Code Bleach Chapter 1: Alternate Ending WARNING: This stupid story contains strong language. Read at your own risk. The turning wheels on gravel continued ringing in my ears. Strains of hay hit my face from time to time, but what bothered me the most was the heat. I’m sitting in this black jumpsuit, that’s more of a sweat suit. I know it was right for me to fake my death and everything things but shit son, I’m not that one flame guy from Fantastic Four or anything. I sweat as much, or even more, then these pigs around me, and man that’s sad. “Lelouch,†C.C said as I heard her flip around on the hay. “What?†It’s went silent for a few seconds. “Nothing, Just making sure your sure you were still breathing.†Why you little bitch... I thought with a grunt. Why is it I always do all the work, and how I evened up loving you…oh wait. It was just- “Holy shit witch, where in your gods name are we going?!?†I said in realization, noticing that all I saw around here was pigs and dirt, dirt, and more dirt of road. “Hmm..†I sat in silence again. Damn she’s slow. “No where in particular.†She said calmly. Holy shit. “Are you serious… I’M FUCKING SWEATING LIKE A 400 FAT MAN TURNING OVER TO GET MORE FRIED CHICKEN!†I yelled. I sat again, and again in more silence. I could have sworn I felt a tear left my eye. Or it could have been the excessive sweat I’m practically swimming in. “I smell pizza.†“Out here in the country? Your funny.†“No lie, I smell some fucking pizza.†I looked around and I saw ahead of us was in fact, a pizza joint. What the fuck? “Damn women,†“Told you. Stop here.†“Like I’d wanna go anywhere else.†We rod up and parked our hay off to the side. As if we were in some American old western movie where they tie there horses to the wooden posts off to the side of a bar. “Oh god, please say they have A/C.†I said as we walked up to the door. I could already feel it, and man did I wanna rip my sweat suit off. Just as I put my hand on the knob C.C grabs my hand and looks me in the eye. Her eyes told me ‘No Lelouch there’s something I need to tell you first..’ “What?†She just continued staring. Slow. Slow. Slow “I..†Just fucking say it already, I can handle anything. “I need some money.†She finally said. I felt as though my legs gave way and I seriously began crying my eyes out. Money, all she wanted was some money.. Oh that funny.. “I’m sorry to say, but I hav-†She cut me off with a slap to the face “What was that?†C.C said as she looked around like she didn’t even hit me. Total CnC. And I don't want anything about 'Ease up on the cussing. I already know, and I did that purposely.
That was great : D You seem to be missing a word in paragraph 12. It didn't make any sense. Otherwise, you have nice grammar, and spelling. This seems to be a very interesting story, and I'll keep my eyes on it. ^^
I thought that's what you meant.. *looks over and over* I forgot Pound. xD Thanks guys, I'll add my today.
This was funny. Especially the 400 fat guy comment. Does Lelouch hate fat people that much? (joke) Please continue! ^.^
Chapter 2: Pizza Joint When we entered, there was nothing unusual besides the empty tables. It looked like your normal Pizza Hut joint. Wooden glossy tables, tiled flooring clean counters and those lane dividers thingies. I asked the guy for a ice pack and he gave it to me with out a word. Loser. I thought as I walked back to where C.C was sitting. “Hey.†She said as I sat down. Not in a sorry way more like a annoying child wanting something from it’s mother. “No.†“Why?â€I didn’t answer, I knew what she wanted and it was some damn pizza. The plan would probably go like this. I‘d say “Excuse me, dumb ass.†And they guy would at me with that ‘What the fuck did you just call me face.’ And I would say, “GEASS POWER!†And the guy would be all head over heals for me and be like “What can I get you sir.†And I’d order C.C her pizza of: “One large pepperoni pizza with extra cheese.†And he would look at me with a sadistic grin, turn around and make the damn pizza. I’d go back to my seat and wait. It gets here and moomoo over here would hork it down. Yup, that’s how it would go. “You can always give the guy a lap dance.†I said to myself. Finding that C.C wasn’t even next to me anymore. She was ordering, or, that’s what it looks like. “Hey get me some cheese sticks. I’m kinda hungry.†“AND GET THAT IDIOT SOME FUCKING CHEESE STICKS!†She screamed in the guys face. I sat in awe, now that I think about it C.C saved my ass a few times. She can take care of herself. I’m not the man in the relationship…well there isn’t one so it’s not much. “So,†I said as I got up from my chair. I find that C.C had the guy in a choke hold and was holding a knife in her hand. Now this is sad. “Your threatening this man for pizza?†“And your cheese sticks.†I sat in silence thinking it through. It sounds as though she was blaming herself and I for her actions.. But mostly me. “Da’ fuck women..†Was all I could say. “You heard me, DO IT!†C.C said and let the guy go. He ran into a few things as he ran into the back. It sounds like he was making the pizza. Better be making those fucking cheese sticks also. “Lelouch watch him.†She said as she left through the front door “Bitchy cow goes moomoo..†I said with a sigh. I walked back to find the guy was really doing what C.C told him. He was all floury and was bloody from cutting fresh tomatoes and pepperonis. Legit pizza join. No wonder why she likes this place. They guy didn’t do much but stand around waiting for the pizza and my cheese sticks. C.C didn’t come back and frankly I didn’t care. I’ve seen her like this before but not over PIZZA. Why am I talking about her again… I shrugged and grabbed a chair from an office and just watched the guy. “Wait..†I said and the guy twitched “WHY DON’T I JUST USE MY FUCKING GEASS POWER?!?!?!?!†I screamed at the guy and I swear he pissed his pants. At that moment a timer went off, it sounded faint but close. Like it was hidden under a light pile of clothing or something. “Alright give me my free shit.†They did as he was told. The pizza was hot on my hand, even through the glove. “Oh hey can I also ge-†I stopped talking and the guy sat down like he knew what was going on. Clickclock, clickclock was all I heard. It was fast, like a running horse… “Oh shit..†KA-BAAAAM! Right at that moment C.C busted through the wall with one huge horse. This is another thing I hate about the country. There not up-to-date with technology. “Hurry the fuck UP!†C.C said as she held her hand out. I told hold of it and before I had a hold she took off. Right as we left through the gaping new door way there was a huge explosion. “Holy Britannia, what was THAT?!?†“Well…†She said and I sat in fucking silence again. “Tell me.†I said breaking that awful silence. “I made that guy eat a bomb.†I just looked at her with a weird face. A Face that Jim Carry would make, sorta like a gofer. “Where’d you ever get the bomb?†“Home made.†“You did that all for pizza?†“Hell yeah, shit son when you’ve gone 3 hole days with out pizza you doazy things..†“……†She then looked at me as I grabbed her ass. “How are you NOT FAT from eating pizza EVERY DAY!†Now this one came out weird. It wasn't how I planned.. I hope you guys still like it tho... .___.
Oh. My god. That. Was awesome. Thank you. You spelled a few words wrong, but no major issues. Great chapter! xD You kill me, Skitz.
Total CnC~ Very good start to your fanfic, Skittles. I really liked it. The cursing works. :3 There are a few typos in it, but otherwise you did a pretty good job grammar-wise. Can't wait to read more.<3
Wow. XDD This made my day. Cracked me up. I do agree with Kites that there were a few typos but overall it was good. Can't wait for the next update. 8D
