BFF Auditions

My last BFF betrayed me, so i had to terminate her. Now i'm holdin' auditions for a new one.

To enter, please answer these questions...truthfully.

1. A/S/L
2. References (Minimum of two) Please give a detailed history of at least two of your last BFF's.
3. Salt n' vinegar or Cheese n' onion?
4. You're friend has a hot date with the school football quaterback in a few minutes, but the toilet explodes, coverin' her with it's contents. Her date has just walk through the gate. How would you distract him till your friend is ready?
5. Your pose? (Such as Bluesteel) A description of the pose would be a bonus.
6. What is your cookin'/bakin' specialty?
7. How would you stop an up risin' of old pensioners?
8. Cookies or brownies?
9. (You are my BFF in this scenario) kitty's mascara begins to run down her face. How would you save the day?
10. Favourite type of film?
11. A squirrel steals your nuts. How would you retrieve them?
12. (You are my BFF in this scenario) Kitty is very unwell. What would you do to make her feel better?
13. What are your talents?
14. A guy drivin' a white van stops beside you on an empty street. He offers a ride. He tries to persuade you to hop in with sweeties and puppies. What do you do?
15. Guys, girls, or both?
16. Describe how you would create the perfect gals night in.
17. (You are my BFF in this scenario) A hot guy asks you out, but you know Kitty has had her eyes on him
for sometime now. *coughAllthosestalkin'nightsoutcough* What would you do in this situation?
18. (You are my BFF in this scenario) Kitty asks you if her toosh looks big in this. Do you tell her the truth, or lie to make her feel secure? Why?
19. (You are my BFF in this scenario) Kitty has had a hard day at the office. One of her co-workers stole her favourite plushie. She comes home tired and extremely moody, depressed. How would you tame the wild beast?
20. Why should you be picked as my new BFF? What could you contribute?

Good luck.

P.S Kitty loves detail/long posts.

 

1)14/dunno/Earth
2)... They started bullying me T-T
3)Cheese 'n' Onion (duh)
4) I insult him then run like shiz, thus drawing him away from the situation, I return later when I know it is ok.
5) uh... Just standin'?
6) I screw up everything except stickng things in the oven/microwave... I can make stew though.
7) Shotgun
8)Brownies 8)
9) I stand there thinking "ow fack!"
10)Comedy
11) hunt the squirrel with a crowbar or machete
12) ... I use my presence to help the situation?
13) ... Foruming XDDD
14) SHout "Its t3h white van man heeeeelp" then get in
15) both
16) Non-stop PS2
17)say I need to think
18) tell the truth so the kitty may feel that she can trust me, and for her benefit
19) Listening to your countless rants
20).. I shouldn't

 

1. A/S/L
22/Heck if I know/Wisconsin
2. References (Minimum of two) Please give a detailed history of at least two of your last BFF's.
Socipaths don't form good friendships without some sort of personal gain for them.
3. Salt n' vinegar or Cheese n' onion?
Niether. I like something with a little kick to it.
4. You're friend has a hot date with the school football quaterback in a few minutes, but the toilet explodes, coverin' her with it's contents. Her date has just walk through the gate. How would you distract him till your friend is ready?
Hit him in the back of the head with a baseball bat. Just enough to knock him out for a few hours until my friend is ready.
5. Your pose? (Such as Bluesteel) A description of the pose would be a bonus.
I'm so good I don't need poses. What do you mean I have an ego problem?
6. What is your cookin'/bakin' specialty?
Anything with noodles.
7. How would you stop an up risin' of old pensioners?
Keep the money for myself and build my empire with it.
8. Cookies or brownies?
Brownies
9. (You are my BFF in this scenario) kitty's mascara begins to run down her face. How would you save the day?
Hand her a tissue.
10. Favourite type of film?
Military
11. A squirrel steals your nuts. How would you retrieve them?
Chase after that ****ing squirrel with my ****ing shotgun to get my ****ing nuts back.
12. (You are my BFF in this scenario) Kitty is very unwell. What would you do to make her feel better?
Do something incredibly awesome to make her laugh. Maybe some revolver juggling or pwning some n00bs.
13. What are your talents?
Is backstabbing a talent?
14. A guy drivin' a white van stops beside you on an empty street. He offers a ride. He tries to persuade you to hop in with sweeties and puppies. What do you do?
Punch him in the ovaries then walk off.
15. Guys, girls, or both?
Both.
16. Describe how you would create the perfect gals night in.
Well I know I like to sit cuddled in my favorite pajamas with a pint of ice cream and Schindler's List playing.
17. (You are my BFF in this scenario) A hot guy asks you out, but you know Kitty has had her eyes on him
for sometime now. *coughAllthosestalkin'nightsoutcough* What would you do in this situation?
Drag Kitty along to make the situation deliciously awkward.
18. (You are my BFF in this scenario) Kitty asks you if her toosh looks big in this. Do you tell her the truth, or lie to make her feel secure? Why?
Tell her the truth. Friends don't let friends were things to make tooshes look big.
19. (You are my BFF in this scenario) Kitty has had a hard day at the office. One of her co-workers stole her favourite plushie. She comes home tired and extremely moody, depressed. How would you tame the wild beast?
I'd probably be holed up in my room until the storm passed. Or was at the point to be weathered. Then I'd cook her a nice meal and something sweet for dessert.
20. Why should you be picked as my new BFF? What could you contribute?
Because I pwn like that.

 

1. I know you would like me to say the real stuff, but how fun would that be ?! D: So A:54/S:Heshe/L: Tranny street. >:3
2. Tsk, the SIIIIIIIIISTAHS 5 speak for themselves. Jeez, woman they're in their own legacy. Godesses which is high above regular memebers, and they are the ones.<3 They will return to KHV one day, soaring trough the internet sky *shiny eyes*
3. Salt n' vinegar, whatever that may be it sounds salt so YUM >;3
4. I would take a fly kick in his stomach so he would fly yards away then pin him to the ground. Then drag my brand new drawig out of my pocket and show it to him and ask for CnC >:D
5. My pose: My arms behind my head, my chest put forward and doing this little pump move, and with a flirty look and kissy mouth. (For all who actually believed that, SHAME ON YOU >|)
6. Bwahaha, buns babeh! <3
7. Stop watering them ? o:
8.Cookies >|
9. I run to a store near me grab a make up removal bottle and some pads, and run back to Kitty. Illegal for you babeh!
10. I have loads, it's not only one side to life you know ;P (For the big, for the small, for the different, for those who stick out, for the many, for the few, for those who love love not, love lots, love little, for the truthful, for the many and a little bit different, for those who ain't what you believe, for those who love love not, and the many and a little bit different, the taste of your first kiss, for one, and for us all! <3
11. I go and buy myself a Zelda slingshot. The squrriel wont die from being shot with a cereal corn and it will drop the nuts, and once again Sammy is in controool! :'D
12. Well I would offer her chocholate, >:3 Err, wait maybe that's the wrong answer ? IT's the tought that counts ? nay ? <> (Fine, I would dress up as a nurse and take care of you <3)
13. SAMKABAM! I can do a cool exploding smoke trick, then I mysteriousely disappear (or die <>;)
14. Dudette, I'm karate Sammy; of course I would kick that disgusting pedobear in the nuts. He can go fire his lazer in someone elses garden.
15.Girls will be girls and boys will be toys! ;P R A W R ~
16.Hmmm, either you could all sit and watch Sammy do a catwalk in beautifully self designed dresses, and you would come along. Or we would go on an adventure, far across the sea. Creat a place called Zelda world. Or just simply watch movies and have a slumber party, WITH LOTS OF CHOCLIT :'D
17. I require a threesome. Gimme sum luwe! <3
18.The more you have, the more to love! >:3
19. You don't even have a job!
20. Because I am your BFF and SADFOA and I QK you, and I you didn't terminate me I survived, remember my wild escape over the hills >D And you should treasure me for my simplexity for my short readable answers, that's still kinda long and awesome heeheheheheh >:3 And survivors hand in there, you couldn't kill me the first time, then you definitely can't even attempt a second time :'D

































Oh and PS: I love you, <3


*Reason enough if you ask me! D:<*

 

Some good auditions there...and Sammy, you're like the T 1000.

 

1. A/S/L
A-13 S=mail L=mars/england (a double life you see)
2. References (Minimum of two) Please give a detailed history of at least two of your last BFF's.
well first there was william he was cool till he moved away and we had no way of contacting eachother and then theres ashley she's ok but meh we fight alot
3. Salt n' vinegar or Cheese n' onion?
ooooooo i get a bowl and ditch them both inside and eat them both yum:)
4. You're friend has a hot date with the school football quaterback in a few minutes, but the toilet explodes, coverin' her with it's contents. Her date has just walk through the gate. How would you distract him till your friend is ready?
if i had a friend which i don't i would do the can-can then take something that doesn't break easily and throw it and tell em they dropped it and them start singing the doom song and keep doing these sort of things
5. Your pose? (Such as Bluesteel) A description of the pose would be a bonus.
erm sitting in the library hiding books so bullys wont find me?
6. What is your cookin'/bakin' specialty?
cheese cake
7. How would you stop an up risin' of old pensioners?
erm tell them i made them cheescake
8. Cookies or brownies?
i mix these too you can never have too much food or at least i cant
9. (You are my BFF in this scenario) kitty's mascara begins to run down her face. How would you save the day?
give her more?
10. Favourite type of film?
horror
11. A squirrel steals your nuts. How would you retrieve them?
get another nut and eat that instead
12. (You are my BFF in this scenario) Kitty is very unwell. What would you do to make her feel better?
do random stuff (which would probably end up in me hitting a wall people usually find that funny)
13. What are your talents?
i can read a hundred and twenty page book in an hour
14. A guy drivin' a white van stops beside you on an empty street. He offers a ride. He tries to persuade you to hop in with sweeties and puppies. What do you do?
i take a pic of his liscence plate and go to the police
15. Guys, girls, or both?
guys
16. Describe how you would create the perfect gals night in.
by creating the perfect gals night in duh
17. (You are my BFF in this scenario) A hot guy asks you out, but you know Kitty has had her eyes on him
for sometime now. *coughAllthosestalkin'nightsoutcough* What would you do in this situation?
ask him if he's seen kitty around and if he says shes quite cool say hes not your type but shes free
18. (You are my BFF in this scenario) Kitty asks you if her toosh looks big in this. Do you tell her the truth, or lie to make her feel secure? Why?
i tell the truth but tell her it doesn't look so bad because i wouldnt want to hurt her feelings but i hate having to lie
19. (You are my BFF in this scenario) Kitty has had a hard day at the office. One of her co-workers stole her favourite plushie. She comes home tired and extremely moody, depressed. How would you tame the wild beast?
buy her a brand new plushie and give her cookies
20. Why should you be picked as my new BFF? What could you contribute?
i have no friends but i can be a good friend im just weak and easy to bully so basicly I can't say protection or anything but all I CAN contribute is friendship

 

Fuuuuuuuuuuuck dat.

If you wanna be MY BFF, then come see ME...D;

 

Quite tempting.

 

Don't be a puss, answer the questions!

 

I want a friend ._.

 

1. A/S/L
False

2. References (Minimum of two) Please give a detailed history of at least two of your last BFF's.
3...and 4.

3. Salt n' vinegar or Cheese n' onion?
Sugar, spice, and everything raunchy.

4. You're friend has a hot date with the school football quaterback in a few minutes, but the toilet explodes, coverin' her with it's contents. Her date has just walk through the gate. How would you distract him till your friend is ready?
I'd calmly sit the boy down and explain to him that his date had died, and that she'd be ready in 20 minutes. He'll do fine.

5. Your pose? (Such as Bluesteel) A description of the pose would be a bonus.
You know that face you make when you drink orange juice right after brushing your teeth? I do that, only with my body.

6. What is your cookin'/bakin' specialty?
Shake and bake, DUH.

7. How would you stop an up risin' of old pensioners?
Embezzle money to fuel the creation of my own time machine, so that I may go back in time and destroy the word "pension", so that it may be replaced with Haruhi. That way old Haruhists will be attacking. And frankly, old women doing flamboyant dances to a happy-go-lucky soundtrack wouldn't be that bad. They can protest the rest of the year for all I care.

8. Cookies or brownies?
Neither, eyecandy please.

9. (You are my BFF in this scenario) kitty's mascara begins to run down her face. How would you save the day?
Copy and paste answer to number 4. She'll do fine.

10. Favourite type of film?
The one that plays movies. Those are GREAT.

11. A squirrel steals your nuts. How would you retrieve them?
OH GOD...NOT AGAIN!!! That's like the 3rd time this week! FUUUUUUUCK. *Runs up tree to retrieve testiclulars.*

12. (You are my BFF in this scenario) Kitty is very unwell. What would you do to make her feel better?
Bye her a "get well NOW" card.

13. What are your talents?
Answering surveys.

14. A guy drivin' a white van stops beside you on an empty street. He offers a ride. He tries to persuade you to hop in with sweeties and puppies. What do you do?
White van? ****, who wrote these questions? Racist *******s.

15. Guys, girls, or both?
True

16. Describe how you would create the perfect gals night in.
I'd probably need to gain a ****** first...sorry.../:

17. (You are my BFF in this scenario) A hot guy asks you out, but you know Kitty has had her eyes on him
for sometime now. *coughAllthosestalkin'nightsoutcough* What would you do in this situation?
I'd flip a coin. Heads; I take the guy, tails; free icecream.

18. (You are my BFF in this scenario) Kitty asks you if her toosh looks big in this. Do you tell her the truth, or lie to make her feel secure? Why?
I suppose it depends ony our ethnicity.

19. (You are my BFF in this scenario) Kitty has had a hard day at the office. One of her co-workers stole her favourite plushie. She comes home tired and extremely moody, depressed. How would you tame the wild beast?
Fish

20. Why should you be picked as my new BFF? What could you contribute?
The answer is C.

 

...

huh? you're looking for a new best friend here? I'll be your friend, but i'll be honest....this is a bit desperate.......FO SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

... Fo Show is not a adjective, or a verb.. or a noun. It is not a phrase. So stop using it. And if you must use it, type it like a regular person. :\

 

......

I'll have my application filled out ASAP. Right now, my head is much too screwed up to read all of that, much less answer it. DX

 

1. A/S/L
21/ that's what she said/ utah.
2. References (Minimum of two) Please give a detailed history of at least two of your last BFF's.
I have too many to name, but I would have to say that my top two are disfunctional, and are not on this forum, while one is currently taking a vow of silence in Sweden and the other is getting married.
3. Salt n' vinegar or Cheese n' onion?
Pringles or Lays? There is a difference.
4. You're friend has a hot date with the school football quaterback in a few minutes, but the toilet explodes, coverin' her with it's contents. Her date has just walk through the gate. How would you distract him till your friend is ready?
I would begin analyzing the last game's highlights focusing on key plays that he could have improved upon, where upon the tension will mount and the only clear cut way to continue stalling would be to challenge the QB to Madden 93.
5. Your pose? (Such as Bluesteel) A description of the pose would be a bonus.
My pose, constitutes me spinning 90 degrees on my heels, leaning up against the side of a backlit wall, and having my sunglasses hanging low enough that my eyes sparkle in the shadows. It shall be called "Dork"
6. What is your cookin'/bakin' specialty?
Gingersnap
7. How would you stop an up risin' of old pensioners?
Inquiry: Do they smell like soup?
8. Cookies or brownies?
Brownies with cookie batter.
9. (You are my BFF in this scenario) kitty's mascara begins to run down her face. How would you save the day?
Run up to anyone that feels strongly of laughing and begin to act like Jack Sparrow and convince the scabbers dog to join me crew or feel the wrath of my morning breath.
10. Favourite type of film?
35 millimeter that has sci-fi englossed upon it.
11. A squirrel steals your nuts. How would you retrieve them?
bazooka.
12. (You are my BFF in this scenario) Kitty is very unwell. What would you do to make her feel better?
sing lymirics or re-enact Legend of Zelda
13. What are your talents?
I can, when not sick, make my voice sound like a trumpet, and also can whistle in...and out.
14. A guy drivin' a white van stops beside you on an empty street. He offers a ride. He tries to persuade you to hop in with sweeties and puppies. What do you do?
Ask him if the sweets are sugar free because of my high cholestrol, and if the pup is named scooby doo.
15. Guys, girls, or both?
Girls
16. Describe how you would create the perfect gals night in.
...no guys?
17. (You are my BFF in this scenario) A hot guy asks you out, but you know Kitty has had her eyes on him
for sometime now. *coughAllthosestalkin'nightsoutcough* What would you do in this situation?
I would kick him in the crotch and tell him to get over himself, then tell Kitty he's not worth the effort...because he is not hetero.
18. (You are my BFF in this scenario) Kitty asks you if her toosh looks big in this. Do you tell her the truth, or lie to make her feel secure? Why?
Counter her with does my big with these glasses.
19. (You are my BFF in this scenario) Kitty has had a hard day at the office. One of her co-workers stole her favourite plushie. She comes home tired and extremely moody, depressed. How would you tame the wild beast?
voodoo, then the next day, the plush would be returned, and said co-worker would be residing inside of the trash compactor.
20. Why should you be picked as my new BFF? What could you contribute?
I make snide little comments about anything and everything...and i'm from Utah.

 

1. A/S/L: 42/M/Ohio 18/F/UK
2. References (Minimum of two) Please give a detailed history of at least two of your last BFF's: My mam... that is all.
3. Salt n' vinegar or Cheese n' onion?: Salt n Vinegar. I like Cheese n Onion as well but they make your breath smell.
4. You're friend has a hot date with the school football quaterback in a few minutes, but the toilet explodes, coverin' her with it's contents. Her date has just walk through the gate. How would you distract him till your friend is ready?: Strip tease.
5. Your pose? (Such as Bluesteel) A description of the pose would be a bonus: Stick butt out, stick boobs out and most importantly, POUT.
6. What is your cookin'/bakin' specialty?: Pot Noodle
7. How would you stop an up risin' of old pensioners?: TURN OFF THEIR LIFE SUPPORT >|
8. Cookies or brownies?: Brownies
9. (You are my BFF in this scenario) kitty's mascara begins to run down her face. How would you save the day?: Lick it off. Yum.
10. Favourite type of film? Dark comedy/romance/coming-of-age.
11. A squirrel steals your nuts. How would you retrieve them?: How about some scat you little twat?
12. (You are my BFF in this scenario) Kitty is very unwell. What would you do to make her feel better?: chocolate.
13. What are your talents?: I'm amazing. :3
14. A guy drivin' a white van stops beside you on an empty street. He offers a ride. He tries to persuade you to hop in with sweeties and puppies. What do you do? He had me at 'hello'.
15. Guys, girls, or both?: Everyone of God's creatures.
16. Describe how you would create the perfect gals night in: Painting nails, braiding hair, watching chick flicks and bondage.
17. (You are my BFF in this scenario) A hot guy asks you out, but you know Kitty has had her eyes on him
for sometime now. *coughAllthosestalkin'nightsoutcough* What would you do in this situation?: I'd act like a total ****** to him to turn him off me.
18. (You are my BFF in this scenario) Kitty asks you if her toosh looks big in this. Do you tell her the truth, or lie to make her feel secure? Why?: I'd tell you to try something else on.
19. (You are my BFF in this scenario) Kitty has had a hard day at the office. One of her co-workers stole her favourite plushie. She comes home tired and extremely moody, depressed. How would you tame the wild beast?: With whips and chains.
20. Why should you be picked as my new BFF? What could you contribute?: I'll be the bad influence that your parents dislike. :3 Everyone wants a BFF like that really.

 

YOU GAVE ME NIGHTMARES YOU POO!

 

You already are a bad influence...

 

1. A/S/L

14\F\Texas

2. References (Minimum of two) Please give a detailed history of at least two of your last BFF's.

They were so 1337.

They died.

3. Salt n' vinegar or Cheese n' onion?

Both?

4. You're friend has a hot date with the school football quaterback in a few minutes, but the toilet explodes, coverin' her with it's contents. Her date has just walk through the gate. How would you distract him till your friend is ready?

I would say she forget have was coming at that time and is taking a shower.

5. Your pose? (Such as Bluesteel) A description of the pose would be a bonus.

'Do a a little turn on the catwalk'
Image

6. What is your cookin'/bakin' specialty?

Ramen

7. How would you stop an up risin' of old pensioners?

What are those?

8. Cookies or brownies?

Both?

9. (You are my BFF in this scenario) kitty's mascara begins to run down her face. How would you save the day?

Run her to the washroom and do my magic!

10. Favourite type of film?

Horror, Romance, comedy

11. A squirrel steals your nuts. How would you retrieve them?

Take HIS nuts. -ebil grin-

12. (You are my BFF in this scenario) Kitty is very unwell. What would you do to make her feel better?

Dance like a baboon.

13. What are your talents?

Dancing, singing, acting, playing the tromebone, making GFX

14. A guy drivin' a white van stops beside you on an empty street. He offers a ride. He tries to persuade you to hop in with sweeties and puppies. What do you do?

Kick out his back window.

15. Guys, girls, or both?

Shemales

16. Describe how you would create the perfect gals night in.

Watching crappy horror movies and making fun of them.

17. (You are my BFF in this scenario) A hot guy asks you out, but you know Kitty has had her eyes on him
for sometime now. *coughAllthosestalkin'nightsoutcough* What would you do in this situation?

Let kitty have him.

18. (You are my BFF in this scenario) Kitty asks you if her toosh looks big in this. Do you tell her the truth, or lie to make her feel secure? Why?

Kitty doesn't have a big toosh.

19. (You are my BFF in this scenario) Kitty has had a hard day at the office. One of her co-workers stole her favourite plushie. She comes home tired and extremely moody, depressed. How would you tame the wild beast?

Give her a 1337, totally kawaii plush.

20. Why should you be picked as my new BFF? What could you contribute?

I can do sexy parties.

 

Awesome I made it in time. Okay, so do you want me to get naked first and then get on the couch, or start off on the couch and then get naked? Also I don't so skat or anything fetishy...Is that going to be a problem? Oh yeah, I'd like my stage name to be Buck Consuela and I'm going to pretend that I'm a 19 year old poor college student looking for a wild and dirty way to make some cash an--... This isn't Kibbles 'N Ass Entertainment is it?????