KHV, I didn't want to make a help thread on this, but I honestly do not know what to do. We've broken up again, but he says he still loves me (that's why our signatures haven't changed)... just to an extent (due to distance). He also says he can't trust me anymore, but maybe I can build up his trust again. How can I do that if he makes it f***ing impossible? How does he expect me to completely trust him if he can't completely trust me? I admit I can understand the distance reason, it's been hurting me too, but I've been coping with it. Does that mean he really doesn't care, because as it seems he didn't try to cope with it? Oh, and also, here's another reason not to trust him as much: He's hanging out with a girl he 'really cares for'. They're having a 'sleepover'. They're going to see a movie together. But the girl is the one wanting to do all of this, not him. That I know of. This is just tearing me up inside. I'm confused and I think I'm about to go insane. KHV, please do help. I know he'll see this, and I'm scared to death of what will come of it. More info: I am suicidal. I have been for a long, long time. A couple of days ago, I came very close to dying due to a caffeine overdose I inflicted onto myself (I am allergic to caffeine). He thought I was lying about it, but I wasn't. That's probably why he can't trust me.
Oh lord......where to begin? I was nice the last time because I choose not to say anything, but now that it has escalated to this obvious and predictable predicament, it is time I have a few things to say: 1. If he makes that it is impossible to "trust" you again, then the reason is......is he can't trust you again. I don't really know what it is he doesn't trust you about, but that, in his mind, is the only way to cope with it. 2. As for the distance, unfortunately I think that was the nail in the coffin. Living on opposite sides of the planet, does make very hard to keep a relationship afloat. I don't think it's that he doesn't care, or isn't trying to cope. I think he just doesn't know what to do. He is as lost and confused as you are. 3. The other girl. This is also is no surprise to me. It is difficult to argue, "Girl I love who is thousands of miles away, or girl that lives a few blocks from me who I can hang out with." I don't wish to sound like a precocious @$$, or make him look bad, but a physical relationship will usually always win. You need to hug, and kiss, and take to the movies, and sleep over......wait what? "Sleep over"? So, it just seems to me, that this girl has had an eye on him for some time. Whether or not he made clear to her that he was already "in love" is his own thing to deal with not yours. 4. You. Look, it's good that you shared this. Now Glen can see how this is affecting you, and maybe he'll step up to the plate and tell you what is going on, and what he thinks. I don't you should be afraid, I think he should be. If he tries to pull both strings, like my younger sis' bf tried to do, then that is a low blow. He needs to tell you, hopefully through PM what he is going to do. This is about all I can say about this. If the relationship does end up being a bust, then my condolences. But as I said to Fallen_King, if you keep your eyes and heart open, I'm sure you will find another. One closer to you hopefully. If either you or him have anything to say about this, PM me.
I've been in a bunch of long-distance relationships, and I can say for a fact that yes; trust is very important for such a thing. The fact that he's told you about this girl is a good thing, because it shows that you should be able to trust him to keep you informed. However, and this probably sounds harsher than I mean it to, not everyone can handle the stresses of a long-distance relationship. It takes a great deal of fortitude and patience to be able to deal with the stresses of being apart for so long. You guys are, what, 15 and 18? For females and males respectively, those can be the worst ages for coping/dealing with stress, so for the time being, even though it hurts, maybe a break is exactly what you need. After a little while it's quite possible you guys will feel a lot easier about the whole thing, and be able to try again. If not... then perhaps it's simply not meant to happen that way. Sorry if this wasn't that much help, only love is kinda a difficult thing to help out with.
You helped a lot, thank you. No offense was taken into anything you said. Maybe I can trust him, but I'm pretty sure he's hiding something, whatever it may be.
I'm going to tell you something I told you before; even if it doesn't work out, it is not the end of the world. It's a relationship like any other, and like any other relationship, it may end. It may come back, it may not. That's the truth, and you know it. If he hangs out with another girl, he does. If he cares for her, hell, even if he loves her, it is not something you should worry about, you know why? Because it's not on you. Even if there is something there, you can't do anything with it, nor should you. Of course this tears you up inside, that's what love does to anyone. Also, it doesn't matter if he sees it or not. If he reacts negatively for you needing help, though I don't think he will, I will personally make sure he won't do that ever again. (And about that one status on Facebook, the one that ends with so right now. :/, Don't do this. You're making him feel worse than he deserves. Sure, maybe he has hurt you, but that doesn't give you the right to call him out on it in the open. Also, 'You always hurt the ones you love'. If his feelings have changed, it's not something he can control, and you're only hurting him with updates like them. I care for you both, and even if the relationship ended, you can still be friends.) About the suicidal part. Stop it. There is no reasonable reason for you to be suicidal, you know why? Because (even though I am pretty sure it's about more than just this), it gets better. You are still a kid! You probably want to think you are not, but fact is; you are. It seems you haven't been in this position before. I have been there many times before and I can tell you; it gets better. You know just as well as I do that suicide is a stupid, and the wrong answer. I hope this helps, any more Questions, keep posting here or Skype me.
Hey, take this from a girl who's done this twice; Move on forward. Obviously, nothing is working out what you mapped out in your first post. Maybe it's time to take a step back, have a little breather and just reassemble YOURSELF. Don't wait up for him, do what's best for you. This is obviously hurting you in more ways than one, and no one deserves to get hurt. Ever. But it happens. But once you get hurt, it's time to let the wounds heal. You know what I'm saying? Take yourself out of the toxic situation, stop letting yourself get hurt. Maybe you two should take a break from each other. You still have friends who love you and are willing to talk to you, I can see it in this thread. You're never alone, and it'll resolve on its own eventually over time. It's hard. It's painful. But you are young. You are still learning. You still have a lot of growing up to do yourself. I am nineteen years old, and I'm STILL learning the ways of life. Don't beat yourself up over this. Think of this as another situation that gets you one step closer to the one who will hold you, embrace you tightly in their arms, trust you fully, and promises to never let go. It's a pain, and I hate this too, but patience is the key word. Be patient with yourself, be patient with others around you. Wait until you're ready, and don't let anyone else push you. Otherwise, you'll see yourself repeating this over and over again. But yes in summary: 1. Take a break 2. Take a break from each other 3. Do what's best for you 4. Let yourself heal 5. Let it go Hopefully this helped a little. You'll be okay. And hey, I'm suicidal too. One tip I can give you for that is to just believe in yourself. When you think of suicide, you think of nothing good of yourself. Am I right? Do the opposite and think of everything good about yourself, including your hair color or something along those lines. Catch yourself when you start saying, "I'm not good enough." And know that someone is out there who doesn't believe that and tell yourself "I don't believe that. I am good enough." :glomp:
Thank you for the advice, it helps a lot. Does this mean Glen and I cannot be friends? We still want to be friends.
You can still be friends, but just take a break from talking to each other. Be better for the both of you to sort things out in your own lives and not have contact for a bit. You know, it could be short. Like three to four days. Take a breather. Just from my experience, one never wants to speak to me again and the other is still my friend. So you guys have a fifty fifty percent chance of being friends or not. Just be careful. If you guys just don't trust each other, in my opinion that is not friendship. It is fearship. You say you're friends, but you fear/don't trust each other... That's not really a good relationship. :\ Just throwing that out there.
I trust him, I don't know if he trusts me at all. (I say that because I haven't asked him about that in a while.)
No idea how i made it impossible, but i'm...well not the brightest bulb, so to speak. I'll try to make it...possible? You know i care for you..i always have..it's just..well with everything that's going on with my life, i'm stressing out waaaaay too much for my age, mostly due to the stress of having a relationship so far away. About Lily. Yes i care about her, but purely as a friend. When sleeping over at her house, pretty much all i did was help her out with her horses (it was more work than fun -_-). Movie? Her mum invited me, not her herself. And even then, friends often see movies together..and yes it is her wanting to do all this. Suicidal thing isn't causing me to not trust you. I already told you, i do trust you i just don't feel as though i can trust you as much as i did. But really, the suicial thing places an enormous pressure onto me, you see that right? It makes me think that if something happens, if i say something you take the wrong way or if you think i've fallen for Lily, you'll die. It makes me feel as though i'm the damn grim reaper, deciding whether you live or die. It's unbearable when i think about it..
