This is going to sound strange but ... I'm afraid of people Like human beings in general. By myself or with people I trust I'm really happy and easy going, but around people I don't know, i clamp up and just don't do anything and if I do talk its usually just factual. it's actually kind of hard for me to post this. I'm scared of you people out there. The way I see it all of the pain and misfortune in my life came from people around me. My dad, my aunt, my backstabbing xfreinds. Thanks to them everyone from my old school thinks I'm a freak and a horrible person. I haven't had a real friend in years because of that, or a real conversation for that matter. Now I've just started uni and I have no idea what to do. I'm not good with people anymore. The only reason I'm even able to tell you this is because I've convinced my brain your not real people I don't know if this is an extreme case of shyness or some messed up mental health issue but can you suggest ways I can get over this fear or what you think of it or something? I'm not unhappy about it now but I'm sure it will be bad for me in latter life. They say the first step is admitting the problem. Admitted the problem to my parents, they don't really care... Admitted it to my siblings, they don't care much either... Maybe the first step is to admit the problem to someone who cares? So leave a comment or something I don't know, just show you care, I guess By writing this so that strangers can see it I hope to start beating my fear
This might qualify as agoraphobia. I' m nowhere near being a psychotherapist, nor is a short post in a forum nearly enough to make a diagnosis, but this definitely looks like some sort of phobia. The one method that I know is efficient in treating phobias in general (which is mentioned in the wikipedia page that I linked) is actually what you' re doing right know : exposure. That means confronting your fear in increasing small steps. If you find it easier to try to make a friend on the web, or at least to have conversations, then do just that. Once chatting on the web becomes part of your comfort zone that will mean you' re ready for the next step, which is doing the same in real life. You mentioned everyone thinking you' re "a freak and a horrible person", do you actually believe yourself that this is sufficient to wholly describe you accurately ? I suppose not. If you have an awkward history to carry around try to connect with complete strangers, it would be easier. Just so you know, not everyone is out there to hurt you, some people might even surprise you, and you are not defined only by your past, even less by your relatives, people can change. By the way, everyone is a freak, especially on this forum. ^^
I don't think this is strange at all. Well it's safe to say that you know why you have this fear, and that could lead to you being helped, and since you have told us about this, you're already on your path to getting their so well done for taking the first two steps, and like Patman said, do you really believe you are 'A freak and a horrible person?' Even though I don't know you in person, I'm going to say no sure we can be freaks sometimes and do bad things, but unless you really enjoy doing horrible things, you're not (That's my opinion on it). Believe me I use to and in a way still think like this myself, so you are not alone, not just because of me, but other people are like this too, sadly the bad things that happen to us effect us more then the good, because they have more of a blow to us... The way I slowly got over this myself is by talking to people on the internet, not about what bothers me but about random stuff, then hopefully you can slowly start to trust again. Good luck in getting over this fear.
That kind of shyness is totally normal. I do it as well, whenever I am at large parties with people I don't know, I just get super nervous and tense up. I get so quiet that people don't even notice me. There is nothing wrong with being shy, it just takes a little practice. People do hurt us all the times, but just because they're awful people, doesn't mean that should affect you. I would suggest you just practice going into small groups (like 5 or 6 people) at a time and slowly go into large parties with a couple of friends( 3 or 4) so if you really get uncomfortable, you have someone there for you. I totally understand that kind of problem, I had that when I was younger, I'm getting slightly better now but it's still a trouble of mine as well
Sadly awful things always affect people in this way, it's like a quote I once read; "Call a girl beautiful and she's believe it for a minute, call a girl ugly and she'll believe it for a life time" when bad things happen to us, it has a more powerful affects on us then when good things happen imo.
We need a degree of fear to properly focus and take note, and to effectively be prepared to fight or flight. Your 'fear' if it may be called as such, needs to be broken down a bit more. It needs to be slowly eroded so that your fear is not as prominent. You need to face it. The best advice I can give to you is to go into public places with people you trust. Be near a stranger, maybe two, and begin to progress to a higher group of people and then go in by yourself. The name for this psychological treatment escapes me, but the principal is simple, slowly expose yourself to your fear, going from looking at pictures, to videos, to looking from afar, to going near, to then interacting with it directly. It's effective, and I believe might be best for you.
i believe that is called exposure therapy, which is used for most typical anxiety disorders resulting from fear, as a branch of the cognitive behavioral therapy threatment for the afflicted individual. <3 my friend has the same fear but his is a bit more deep rooted than the original poster's. that said, i bid you good luck in overcoming. =^)
Hell is other people, or so I've heard. I will have liked to apply that quote to this scenario but, as an afterthought, it doesn't apply to you. You do not seem quite so desperate so as to merit its application, fearful you are. But far from cynical, as I see it. Could be worse. Or are you omitting something?There's nothing to say that's not been said already, the general advice, the obvious: exposure to what ails you, a body if exposed to a virus under incremental amounts develops immunity. 'Tis the same mentally as it is physically. We can do naught else really, not a hint of particularly insightful advice to give given the vaguery. Well, here's a Q for you. Who are the few you trust? The very few. I would offer myself an e-buddy, but really, I'm far from sociable myself. I would not make for a decent acquaintance. Finding some e-pals, a nice idea for starters. Snap, snap. Accalia! If I recall, she suffers of similar such things (tho perhaps to a lesser extent, you are anxiety-riddled enough creating an introductory thread alone, whereas she has pages of vms in progress)... you two have some in common, at least. It's a start. I can only hope she doesn't mind my broadcasting her channel for the world's viewing. Calls of attention, hardly what an avoidant needs.
