Axel sat in the corner as he usually did and watched the men go in and out of the bar. He sat up waiting for the right time to go get something to drink. “I wonder if Roxas will be here tonight?” He said as he pulled out his cell and was looking through the phone book.” Can I get you anything?” A woman said. She was wearing a cute little bunny outfit. With a Minnie skirt and a pair of bunny ear’s and paws. “No thanks, I’m good.” He said still going through his phone book. “Ok then” She hopped away back to the bartender. Not many people come here. Just some rookies from that have know idea why there here. Axel got up and walked over to the bartender and ordered a beer. “ So he’s not here tonight?” he say. “ He had to work late I guess.” Roxas worked as a Video Game Designer for Namco. “ Well he’ll be here” “I hope so. I don’t want to call him, cause I have no idea what he’s doing, But I want to know.” Axel grabbed his beer and sat back in the booth in the corner where he was at. His jacket sat next to him folded. He opened his phone again and looked at all the photo’s he had Zexion take of him and Roxas. His favorite was Roxas and Him in high school at a dance. Roxas was wearing his white half buttoned up shirt and a pear of baggy black pants. And Axel was wearing his black pants and a white man tan top with a red button up shirt. “The last dance me and Roxas went to heh” It's not much Please tell me what you think
I'm interested to know where it's going, but ya need to work on grammar a bit... Also, I'd start a new paragraph everytime someone new starts talking. Makes it easier to understand. Hope that helped! =P Lord of the Wings, ~Leah.
I think you could really go some where with this. But you need more detail and emotionwise, you need more emotion (Ive been yelled at because Nobodies dont have emotion when I told someone that) But I think you could really have fun with this plot
