The way.(Sora Awesome Songs.) Ok this is where i'm going to post all my songs most likely nobody even likes them and nobody even read them but what the hell-fake smile-Enjoy reading this or singing it or whatever. Oh oh. Oh oh. I woke with a smile on my face. Everything was going fine that daaaay. Till. I saw you. You told me. You just want to be friends. Heart break down. Didn't know what to say. Break me down. A broken sky. A broken heart. I open my eyes. Said nothing and cried. Heart broken down. Broken sky. Broken life. Everybody got somebody to love. But when it comes to me. It nothing. Just a broken heart. Come and tell me everythng. That.. You said to her. Lala Tell me why oh. Tell me why. Tell me.... Broken. Broken hearts... Broken skies... One. Broken life Hoped you guys liked.If i did't spell anything right tell me and i'll fix it:crashcomp::lol::sly::<3::cheers: XD Have a good day or night or whatever lol
Hey, don't feel down someone will read your work (someone=me). I have a few things to say about this though. One being it didn't really have the song rhythm or more it didn't feel like a rhythm to a song, ya know? Now, I would be the last person to tell you poetry has to rhyme, but I would be the first to tell you a song needs to rhyme (poetry and an actual song are two different things [not completely though]) I would consider this more of a poem with a decorative layout. I liked the idea behind it, for a song though like I said it was lacking not only rhythm but rhyme. You do make lovely poetry though ^_^ keep it up.
Good poem/song. Really strong and emotionally driven! I corrected (I think) every spelling fault you made and bolded them. As I said earlier, it has a strong meaning and it's something, I think, a lot of people can relate to (which is very good when writing lyrics/poems). I'm looking forward to your future work, keep it up! :)
I agree with Night on the absence of a rhythmic scheme. I couldn't really piece together how it was supposed to flow as a song. As a poem it is quite good, but like Night had suggested, a rhyme scheme and a pace for rhythm would give it more of a song vibe. As for the actual song itself, I agree with king_mickey; it had a strong, emotional feeling for it, and the anaphora you used on the lines stressed the images of the world of and around the audience crumbling. I look forward to reading more. c:
Miss Tell me what i did't do right. Tell me everything will be alright when i wake up. This dream of mine. Will never be. This day of nothing. Will never be some thing. Cuz i been crying every night. Been thinking what is right. Ohh no. God save me now. Take me to a better world. Where their no more war. No more fights. No more hateing. Take me where the skys are blue. No rainin days. No bad songs. No bad things. Take me where. There no more war. No more. Take me where the sky are blue. Take me where. I am loved. . . .
I sense a lot of soul and pain in these lyics. But when it comes to singing them. It's tricky, but I could come up with something. I love your writing. I'd love to see more, but maybe something brighter:)
Is this a second one? It's good as well, but just for future references, you can make a new thread for your stuff, it will make things easer to focus on one instead of two. (I'm assuming this is a second poem, so forgive me if it's not...) The first one is really strong, i loved how you divided it up, it really sets a beat in your mind. I love how each section has a particular theme to it. The first part is about losing the love, and the second is about how everyone else has it. I was in a love depression for a bit, but i find writing about my feelings really help, it's a way to express, for we all have emotions. I liked this one a lot, it felt like i was saying it. so you really dove into the psychological part of this song, and sometimes thats really hard to do. But you did:) As for the second one, that is phenomenal! i loved every line, and i'm am a hard critic, so you did great with this one! Words are powerful, and i felt an armada of words just blew me away. I like how you wrote it, it's very informal, and that's what i love best about it! You are pouring out your inner feelings to us, and if it wasn't informal, it would just be weird. I noticed that you also had color for each, which i took as the mood of the song/poem. for the first one, you used blue, which i took as it symbolized the narrator's pain and feeling blue. the second was a gold-ish yellow color. I felt that was representing wanting peace and symbolized Heaven. So I applaud your work, you really are good at what you do. I don't care if you throw a professor online to read this and then me, i liked it, and as long as one person admires your work, it's worth sharing! So keep it up, i await for more songs and or poems that really move me! hahaa thanks for sharing your work:)
The lyics The lyics This is for you... For the kids who are crying every night. For the teens who get bullid. Listen what am i sayin.. What i'm singing Listen to the lyics. I know everything will be okay. You might be in pain. You might want to fall down. I know that But. There is a way. There a way two be happy. Smile and listen to the lyics. Or just read them. Or just sing them. Or just dance. I know how it feels. To feel like there nobody there for you. But there is somebody watching over you. It ok to cry. It okay i said. Listen to the world saying. It ok. It fine. Everybody crys. Listen. When ever your sad. Listen to the lyics Or just read them. Or sing to them. Or even dance. Your worrys away. Away. Aaa. There a song in everybody. This is for the kids who are crying. This is for the teen who arre bullid. This is for you. Ohhh. This is for you. So listen,Read,Sing,Dance to the lyics
*Applause* Well done. I think a lot of people could read this one anytime they're feeling down. It raised my spirits!! Nice work, keep it up:)
Pray Lill girl sit down.Crying her self to sleep. As she crys. She prays. She prays. Give her a life. Give her happyness. Give something. Give her faith. Lala Give her faith She awakes to the yelling of her family. She crys cuz what been happening. She crys. And she pray Give her. A lill home to go to. Give her hope. Give her a lill faith. Ohh. Lala Give her something. Give her. A faith. Lill girl it okay. To feel like. There nothin. Lill girl It okay to hurt. Lill girl. Pray with me. Pray with. Lala Pray with me Lill girl. Lill girl it okay to cry it okay to pray. It okay to hurt. It okay to pray. It okay to cry. It okay. It okay to cry. It okay. Lala. Sing with me. Lala. It okay.
I like this work as well. It's a message we can all use when we feel down. That it is ok to cry, and show emotion. For those who think bottling it up means your though, that's just another form of weakness.
Thanks you guys rock! The gold lies Listen to me.When i say something. Listen to me.When i say.I'm sorry. I'm lying.He nothing.He hurted me.Why am i sorrry? Some one tell me.Why me. . Somebody save me. Somebody tell me the gold lies. The gold lies. Tell me everything is alright. It alright. Somebody tell me. The boy has fell.(fell) Life is a game. That everybody plays. Why can't i be like in the movies. Why can't it be. Oh some one tell me. . . The gold lies. The gold lies. Some one save the gold lies. The grand old gold has lied. Oh,Oh,Ohhhh no no no. Oh,Oh,Ohhhh no no no. The gold lies.Into the last night. She lies.Into the night. He lies into the night. Friends lies into the night. Family lies into the night. The girl asked why lie? The girl asked.Why fight? The girl said.This is my story. And this is how it gonna be. It gonna start with me smileing. The gold lies.Gold lies.Sleep tight. The gold lies.. The gold now don't lie. The gold never lies. The friend don't lie. The boy don't lie The family don't lie The girl don't lie. Everything is alright
2 New songs enjoy Spoiler Take me. To a world where there Is care. Where there no war. Save this world. Stop the lies. Take my heart. And save this world. You could stop this war. But we're fighting over nothing. God didn't let his son die. For us. To have war. Maybe if we say we're sorry. Maybe we can save. This world. Stop the lies already. And if we can't. Oh we can't. You take my heart. And save this world. Take me. And stop this war. Take ny soul. Take my heart and soul. And save this world. As long as this war is over. As long as this world is better. As long as kids are livein. As long as everything is alright. It time to end this war. It time. It time to open our eyes. And see who we are hurting. If we can't. Take my heart and soul. Spoiler Do you ever feel in love. Do you ever feel like. There nothing for you. On the other side. Do think to your self. That nobody is there. That nobody cares. That nobody can hear you cry. When ever your alone. Feeling like. There no one to hold you tight. When you start to cry. It gonna be alright. HOPE YOU GUY LIKED!
These are pretty good, you have a sense of righteousness in these last two poems. Although the format/layout threw me off just a bit. You're doing a great job, keep it up ^_^
Here a new song called the forever bee.Enjoy You don't look at me, All you see is. This lil girl. Who don't know how to act. Well that not true. I know who I'm am. I know who I'll be. Cause I am the. Forever bee. Forever love Forever see. All you seen was the girl who fight her own fights. Yea. All you seen was the girl who hides the pain yea. You don't look inside. Before you start the lies. You don't care. Nope You don't see me smiling. Cause of you.Oh You say that your trying to help. But at the same time... You push me down to the under world. But now I'm back up. Cause I'm the Forever bee. Forever may god give me wings. Forever. And ever. And never let go oh. The pain is now gone. The tear are gone. The heart is now unbroken. It unbroken! It unbroken... Cause I'm the... Forever love Forever see. I am... The forever bee.
I love the way you. Talk The way you walk The way you smile every day. I love the way you dance. I love the way you move your hips. Don't know why you like to move your hips But baby you got me going crazy. I love the way you sing. Singing to me baby. Love the way you always got something to say. Hey,Hey,Hey. And the way you make fun of me. When I watching MTV. I love the way you walk and speak. Love the way you look at me. Love thees eyes. And I love way you start fights. And I love the way you look in the limelight. Oh baby you got me going crazy. Oh baby I'm crazy. I'm crazy... Cause you got me hooked. You got me singing. You got me movein my hips and sayin. I wanna be yours. You run into the rain when you get mad at me. And then you sing. Then you dance. Don't know who I wrote this song for. But when I find you. Oh when I find you. This song is dedicated to you Wow long time no write huh? haha. Anyways It was 1:30.I watched the last ep of Spice and wolf and Ouran. And this song came to me.Lol My first love song ah? Guess the tittle broken hearted is now whole hearted.XD lol
Hey everybody. Long time huh again? Wow I have to start writing more don't I? Lol. Here's a song I wrote. Hope you like. :) Don't cry. Do close your eyes. Sleep tight. Under the moon light. And everything is gonna be alright. Here it sunny. Never raining. No pain. No lies. No leaving and no broken dreaming. Here it alright. The sun is bright. It alright. Not a cloud in the sky. Don't cry. There no more worries. No more pain. Everything is going to be okay. So lay down. Close your sleepy eyes. Dream about a beautiful life. Where everything. . . Is alright.
