aaaaAAAA ARCHANGEL

IS GARRUS

I thought it was gonna be that Thane guy or somethin

then somebody said he's a turian and I went ... :O

Oh my god he actually just went to a modless pvp server and started dunking scrubs to pass the time that is the Life of Garrus

goddamn

now I see why all the femsheps romance him all the time

also holy shit i let them ruin his beautiful face ;____; I wish I'd murdered that fucker. Worst time in my life to be a hardcore Paragon.

 

Ah, that's our good ol' Garbear.

 

He gets the battle scars either way, but it only makes him more attractive. <3

 

Pussy status confirmed. Master race pure renegade here.

 

I am Cat.
I am a Paragon.
I AM the pussy.

Problem?

 

SO I JUST BOUGHT FORNAX AND

I CAN'T FUCKIN BREATHE

I need a subscription to Krogasm right the fuck now

Oh ok whew

Renegades stab people in the back before they become a threat

Renegades intimidate, threaten, and blackmail to avoid fighting

Renegades would rather leave the weak to rot than strain themselves defending them

And you're calling me the pussy

 

Renegade is literally the worst. Everything just ends up bad. It's legitimately stupid. Like, they make the renegade choice SEEM like it might benefit you, but it never gives you anything, outside a few VERY specific situations

 

Update: Got drunk for the first time. Cracked open a bottle of brandy with Chakwas. I love this game already :'D

Now I want to try fighting while drunk. Wonder if this is possible. Will require extensive binge dri-study.

Oh and I got Jack. Immediately offered her full access to Cerberus's files on her. Miranda gave me an actual real-life smh.
SUCCESS

 

If you want a chance to do something fun & drink, go to Afterlife on Omega and order a drink from the Batarian bartender on the lower floor.

You will thank me later, and so will everyone else.

 

Something always bothered me about that Batarian bartender thing.

Spoiler

That one guy after you get poisoned says you should "never order a drink at Afterlife if you are human." And then goes to say that the reason is because of one Batarian that's the problem. Does the Batarian bartender have a spy ring in the club to inform him when a human is about to buy a drink, then Speedy Gonzales his way to whatever bar the human is at in the club, push away the guy tending the bar, and sell the poison?

 

Well...

Spoiler

He never leaves that floor of Afterlife. Whenever I order a drink on the main floor (where you can meet Aria), the Turian has never even spoken a word to me. I guess the one guy was just exaggerating. After all, humans aren't exactly the most popular species on Omega (esp. after the plague, regardless of whether or not the Vorcha spread it on Collector orders).

 

For a second I thought you just legit cost me a game over I was about to smack you upside the head

Took care of that fucker, lookin' forward to my free drinks

In unrelated news,

 

I'd like to imagine the Batarian just shows up, punches out whoever is tending the bar, and serves the drinks.

Human: Vodka Martini. Shaken, not stirred.
Turian Bartender: Coming right u- *gets punched*
Batarian Bartender: NO! I got this!

Shepard longingly looks on as he wishes he could dance that good.

 

Wisdom from Zakera Ward

"It'd be so much easier if we all had the same DNA, but noooo, the universe loves diversity."
~Presidium Groundskeeper

"Eating a fish from the Presidium would be like... screwing Sha'ira."
"Ugh. Asari are so... squishy. Where are you supposed to get a decent grip?"
~Kargesh & Rukar

 

I love those guys! Did you give him the fish?

 

So. I'm at the point where I can walk briskly down a hallway full of angry krogans and beat them to death with my bare hands.

I LOVE VANGUARDS.

 

Vanguard is OP as it gets. Only one weakness: out of reach enemies.

 

Good for you.

Mind you I just do casual runs for story purposes and I stick to soldier because, again, I am Cat, but yeah. Have fun doing the later missions with husks.
Goddamn bitches. Kept me from progressing on three separate occasions. >:L

 

So I now understand the calibrations joke

Is there a reason I've survived the skirmish on Horizon, rescued Tali from a FREE AS FUCK Colossus, and had a romantic night out blowing up an abandoned research station with my new super-soldier waifu starring Grunt as the Best Third Wheel Ever, and my best bro still hasn't had new dialogue since I picked him up on Omega?

Is this a glitch have I ruined everything

[Upgraded Submachine Gun]
[Incendiary Ammo]
[Heavy Charge]

NOT ANYMORE.

Oh yeah no Husks are pissing me off. Had to fight them and Scions at once. Somehow that was harder than fighting a Collector pincer attack with the glowy "assuming direct control" bodyjumper fuck showing up like six times, and a giant legion-bug that kept repeatedly blasting bio-diarrhea in my face when it got close. I repeat, both of those things were easier than a pair of glow-in-the-dark Flood with psychic wristwatches surrounded by murderous downs patients.

tl;dr I have decided Scions are my nemesis.

 

How did you beat the Colossus? What did you do? What path did you take?

There are some places Charge isn't allowed to go to. That is what I meant by weakness.

It pays to be an Infiltrator~.