Okay, so I have been in two long distance relationships that ended because of the same reasons nondistant relationships end. I have had many of my best friends say that it doesn't work and it is a waste of time but on the other hand I have had best friends say it does work and love is love no matter what shape or form. I even know people that married after 5 years of long distance dating but I am still not sure. Hoping some of you guys could help me out with this conflict I am having.
i have no experience in that but my brother has been dating a girl long distance for 3 years now and it is going pretty good. the only thing is he did his best to go to see her as often as possible, so usually like a week at a time 3 times a year. it works for them so it might work
It really depends on whether or not you have been with them before they left. I don't believe long distance built on online interaction alone works. Sure, there are exceptions, but its not a complete relationship. You can disagree with me as much as you want, but I will disagree. Long distance relationships if you have met the person before and if you were in a relationship prior to the moving, is possible. However, I don't think it's always a good idea. If you aren't 110% into it, then don't get into it. That way it's a waste of time. I was in a long distance relationship for over half a year, but I had met her before and we were in a relationship when she left. This was a 9 hour time-zone difference, being Washington State and Norway. One very important variable, however - How long is the distance?
You know my opinion on this because we have discussed it extensively, but I'll say it here anyway just in case it helps somebody or perhaps sparks insightful debate. No, they do not work. And the reason they do not work is that they aren't as strong or binding as a real life relationship. Few people are liable to to say no to a date because they have an online significant other that they haven't even met. And breaking up with the other person has significantly less consequences than in a real life relationship. You don't even have to explain yourself if you don't want to, you can completely disappear and never even speak to the other person. I've had that happen, and it hurts. Every instance of a long distance relationship I've seen has ended with one person getting hurt really badly. And all I want is for you to stop getting hurt
I agree with this right here. If you haven't met the person, don't waste your time. If you have been in a relationship with this person before said move, then it really depends on how long the relationship was going on before the space got between. And I think that if your planning doing a long distance relationship, then both parties have to really want it, for it to stay strong and to last.
In my experience, no. I was introduced to a girl once who lived about 2 hours from me(still kicking said person who introduced us). We met up and hung out allot for awhile, we had a few pseudo dates and eventually started really dating. We dated for half a year and got to see each other once or twice a month hopefully, talked all the time online, over the phone, and whatnot. Around the end of the relationship I could tell something was wrong. The crazed psycho then proceeded to stand me up, cheated on me, and then ignored me completely. I honestly to this day have no idea what happened, nobody does. But I had one of the most embarrassing moments of my life because of her. Long story short she ditched me, left me alone with her mom, and then tried to cuddle so she could get the damn umbrella I was holding because of a torrential downpour(one of those BITCH PLEASE moments happened then). Because of facebook people remind me that she's now marrying a german solider and moving to Switzerland at 18. Spoiler Ahem..my case is somewhat spudecial. I think long distance relationships can only work with two very level-headed, committed people. Even then, not getting to see someone for more than a few days every now and then can really strain a couple. As stated above, even trustworthy people aren't likely to pass up the opportunity for a date with someone in the flesh. I can say that it didn't and never will work for me.
It really depends on the probability (in some cases, possibility) of actual, in person meetings. Frequent ones at that. I've been in quite a few online relationships, and they all ended with at least one of the reasons being that we would never meet each other in all likelihood. You can really only hold out so long for a person you care for deeply without having even met them in person before you just want to have the real thing, and with that want, give up on the long-distance and go with someone you can see without needing a computer or a phone. Not that I was ever the person who gave up though, but can you blame someone for that? I sure can't.
A relationship in general shouldn't hurt so much just to want to be with them but literally can't without ruining the life you have or the life they have. And it's true, if both aren't committed enough in it or one of you sees it not working out then it won't. Yes the biggest problem is the no contanct, without holding hands or talking to each other in person, compared to talking over a phone or webcam, it just creates a sense of longing and need for affections and contact. Some times this can even lead to cheating on your other half because you want that contact so much that you find it in others. From personal experience, when I was in one it seemed beautiful and was going to work no matter the problems, now I realised it was almost doomed from the start for both of us. Really have to be able and mature to commit to it.
Depends on the relationship... If the two people met each other online and never met each other in real life cause of distance...it's not gonna work. Relationships include physical contact. I mean, who would NOT want to hold the person they love in their arms. Both sides are going to want this and might become not interested in the relationship anymore. There ARE exceptions, but it's rare. Actually most long distance relationships are tough, but it really matters on how much trust there is in the relationship, the distance of the long distance, and how clingy each of the partners are. A note about the distance....I think anything over an hour drive is hard to keep up.
I would disagree with the notion that all relationships that begin online are doomed to fail, I don't think it's quite that extreme, but without any more info on your part we may not be able to help as well. Really what it comes down to is distance, maturity, and how far apart you are. I can only speak for myself, but I have enough trouble when my closest friends are miles and miles away; I couldn't imagine having a boyfriend in the same situation. Distances can be traveled, of course, so if the two of you have the means to do so, that can work for you. But either way, both of you have to be incredibly devoted, or else you may end up in something akin to what Droid & Slaughtermatic mentioned. With IM and Skype you can keep in contact between visits, but that can't replace real human interaction. And I don't mean just the physical aspects of relationships there, either--they're important, obviously--but things like body language are also key to us relating with others. Furthermore, not everyone presents the same version of themselves offline & online. It may not even be intentional. I find that most are more reserved in real life than they are online (though it could go either way), and this is a big one for me, but idiosyncrasies. Everyone has little habits and such that, if added up, could make or break a relationship. If your interactions are 100% over the internet, you will have to deal with that. So really, there's no end all "yes they can work" or "no they can't." There are success stories and other not so happy stories. It depends on what sort of situation the two of you are in, and just how devoted you can be.
