Child Discipline

Perfect wording, Repliku.

My parents always got the message across by slight physical contact such as a slap on the mouth, or a swat with a slipper. I shows the kid that you arent joking around. That you mean it. While that doesn't mean you need to bring out a cane, small things like that show the kid that you're serious.

 

if im bad now, my daddy takes my laptop away D: i used to bge a real bad kid though with detention every day. i used to get hit by my mum n dad and i hated it! but wen i see little kids screaming at their mum who isnt doing anything bout it, i just wanna kick their head in ><

 

i believe they do - theres this girl in my grade - who's been a total biatch coz she never got disciplined.. she's on drugs, spreads rumours, and drinks, smokes etc

her lifes gonna be short if she continues

 

It think it would be based on something more than just the fact that her parents didn't discipline her.

 

that's true, but a hitting hand MIGHT be able to put her BACK in hand :wink: like my pun?

 

I think that children should not be smacked. it damages them emotionally and also... I was smacked a lot when I was little. I am now 13 and my brother hits me a lot too. I can't play sports like soccar/ tennis because whenever the ball comes towards me I think it's going to hit me and hurt me. I beleive more in methods like the naughty step method for discipline

 

So it's better to just let a kid do whatever because they are too dumb to listen when you say stop a million times? It seems you are traumatized so you should just tell your brother to stop and if he doesn't, tell your parents it's really upsetting you that he keeps doing it and it's stressing you out. There are other methods but when those don't work, sometimes a kid needs a little swat. It seems to me you were just slapped 'too much' perhaps but really, get over the issue with the ball thing by actually stepping up. Even if a ball hits you it doesn't really hurt that bad (unless someone is throwing it at warp 9) and a silly phobia like that sucks.

 

o.k. you are intitled to your opinion but he will never stop. EVER. and it is not a silly little phobia. If you wore glasses and had been hit with an exercise ball at the age of 7 in the eyes, which then caused you to get CONJUNCTIVEITUS how would you feel?

 

depends on how bad the kids are because spanking or hitting the kids should be the last option but using that option should be allowed when the kid becomes completely out of control.

 

yeah but limted how hard they hit and if their teenagers just show them barney or teletbuies for my parnets i got spanked 3 times and when i did some thing bad but not super mad my dad told me to sit in a chair for 30 mins and stare at the wall while my little bro watch tv and i missed my favroit show lol

 

well i suppose spanking isn't nessacary ONLY if the parents find some other way to adequetely discipline the children that will actually make them stop doing bad things.

 

I'm against all kinds of violence be it as disciplinary measures or not. If you are having trouble connecting with your child, a spanking is not going to do any good; it's just going to distance the child even more from the parent and nothing can be as damaging for a child as feeling unloved by their parents. I'm not saying you should let a child behave badly, but violence is not the solution. Although I'm no expert on children, I'd say explaining to a child what they did wrong and giving them a punishment that doesn't affect their physical or mental health is a much more effective way. The last thing you'll want to do to a child with behavioral problems is to destroy your relationship with the child. From what I've seen, problematic people often seem to have bad relationships with their parents in which case even therapy will most likely be a better choice than resorting to violence.

 

I'm not sure where I stand in this arguement. My mother might have been considered abusive at some points in her discipline, but I believe it's made me a better person. I'm at the top of my class in school, I have a strong sense of morals, and I think really deeply about certain issues. I don't think this is a direct result of physical discipline. But I've always been really considerate of my actions and how they affect people, and I've never considered using illegal substances or doing something that would harm myself or others.

I suppose it depends. Punishment when it's neccesary is important. Punishment that's excessively cruel isn't, needless to say.

And as for my mother and I's realtionship, it changes daily.

 

That's not the issue at hand. Both extremes fail, and in most cases the child that is "too dumb to listen" is that way because of their parents approach. The fact is that rules should be implemented and enforced with understanding. Simply associating a smack with an action out of turn doesn't promote any real learning; the child is just conditioned to an authoritarian style of parenting. Even explaining afterwards to the child that they were hit because they did something wrong still doesn't explain the hitting. The relationship between "right" and "wrong" still becomes governed by a fear of being hit. This can cause a great deal of stress in child for fear of screwing up and therefore comes to effect self-esteem. If punishment is to be given, an ultimatum does nothing but become a provocation and lazy approach. Affecting the child's world directly through secondary associations like removing TV or video game privileges hits much harder all the while maintaining that he/she is still liked and loved.

 

yes i AM SO SORRY for making the poll options so extreme, i made this thread over a year ago :sorry:

EDIT: also, there comes a certain time when spanking isn't nessacary anymore like when the kid is mature enough to listen to reason.

 

I never said that someone should hit a child because of an action alone. If talking and comprehension works, by all means that is the approach that should be taken. However, some kids just look at you like 'not another lecture' and roll their eyes at you. This includes children that really lack any sense of benevolence to others and sometimes hurt others or do things like trying to set things on fire, torture animals etc. Also, those kids who gripe they want crap in the supermarket and grab candy, kids that try to walk in the street unsupervised at young ages, kids that cuss out older people for no reason etc. You do need to measure things out in what you do and walk away if discipline is just going to be a parent venting.

I was physically abused as a child and not the 'abuse' that people go on often about today, though real abuse does happen, so I don't want to make it sound like a dying thing. I was smothered with pillows, punched, kicked, grabbed around the neck, banged into walls and the floor, tables shoved into my ribs and I have a scar on my face from my mom tossing me into a vacuum cleaner with an off/on switch and the reason was because I was jumping on the bed at 5 years old. I do not believe in -abuse- to any level. However, I can say that though my mother abused the crap out of me, I was only ever hit by my dad 3 times and each time I totally knew I deserved it because I was not paying attention to him and giving him a tude. I deserved what I got and that discipline did make me better and realize I should not do the acts because they were wrong. For most things pertaining to my father, I listened because he was level headed and stern when he had to be but never over the top. I totally stopped paying attention to my mother at age 12 because she simply could not physically really harm me anymore. Her words still were painful as she told me she wished I was never born etc. So really she made me have a lot less respect for her than I did my dad, who knew to deal with me firm when he had to and to talk to me a majority of the time.

You are absolutely right when you say discipline should be dealt with understanding. That was not my point at all. The deal was that the person was not looking for ways to cope and instead just blaming things on others. There are children out there who are actually seriously abused and there is a difference. Sadly, the children who actually get it often are not seen that way and the children who want more attention instead get it. Children who get beaten on till they see speckles before their eyes don't say things to others until years later when they have gotten free of that. I know that is true for me and several others. A smack on the butt or hand isn't going to scar a kid as bad as something worse that could happen because the kid doesn't want to listen to reasoning and thinks it's for nothing of a cause of attention.

 

oh i'd like to bring something else up, you're free to not hit your child but attempting to discipline them and somehow having it not work is worse then not disciplining them at all.

 

I am not a big fan of 'hitting' a child

I always figured out that timeouts would work, and when they scream and cry, then let them! They are only kids and they'll get to learn when they get their 'timeouts'

trust me on this, i'm a freshman now, and i grew up getting 'spanked' on many levels =/

it's not right and i count it as harrasment


last time i got 'hit' or 'spanked' i told the last person who done it, next time, i'll dial 911

 

sounds like someone went overboard with you. but i would personally spank a kid who threatened to call 911 on me.

 

well, explain to me what you would be doing in a situation, where you're about to get hit for something that you didn't do, or didn't mean to do? =/

btw, running away just makes it worse