Well, I think I've just realized that I am one of those poor saps who falls in love with someone online after having a broken relationship with someone in "real life." Here's my story... I joined KHV almost a year ago and, around the beginning of the year was taken in by the [KHV] 358/2 Days Fandub Crew. I stuck with them through thick and thin, making friends, supporting my new friends, contributing to the dub, coming up with solutions to problems... You get the picture. But, I got one thing that I didn't bargain for. As many of you have probably been witness to, relationships can suck. I mean, MAJORLY BAD times, right? So, I think that it goes without saying that any guy in his late teens who has any charisma or assertiveness can go out and attempt to get a girlfriend. Apparently, I'm more physically attractive than I thought, because a girl who I had met once or twice saw me at a cafe/market on my computer, playing MapleStory and decided to come over. She wasn't the picture of my "perfect partner." Heck, she was a ways away from that! But, as I was 18 and, (gasp), had never had a girlfriend before, (I lived in a group home for 90% of my life, so you can't blame me), I started getting a little giddy when she started hitting on me. I kept blushing and giggling like an idiot as she kept brushing her knees against mine. We hooked up a little less than a week later. That was in August of 2008. In November, we broke up. She had her issues, and I had mine. Thing was, I felt fine about it. The relationship had been growing more and more distant for the last few weeks and we both decided to separate. Two weeks after we broke up, I started really feeling the hurt. At the end of those two weeks, I was in a crisis house and she was in a mental hospital. We had both gone slightly insane after we went our separate ways. So, the week of Thanksgiving was spent in a crisis house for me. I got out the Saturday after and stayed at a friend's house. Then, I went home. Done. I was still hurt. But I was fine. I would live. In January/February of 2009, Mike, (Reporter/Video Producer for KHV), started a project that piqued my interest. It was a fandub group that would dub the Japanese scenes from the then upcoming release, Kingdom Hearts: 358/2 Days. I joined, as I pride myself in being able to act fairly well. I met all kinds of people. Mike and I, as well as several others, starting chatting and planning right off the bat. It was great! Then, near the beginning of summer, some things started happening, not only with the dubbing group, but in my life, as well. I had been single for going on six months. I had jokes with people about how I'd get my "perfect partner" as my next girlfriend. I didn't. I had known a girl for a while who was going out with someone who I thought was a friend, (please, don't ask). They had been going out for a while, but, like me and my first partner, this girl and her first partner were starting to grow apart. So, they broke up. Then, as I had hung out with the guy for a while before the two had been together, I started hanging out with the girl. We fell in love and are still together. But, even in love there might be problems. I, apparently, am a little too flirtatious. I just realized a few days ago why it was that I hadn't been updating things on my forum accounts and MySpace/Facebook, etc. I have a crush on someone who doesn't come on much anymore. She was fun to talk to and I'm starting to realize that I am obsessed with her. It's not like I'm going to track her down, or anything creepy. She's fascinates me. I don't know how many of you have seen the movie "American Beauty," but I feel a lot like Ricky must have felt about Jane. Minus the creepy video recording crap. Hell, take the camera out, completely! At one point during the movie, Jane confronts Ricky and says, "You were the creepo who was video taping me last night." Ricky just smiles and says something like, "Don't take it personally. I find you interesting." And he walks away. That sums up how I feel about this girl. It sometimes comes across as, "Whoa! What the hell? That's creepy!" I can assure you -- it's not. So, I have three questions that I'd like to leave open to you, the forum-goers of KHV: 1.) How can I keep from getting into harmful relationships? I want to meet new people and maybe become close to some of them, but I don't want to get hurt again. My very first girlfriend was kinda, shall we say, "unstable." I don't plan on dating a nut-case again. Unless they're lovable. *glances at current girlfriend* 2.) How can I deal with the emotional spiral downward after breaking up with someone with whom I've just had a really intimate/emotional relationship? Once again, I don't want to get hurt that badly again, if I can help it. 3.) What should I do about my "crush?" I know that crushes are natural, but what about when you're already with another person? I want to be faithful to my girlfriend, but I have feelings for someone else! I have so little experience with this kind of feeling that it's like being lost in the woods on a moonless, starless night with no map or flashlight. By the way, I refuse to tell who it is to anyone I don't trust, so keep these things in mind before you ask: 1.) Are you in my friends list? 2.) Did you know me in March of 2009? 3.) Do I talk to you on a regular basis? That should about do it! If I have anything else, I'll just either post it in this thread or edit this post! Discussion opened! - Ol'Sephy
Wow dude, I mean wow. That's quite a story. Sadly, I'm not as wordy as you so I might not be able to give a substantial answer. To tell you the truth, I have an internet girlfriend myself. She's a little nutty, but totally lovable. I will admit however, I have had crushes on people during my time with her. It was strenuous on me too, because I wanted to stay faithful to her. After some struggle, I got over my crush and I've stayed with my girl ever since. Always stay faithful, It is the only way to live without guilt.
well i dated this girl for 10 months and we broke up and i felt bad the first night but thats as far it went and has gone in all my relationships i dont really understand why people get all depressed and go crazy well about the khv girl you like seriously forget her (if she no longer comes on like you claim) also she could be any one or live very far from you i think that you should focus on people that live near you and well dont get too caught up in releationships and though shyness kicks in you have nothin to loose asking them out if she rejects you then she's not for you move on and get one who is interrested in you because that means you might have more in common and can fascinate each other
I had a KHV boyfriend but we kept on drifting apart. We broke up because we wanted to be friends. (only awhile ago) I did feel really bad about it, but I moved on a new that I'd find someone else. Just keep moving forward and try not to conder in your past so much. It might help in future for other relationships but otherwise, don't if it hurts too much. If you're getting scared of being un faithful to your gf then try to block out any romantic feelings for any other girl. If you feel you're getting hit on then just try and get away.
We can be a little nutty sometimes. Try controling your emotions more. The first break-ups will hurt you no matter what but several after that you'll be completely dead on the inside when it comes to break-ups they do hurt but after enough break ups you'll be used to it
I, too, am a sorry sucker that dates over the internet. I online dated a boy named Zero. In my mind, he was PERFECT. He was everything I liked in a guy. Until he cheated. Internet or not, love is all the same.
Well with online relationships you have to be careful. It's important that the two people involved are honest from the get-go about their ages and appearances. It may seem shallow, but it's important, especially if you plan on meeting up someday. After a certain degree of trust is established, calling the person over the phone or via Skype is a good idea, just because it'll further confirm that you're talking to someone who isn't some sick pedo. So yea, if you take a few precautions, dating over the internet isn't a bad thing at all. EDIT: My bad, I should read more. Well yea, it's pretty much already been said: you just gotta move on and keep looking for the right one. Don't let a breakup completely destroy you.
I'm not a fan of online relationshps. Don't believe in them, for the obvious reasons. But I've gotten pretty damn close with people online. There's a person with a red name viewing thread right now who's dating someone else with a red name on this site. From what I hear, they do alright. I understand perfectly what you mean about the American Beauty. That's something interesting. I can vouch. Like I said, I don't think online relationships are the best thing. But if you really care for the person, and know them, and have at least seen them on webcam so you know it's not a fake profile (lol) then give it a try. Be wary of the commitment issues tho EDIT: THe person in red responded before me
Hey, if you're ever suffering from a harsh break-up. Just try to spend as much time with your buddies as possible! They'll help you through it, and you'll come out on top. Hey, it's normal to have an online crush. I even have one on here! Just believe in your yourself, and stick to what you trust (and who you trust). Believe me, you'll find the perfect partner soon enough. (I'm one to talk, I've never had a girlfriend before.)
There is always a chance of you getting hurt in any kind of relationship. I know that is probably something that you do not want to hear, but it's true. When you do get hurt, generally the best thing to do is talk to someone about it I think. Also, if it is a friend that hurt you, you should confront them about it. From personal experience, this is the best way to go. It cancels out any un-necessary drama by not involving other people. Well, I would say that you just have to guard your heart. Don't fall for anyone too fast. Be sure that you really trust the person before you start onto that kind of relationship. If you do break up with them, and you feel badly about it, talk to someone. Really, the best thing you can do, is get your feelings off of your chest. Not only will you feel better after talking, but the person could probably give you some sort of advice. Maybe from their personal experiences of maybe they just know how to deal with things. From my understanding, your crush is someone from KHV while your girlfriend is someone you know in real life. I think that it would be best to stick with your girlfriend, mainly because you don't really "know" this un-mentioned person. I know that she fascinates you, but maybe just try to push that away, you said that she doesn't come around much anymore, so she may of changed from the last time you have talked to her. I would just wait everything out and see what happens. Internet relations are doable but you have a girlfriend of your own right now. I would see how things go with her before you even try to start a "relationship" with the online crush. I think that that would sort of be cheating. I mean I don't think that there is anything wrong with meaningless flirting, you just have to be careful.
Wow David... That's quite a tale, I wish you'd said something to us if it was bothering you, but then again, I can see the reason wanted for an external opinion. Well, here's my two cents regardless. There is a definite difference between a crush and love. Crushes are basically wanting to be around a person a lot more, whereas Love would be the physical devotion and want to be with them, at least the way I understand it. I've had my own examples, such as a friend who recently broke up with her boyfriend. She said to me "I went with him because he was a crush, but in the end, I didn't feel any love developing further". It was quite mutual to my understanding, and it was on good terms, but that's not the point. There is a clear divide between the two, and as long as you know which side you stand on, you'll be fine. Besides, I can't see you upsetting Sonia like that. Personally, I see nothing wrong with internet relationships. In fact, I can see it as more insightful, as you aren't basing the relationships of off looks, or Sex appeal, but the person's Personality, and in my experience, people tend to be more "themselves" online. There's no one they need to impress. people's personalities are a key factor in relationships, and making them work. David, I can completely see where you're coming from in this view. You want to meet someone who you find interesting. I'm the exact same with you and the guys, there's nothing unusual in that respect. Being a tad too flirtatious can be dangerous, I'll admit, but again, I can't see you making that kind of cock-up.
I dont think its wrong, I just believe it's tough. I mean, you can't even hold hands or hug eachother, or do pretty much anything physical to display your affection. They have the potential to not be as strong, but I respect those who make it work.
