this fanfic is based off the HBO miniseries "Band of Brothers" its my first fanfic, and only the first chapter, tell me if i should keep it going. hope you enjoy this very short fanfic. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It was dawn when the men and women woke up. It had been 6 years after the war had started, their armor was rusted, their faces downtrodden. It was not a hopeful time together they began to move on, constantly looking at the ground, they were the only warriors around, and it was starting to get to them. The long voyages, the raging wars, it never seemed to end… they were a party of seven. Their names were Sora, Roxas, Kairi, Riku, Aqua, Ven, and Terra. The only warriors left, and the only ones to begin with. They were on their way to enemy lines. Where the last showdown would take place. They had been without supplies for a week, morale was low, and yet, they were still a week away from the enemies’ fortress. All of a sudden, something rustled from behind them, they all turned around, drawing their weapons, and took their combat stances. They looked, but did not believe. It was…
Hey, this looks pretty good. However, you seem to be replying to A LOT, if not every comment. It's probably better just to reply to 1 or 2, and definitely not to every comment. I know, it sounds trivial and stupid but it might save you some problems.
heres ch 2 of band of weilders--please leave any comments below, or PM me! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It was him, Ansem. But no one believed; everyone knew what happened to him and the King. It happened there or four years back, before the war was like this. Ansem and the King had been uninformed of the war because of the new walls surrounding the worlds. Ansem was experimenting with a new way to travel to the other worlds so Sora and Riku could see their friends again. But something went terribly wrong. Ansem was so obsessed with making his goal and so close to his success, that he overlooked a small variable and caused his experiment to backfire. Instead of traveling to a world, the ship went berserk and crash landed on the Disney castle courtyard, and soon exploded. The force of the shock sent the world into total chaos; fiery explosions, deep fissures, and strong winds, the world literally tore itself apart. And yet, there he was, standing right in front of them, but he looked almost like an alternate person. He had a totally different face, deep scars, darker skin, and a bloodshot eye. He was dressed in his garments that he wore when he was pretending to be DIZ, minus the bandages on his head, but still, the garments were ripped, torn, and faded. He looked terrible. Everyone just looked at him, most unbelieving, others questionable. “Who are you?†said Sora softly, since they had been without supplies for so long and the lack of water was getting to him. A soft rumbling could be heard in the distance, but the party of seven just ignored it; there had been so much more of it the closer they got to enemy lines. “Sora, you know who I am, I am Ansem.†Everyone stared. Sora glared loathingly at him, already planning out a strategy in his head, need they fight. “ANSEM IS DEAD! NOW, ANSWER THE QUESTION! WHO ARE YOU?!†yelled Riku. Ansem just smiled, and said “Riku, you sound terrible. Here, I brought food and water.†He held out some bread and water. They all stared at it longingly, wondering if it would be poisoned, but their mouths were watering, and their throats, bone-dry. Even Riku couldn’t help but wish he had something to eat and drink, he looked around, Kairi was slowly extending her hand… ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ill post ch.3 ASAP
Nice story. Get into detail a bit more and section off different scenes with spaces to make them paragraphs.
i like it so far but i agree with higher, try to make paragraphs instead of one big blob, and a little more detail couldn't hurt
gotcha, the paragraph thing was cause i just copy and pasted it; i was in a big hurry. in my word document i had paragraphs
