into existence (human intelligence!), hence my unwillingness to have children. Adoption, on the other hand? Guiltless. Owning animals? That's fine, too.

    LARiA = living, breathing personification of the Not Good With People trope ; would probably make for a poor parent
     
  11. Saxima [screams geometrically]

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    I've told everyone who has ever asked me that no, I don't want kids, and then I kept quiet on my reasons why because I just get argued with sometimes and it's really taxing, but I think now and here is a good place to explain myself.

    I had a questionable upbringing that has made me come to dislike the world around me and just not really trust people at all, and the thought of having a kid and there even being the slightest chance of them having to suffer through anything I did, it scares me and also makes me feel guilty because they were birthed from me. My parenting skills would also be questionable, and I honestly think I might abuse any child I have in some way, even though everyone thinks I'm this saint when it comes to dealing with children – I'm really not.

    Agreeing with Yave, bearing the responsibility of taking care and raising another human being, their lives being in your hands for god knows how long, that's scary, and I'm just not sure if I'll ever be responsible enough to provide a stable life for any kids I might have, which has frightened me into never wanting them. Why anyone would impose such a large and scary thing on themselves by choice sometimes baffles me when I really think about it.


    This is something I think, too. I'll definitely be doing it wrong and any kid of mine would probably hate me for being such a ****-up, considering by unstable person and issues with being decisive. I'm also worried that, even though I have control over myself, I'd become one of my unstable parents and my kids would have to suffer through this awful childhood of having to maneuver through drunken weekends and manipulate their mother into talking about something she's interested in just so she won't scream her head off at them when she's driving.

    Even though I feel like it's scary, I do have to admit, there's something almost charming about the thought of being able to influence a young human so completely, and how they grow up is in your hands. A part of me thinks I'd be a fun parent to have, even though I probably wouldn't, but there's also the thing about me having no patience . . . at all. I used to entertain the thought that I would have one child, and then whichever sex that child was, I would adopt the opposite. Having both a boy and a girl sounds ideal to me, since I never had a brother and I think it might have been something I needed, growing up. Having a sibling around your age, who you can try to identify with, who you can depend on, it sounds really fantastic, though it doesn't seem like it turns out like that all of the time.

    Then I came to think, No, I don't want my own child. That's too selfish. and then wanted to adopt both a boy and a girl because why would I want to bring a child into a world that I don't trust, that I hate, that I'm scared of, when I can rescue two children and show them that there's still a spark of hope left, and that not everything is completely awful.

    I think, straight, my strongest reasoning for not wanting a child is them having to go through what I did, not tell anyone like I did, and then turn out like I did, and I could do nothing about it. I guess, basically, I'm just scared because having kids means having to grow up myself.

    I might change my mind one day, maybe.

    There was probably more that I wanted to say, but I can't remember.


    I mean, to be honest, I like the thought of going outside and getting dirty while playing with my son, or even my daughter, and I like the thought that maybe my little girl will love her other parent/guardian and they'll dote on them and so will my parents and aunts and uncles and the rest of my ****ed up family.

    I want to believe that I would be able to raise a strong, open-minded child, adopted or birthed, to maybe even love the world I hate and the life that I provided for it. Having a child, in essence, is basically an adventure, and I'm honestly sure that there is so much life experience and wonder, joy, sadness, pain, happiness, shock and surprise to be had, and I love adventures.

    As I am now, even though all of that sounds completely wonderful, I don't think I'll ever be ready to have a child.

     
  12. Fearless A good and beautiful child

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    THIS
    ALL OF THIS.
     
  13. What? 『 music is freedom 』

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    This is the greatest description of children I have ever seen because it could go either way depending on which cultural lens you decide to read the word through.
     
  14. Misty gimme kiss

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    I want a child more than a lot of people would expect of me. I do admit that I am biased towards girls, I can't imagine myself with a son. I'd also only want one, maybe two kids.

    For my reasons, I just feel very strongly maternal at times. I like to nurture and all that cheesy shit. I'm a pretty cold person to most people but I feel that with a child I'd be the complete opposite. I don't have any particularly strong feelings about other children, there annoying ones out there and precious ones and ones in the middle. My mom raised my sisters and me really well (and alone at that), through some pretty adverse shit, so I know I'll have someone to look to for advice.

    I do get afraid that I'd switch between a kind mother and a very cold one, though. I worry a lot about fucking the kid up bad. If the kid were annoying or misbehaved, it'd be my own fault, so it'd be stupid to direct that frustration onto the child.

    As for the adopt / conceive question, conception would be my first choice, but I don't rule out adoption either. If there were some kind of complications (couldn't get pregnant, having some kind of complications (like if there was some kind of hereditary problem in me or my partner that could be passed down), etc.) I would absolutely adopt. I also think that if I was reaching A Certain Age and had no one to knock me up, I'd seriously consider artificial insemination or adoption. So yeah. I think that's "wanting kids."
     
  15. Peace and War Bianca, you minx!

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    Kids are a nightmare because they're a 24/7 thing, not because the work to do with them is hard. The actual work with them is neither hard nor glamorous, just a learning curve to begin with which turns into boring routine. It's a repetitive job for the first few years, then it's more diverse with imparting knowledge and thoughts, then it's educating and shaping behaviour moving on to academia and discipline, with the eventual development of social structures and learnig of hierarchy, before the teenage years.
    If your mentally strong or love the child whole heartedly, it becomes less of a chore and more a way of life.

    I think people forget that children bring more than just ****** nappies and tantrums, but also love, innocence and expanded lives. I've worked with enough different kids to realise that most the time parenting isn't the reason for kids turning out 'wrong' and a lot their own initiative and independence forming, albeit in less than logical or appropriate ways. They're kids, you're gonna teach him how to act in order to get the most out of life with their skill and ability sets.

    But on topic, I'll see what comes my way. Kids, no kids, adoption, infertility, or anything else. That sought of thought is for after i've found a partner with whom to live with and discuss such matters.
    I'd rather my memories pass on not only through communication but genetically too, if possible, but in the end, as long as love and affection has etched itself on another person's heart, I am more than happy.

    Ah, but not giving potential conscience life a choice of continuing life or not is a worse crime than making it for them. Give them the life, and let them do with it as they shall. Giving anything the freedom of choice is a blessing not a curse.
     
  16. Jiku Neon Kingdom Keeper

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    You'll find it in the trade paperback.
     
  17. Jayn

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    It would have been nice to have an option for adoption + conception. I'm open to both. I would like the experience of ~ making a baby ~ even though it sounds kind of terrifying but also think that adoption is an A+ option. I wouldn't mind having one of my own and adopting however many other ones.

    I used to want to be a mother without a doubt but then I realized I'm a terribly unstable person and that dream was kind of tucked away. As I am now, a baby isn't an option, but I intend to learn and grow as a human being and when I feel like I'm a better person and can give that child / those children the best I can give, I would really - above everything else - like to be a mother and a wife / lover to someone and have a family. I think family is the most important thing ever whether it's by blood or bonds you forge with others and I've just always wanted my own.

    Having a child isn't just about me, it's about whoever I'm having that child with and the life we've created together for ourselves and eventually for our kids. Assuming everything goes alright, I don't expect to shoulder the responsibility of a child alone and it doesn't scare me to go through the ~ magical adventure ~ of raising a child in a union with someone else who loves me and the child as much as I love them both. I don't plan to be impulsive or irresponsible about that.

    I think that raising children with someone you're in love with must be one of the most fulfilling things ever. Even if I don't become Beyonce in the world, if I'm able to have a child with someone I love and raise that child to adulthood+ with them, that's more than enough.

    If I don't ever reach that point of feeling stable and ready enough then I wouldn't have a child. If whoever I was with wasn't ready to have a child, we wouldn't until they were. [ Though whoever I was with for the long run would preferably want kids, I don't see myself ending up with anyone who didn't have the same / similar views on the importance family / wanting their own. ]

    But yeah I'm not going to force it if the time isn't right and it's not like I'm 50 or something, I've got a lot of time to figure things out and a lot of growing up and experiences to have before throwing a baby into the mix.
     
  18. KeybladeSpirit [ENvTuber] [pngTuber]

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    I want children someday because that way I'll finally have someone to whom I can teach my personal values. There will come a point when they realize that there is a very real possibility that I'm wrong, but until then I can pump them full of whatever anime is appropriate for whatever age they are at any given point in their lives. After that, all I can do is let them be who they are and hope that my teachings stick. If they do, then that'll be my reward for all the hardships I went through raising the kid(s).
    I would write up a great big megapost listing everything that you've revealed that you hate, but I have a feeling you'd hate that too.
     
  19. 61 No. B

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    I actually really want to see this. PM it to me or something if you care to make it.
     
  20. Jiku Neon Kingdom Keeper

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    Am I the only one on this site that thinks this guy doesn't actually hate all that many things?