Yeah this has no title I just made that random title up >> I was thinking of a little girl I know when I wrote this. 11 o'clock inspirations ftw? >> Cnc please <3 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ How do you tell a child that mommy doesn't love her anymore? And that daddy is never coming home, That she will never see her family hug again, And why her brother and sister moan. How do you comfort a child's tears? When its all they have left to cry, How do you give them a hug and kiss, When they just want to go and die? How do you tell them that it will all be okay? When you know its just a lie, And you want to tell them the truth, But its the sadness in their eyes. How do you react to a child's screams? When you know they're not okay, But they hold their tears and bite back pain, And say they're okay anyways. How do you tell a child that mommy doesn't love her anymore, And that daddy is never coming home, That life is just one cruel game, And there is no such thing as home.
Its beautiful! The words go perfectly together, and it flows so nicely. And the home part is true v.v +Rep
Writer's Critique... Hmm...Usually this is where I would give a critique, but... I'm looking through the poem and I really don't see any major errors. Nothing I can really nit-pick at (other than that "its." (which I'm not entirely sure of, because isn't "its" a possessive noun while "it's" is a contraction for "it is?") I don't know. It just nags at me for some reason...) Rhyme scheme is good. Form is pretty well done. It flows beautifully. The main idea is easy to understand. In short, good job. :)
x3 Thanks Yeah I never really paid attention when we were learning that in like 2nd grade ._. And I passed Destiny Force's critique!! O: *lol miracle? XD*
Omg, that was so beautiful.. I sheded a little tear for some odd reason... D:> It was so.. wonderfully written, the words flowed.. in all it's a lovely poem. <33
