Coming Out Of The Shell

This may sound weird, but... how does someone get the courage to be more open and social?

All of my friends keep telling me to more open, more out there, and less anti-social which isn't horrible I guess, but it kinda bothers me because I try but when I do I come off as awkward. It usually ends up with me just standing there, smiling like an idiot while everyone else is having fun and conversing with each other.

I don't know what to do about it or how to come out of my shell and not be as shy which I guess would be the #1 problem. Any advice?

 

I guess you could try and ask a family member or friend you trust if they would be willing to "practice" with you. By that, I mean them asking normal person-type questions to you and you responding.

 

I used to have this problem in middle school. I was a very introverted character, I was so shy and so unsociable . . .

You should start small, you know? Try to go out with your friends a little more, have fun, tell them to bring a few people - they could be people you don't know, and you could become really good friends with them if you talk enough on your outing.

I wouldn't say you should throw yourself out there, because that could be really bad, and if you're nervous, you could say the wrong things and you'll end up feeling bad for it later and thing "Crap! I totally shoulda said something else!!"

Try not to be so tense about everything, if you have a sense of humor, laughter around others should come easier for you.

I wouldn't really know what else to say, but I hope this helps a bit. c:

 

Just talk, yell, give your opinion. I Am the same and I've learned, from just spectating chats and jumping from group to group, to just talk with those people. If they don't like what you say, oh well to them, if its awkward, smile and nod; you know what your talking about.
But make sure you know these people, and try to stick to their conversation topic! And you might want to think over what your gonna say.
If this was helpful I'm glad, If its not....I tried. This is my #1 problem, giving decent advice.

 

Be yourself around people like you. If you meet people not like you; move on. I think everyone above me has it down pretty well themselves.

 

You guys are right. Be around more people that have the same interests as me, and starting small. I do tend to say the... well they're not the "wrong thing" but it's like, it could've been a better response. x3


just have to get over the fear of speaking up. Though it's easier said than done. Heck even on forums (like this one) I have the same problem and it's not even face to face.

 

I'm a shy person by nature, so I kinda know what your talking about. It took me a while to become social. As others have stated, you should start small and have some friends with you to back you up. Thats how me and my friends did it. My friends would be like, "So you like blah blah blah? Well our friend Zack likes that to." And then the rest would take off, until I didn't need their help anymore. I hope these ideas help you any.

 

Really, just try to talk more, give your voice out. Try to include yourself, if you can, that is, and, just be yourself, of course. Being yourself is really all there is, don't worry about what others will think, of course.

 

Your right, I really should stop worrying of what others might think of me. Would it be bad if I started on this forum on working to how to interact with more people?

 

You could do that! But someone might call it off topic or bumping.

 

I mean like, talking with people I don't really talk to who are on my friend's list, and being friendly towards the new users. Is that a good start?

 

Oh, yes! That's a perfect start! Every new member we get, I've trying to at least post one thing and greet them. And I talk to people I add or who I haven't spoken with, to know them better, and to gain more experience.

 

I'll talk to you. *Insert Pedo smile*

 

this isn't a very easy thing to do and it will take time. i recommend taking it slowly, learn to make some small talk at first. when you're having a conversation, you don't have to fill every second with talking. there's bound to be awkward silences even with close friends, just ignore the silences. and one more thing, if you're next to people having a conversation, you're not excluded because they weren't talking to you. i found that you just have to say one thing that contributes to the the conversation and BAM! you're in. very rarely people will react negatively to that.

 

Everyone has to start somewhere. Most of the people I know here would probably say I'm outgoing and social, however, it's not really how I am outside of the internet, at least it didn't use to be like that. Luckily it has changed, and now I'm in another country where I'll be for three years, with people I've gotten to know over the last year. (School year 10-11). Start here, hell, I'll give you a "lesson" if you wish.

If you have an IM, or something else (I have another suggestion, but I'll post in your VMs so it won't be advertising), let me know in a VM.
Keep in mind though, socialising online is easier than in real life. That's just how it is, but as I said, and I guess everyone else, you've gotta start somewhere! Just realizing that you want to change is the first step in being more outgoing. Of course, the second is going out more. However, you'll get to that in due time.

 

I have the same problem, so I'm just going to tell you what I am currently trying.

For the confidence thing, when getting ready in the morning, look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself compliments. I know it sounds silly, but it helps (overtime) build yourself some confidence. And I know it does stink standing there while other people are talking, because it feels like you're just a waste of space, but your voice does matter, and at times it just boils down to you saying something. I cannot tell you how many times where someone was talking about something, I made a simple little statement, and next it's a full blown discussion.

Just believe in yourself, and the rest will come. c:

 

Yay? XD

Thank you everyone. I guess in the end it has to do with getting over the fear and getting the confidence to speak. I shall start working on that. =) for real this time. (last time i said this, I tried in my own way, and well... it ended with me leaning against a wall while everyone else was having fun x3)

of course it wont be easy, but if others can do it, then why can't I?

 

One thing to keep in mind though is to not try to be like everyone else. If you are a little quiet or you keep to yourself SOMETIMES that is fine.

 

Yeah you don't have to be like everyone else because is different and unique in their own way and you are unique to my friend because you are being social by talking to us so you're already doing amazing right now and don't worry everyone here is your friend too as am I :)