Disrespectful Friends Rant

I'm sorry, but I need to vent.

Okay, so last year -- my senior and last year at the high school -- I started taking two freshmen friends of mine to lunch a while after school started because they knew I drove. After a while, a few more people came along; throughout the year, I had constant behavior issues with most of them and even had to ban one a few times because he was outright disrespectful at times. I had to slam on my brakes and pull over just outside the school one day because he yelled out the window at a girl walking by, "Nice ass!" I told him to knock it off, and he immediately followed it by, "I'd **** you!" which is when I slammed on my brakes in the middle of the road and pulled over at the same time.

This year, one of them -- and thankfully the one that didn't really ever cause trouble -- started asking if I could take them again. I agreed and got a few new people as well old ones from last year, including the one I finally banned for the rest of the year last year. They asked me every week; eventually, I just said I'd do it every Tuesday and Thursday. Now, the one that was banned last year one day found it funny to start putting the emergency brake on a little while I was driving. He got his license a while ago (he's 15 or 16), so he stopped coming, thankfully.

Here's where it gets interesting. This year and last year, one of the biggest problems was them just leaving their garbage and spilled food or drinks in the car. A while ago, my mom found food spilled all over the back of the driver's seat cover and later found a sandwich under the driver's side seat. Last week they ripped up the back of passenger-side seat cover, but that was an accident because a backpack zipper or something got caught in it when the friend in the front seat -- a respectful one, by the way -- pulled his seat up to give a friend behind him more room.

Finally, today we went to Burger King, and, of course, one of them was really giving me a hard time. When I told him to roll up the window so the AC could work better, for example, he back-talked me and just said "no" over and over until he finally did it. Well, when we got back to the school for me to drop them off, one of them put some sort of firecracker things in one of the Burger King bags that later went off in a puff of smoke. Now there's a small burnt spot in the bottom backseat cover (where you sit). I did notice that they started saying they needed to get out of the car while I was still pulling up to drop them off, so I suspect that's when he did it.

That "friend" is now permanently banned from coming when I take my friends to lunch. I've had it, and so has my mom who wants a word with that "friend." They're destroying her car -- her car. They know it's not my car because I've told them repeatedly. Additionally, my mom pretty much gives up her lunch hour on the two days I take them.

 

Simple. Don't take them to lunch. If they can't respect your things then they shouldn't have the privilege.

 

I don't know if you wanted advice or just to vent so I'll just leave this under a cut

Spoiler

These people sound rather mean-spirited, to be perfectly honest. Having you take them to lunch and then leaving a firecracker in the car? That could have turned out worse than just a burnt seat.

They really shouldn't be doing that sort of thing; damage aside, even leaving garbage all over someone's car is awfully rude. You've no obligation to take people you don't trust to lunch every week. The ones who treat you with respect, sure, if you want to -- but if you feel you're being taken advantage of, don't. It's not fair to you to have to go out of your way for them, only for them to damage your (mother's) property. It's very kind of you to continue helping them after all that, but just be careful and take your own well-being into consideration too.

 

I'd cut them off. If they can't respect your mom's car, especially when they KNOW it's hers, then they can shove it and find someone else.

 

WHY are yo fiends with these people, again?

 

Kids these days have no regard for the personal property of others.
Hooligans the lot of them.

 

Thank you, guys.

The problem is that they're not like that all the time. If one day I get to the point where I want to kick them out if it happens again, the next time they're not so bad -- not because they know, but simply out of a coincidence.

Just to vent, mostly. I would've posted this in Help with Life otherwise. c:

Well, luckily, it was just the seat cover and not the seat itself, but I agree. Instead of going straight back to the GED place, I went home and got a wet cloth and wiped around the area a bit.

Additionally, it was only the one guy, so he's banned. The others are fine... for now.

This is true. However, while I don't like them leaving garbage in the car, I'm more or less willing to let that go because at least it can be cleaned out easily. A burn mark, not so much.

Indeed. I took a very good friend of mine who graduated last year to McDonald's one day and we had a great conversation -- it happened to be about sex and sexuality, but still. I've asked them before if they were taking advantage of me, and they said no, but now I'm starting to wonder. Ironically, last year when they were freshmen (the original two -- some of the new ones coming this year are freshmen) and I was a senior, they had people find out that I took them and started asking them if they could come, indicating that the ones who found out were going to take advantage of me. They told me they only wanted me to take them and people they invited.

Unfortunately, I think that's a problem of mine -- I'm too nice. When I banned that one for the rest of the year last year -- the one who yelled at the girl -- I eventually started letting him come again when he sneaked into the car one day.

I'm not the only one they go with. Plus, they now have that one I banned last year -- sophomore now -- who has his license. They also have one of the new guys that started coming this year with us who's a 17-year-old junior who recently got his license. However, legally, anyone with a license under 18 cannot have non-family members in the vehicle with them. (Though I saw plenty of students and friends ignore it throughout my years there.)

 

Both of these, really.

If they don't have enough respect for your wishes and your mother's property, "them's the brakes". Not to mention considering your mom is giving up her lunch hour so you can do a favor for them, if they're being little shits, that's where helping them (and if it were me, being their friend :v) should be done.

 

I dunno. I just became friends with them like anyone else.

When I went to high school, I would usually start getting into conversations within the first full week and becoming friends with people, eventually asking for their phone numbers.

Well, I mean, we were kids and teenagers at one point, too, and we did stupid things. I used to get into a lot of trouble myself in elementary school, although most of it had to do with the situation I was in.

If anyone wants to know the story, I'll be more than happy to share.[DOUBLEPOST=1367966847][/DOUBLEPOST]

Having somewhat of a problem with being too nice (see my reply to Stardust), I always hesitate to do that because I don't want to seem or be rude.

 

These guys go to high school??
I felt I was reading about middle school simpletons. Geez......

Yeah, I would have to agree with the others. If they are going to be disrespectful to you and to your mom's car, I wouldn't drive them anymore.
They should be kind enough to remove their trash in respect for you driving them on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
If they can't act their age and be considerate to you for driving them, then they shouldn't get the opportunity to be driven at all.

Why did they even have a firecracker to begin with o.O?

 

You can tell them you don't want to drive them anymore without being rude. I mean if you're worried about that, you could always say that it's not feasible to go out of your way to do it anymore (too busy/have things to do, or what have you), or that you (or your mother) would prefer you didn't do it anymore because of the damage to the car. You're basically doing them a favor by driving them to begin with, so as long as you're courteous about it I don't think you'll come off as rude haha.

 

Well, I guess it's not so much "being rude" as punishing everyone for something one person did. Like in class when there are issues with students, the teachers will make them -- the ones in trouble -- stay after class and be late to their next class while the others get to leave, but sometimes they'll make all students stay after class. (This happened in my Systems of the Earth class last year.)

 

A lot of places don't have middle school. Where I live, middle school is just part of high school

 

There is here (sixth through eighth grade). c: Eighth graders are currently attending the high school, though, while sixth and seventh graders are being taught in portable classrooms in the middle school area because most of the school has been closed because of supposed earthquake danger. (We don't even get major earthquakes here!)

For a complete history, you can read this (there's a construction history at the bottom).

 

My high school used to be like that.
I meant "age-wise" how they were acting haha

=)
My apols

 

My car is a piece but if someone spilled something in there, let alone let off a flammable object, they would not be allowed back in it. Having friends and being fair and nice is all well and good, but you can't let people take advantage of you, especially in this manner.

 

Indeed.

My mom wants me to take them on Thursday -- except the kid responsible for the firecracker, of course, as he's not allowed to come at all anymore -- and then say I can't take them for two weeks for their behavior. That may change, though, to a more severe consequence. They need to know that there are consequences for their actions.

Also, what's a pos?

 

She may have edited her post before you replied, but if she said it where she mentioned "My car is a piece"
I am pretty sure she means "Piece of ______" yeah.....haha

 

Yeah it is piece of shit, I changed it to piece.

 

Just tell em "Look guys, cut it out with this shit. I'm not going to put up with it anymore, and if you don't like it: fuck you."

Of course it doesn't have to be in those words, but in situations like this being the most direct in the most assertive yet receptive way possible is the best way to handle it.