Advice wanted

Alright, im kinda going through a little drama here....

Now, it all started with a really big fight i got into with one of my closest friends Trinity(Who im not friends with anymore). She came over to my house and i let her try on these really tight new pants i got. They looked better on her than me, and she felt that i needed to give them to her. These were expensive jeans, and, naturally, i said no. Then she got all butthurt and started saying things like i dont look good in them and all dat. But thats not wat started the fight. It happened when Catelyn didnt want to hang with us one day at lunch because she wanted to see a couple of her other friends. I was okay with it, but trinity blew it out of proportion, saying that she was only cates friend when it was convenient for cate. So now my two best friends were at it.
ANYWAY... We were standing at the AL ACARTE line waiting so i could get my lunch when trinity started doggin on Catelyn. I spotted Cate further up the line, so i went over to talk to her. One thing led to another, and i 'ditched' trinity. She blew that out of proportion too, and we didnt talk for about a month.
We finally DO start talking, and it accidenlty slips that i had a crush on this guy named Jesse Hitchcock, who wuz one of Catelyn's friends. Then, not two days later, Trinity started hitting on him and saying how he said he liked her and all that ****, just rubbing it in. And the dumb crap i am, i believed her, and i felt really bummed. So me and cate talk to jesse. He didnt say any of that ****. SO i stopped talking to Trinity again. I felt if she was gonna treat me like ****, than i dont need her anyway.
Well i end up telling Jesse i like him, and we end up going out. The very next day we found ourselves behind the school making out ((LOL)). But that didnt last long. You see, Jesse and i felt there was too much of an age difference between us. Im a freshman, and hes a SENIOR. So we brake up.

But no matter how hard i try, i cant get over him. I think about him all the time and wish that it could have worked. People say you wont find love in high school, but its always nice to have someone you can hold on to.......

So i wonder:
What is love? Is it the desire to be with that someone as much as possible? Or is it wanting to hold them, touch them, to just be around them? Or is it comething else?


Well, you can reply with any kind of advice- if i went wring at any point in this big ol mess, consoling words, an answer to the love question, or anything else. Can you relate to it? If so, do tell. Im kinda having a tough time here.

 

Follow what your heart says

 

My heart says JESSE. No, it screams JESSE. But it wont work. Hes just too damn old. -sob- and ive been trying to get a new BF but no one has that same unique spark that Jesse has. I just... dont know....

 

I'll say it again just follow your heart lulz

 

Do you even care that he is older? My mother is 10 younger than my father and they are married for 30 years or so, just putting an example.

 

I sense a needy clinger *shivers*.

 

I dont really care. But if we ever did anything like sex hes considered a 'pedophile'. I hate it. Now if he was like 32 id understand.

 

Trinity is the kind of name you hear when you walk into a strip club.

 

If you don't try to flirt with him right now i'm gonna bring Daniel Lamb here

 

O.o whos daniel lamb???

 

A pyscho lulz search on wikipedia

 

O.o well then... i think thats the most random thing ive heard all day.