A [possibly] incoherent rant

So I was having a back and forth convo with my dad on the phone when he brings up randomly "Oh I know I'm behind but I finally decided to watch Spectre" and I have absolutely no idea what he's talking about and responds, "Ya know, that James Bond movie that came out a couple years ago? I think that Sam Smith song won an oscar?"

Now I'm sitting there wondering who the hell Sam Smith is so I go and look it up and yeah, he's right on that account. But I clicked on the the James Bond films page on wikipedia. And there are a **** ton of these movies.

I don't understand how in god's name people keep track of series like this. Like, they aren't titled "Bond: Spectre" or something like that, so I don't know it's a james bond film. But there must be a really dedicated fanbase because these movies rank in a LOT of money. But I've like... never watched a james bond movie before?

Like, if I say "Oh I've never watched Back to the Future" or "Oh I've only seen the third Rocky movie" I usually get someone out there who goes "WHAT?" but if I say "I've never watched a James Bond movie" I don't think I've met a single person who throws recommendations out to me.

Not that I really want to, it's not my genre or anything. Spy stuff is a cool "idea" but the only movies I really like in this genre are either parodies or... well, does Spy Kids count? No, probably not. They don't seem to be into the espionage type stuff as much as "look at our super cool gadgets" they just couldn't call it "Assassin Kids" or anything, but if they could you know they would.

Anywho, James Bond movies. I hear they are good movies. I like some of the songs from them (honestly I'd pay good money to hear Adele sing Skyfall live, even if all I heard was her sing Skyfall). But I don't know anyone who really... talks about them? I mean, I'm not expecting Star Wars levels of frothing fanboys but I expect a presence in overall discussions about movies and I really... don't...

My main bother with this is that I don't look at a title to a film and go "Oh that's GOTTA be a bond movie" and maybe it's because I don't look for them but I never see trailers in advance or people talking about the latest buzz around the next Bond movie. So when I see a movie name like "Spectre" I sit there and say "That sounds like the name of some really dramatic film involving someone working with a ghost to topple a society or something"

If any of you read that and thought "uh cstar, that's not what I think of at all" then well, congratulations you don't have my thought patterns I suppose.

So what was the end point of this? Idr now. I got my energy out. Maybe make it so bond films have titles like "Die Another Day" or "You Only Live Twice" cause I'll definitely look at those and go "ah yes, the pretentious title of a Bond film"

 

... I’ve never watched a James Bond movie. No one has ever told me to watch one either. I get a lot of requests or suggestions from my subscribers but out of like 1000s of comments no one has ever asked that either o.O

This is like a conspiracy, like what if no one is actually watching them? Like no one human? All the money they’re making is a farce an daime billionaire is just feeding Hollywood to make more movies

 

Or maybe

It's only the brits.

 

I’m taking a poll. I have 20 for yes, 12 for no. It’s weird that so many people can watch something but you’ve known them for over a year and they’ve never brought it up

 

I mean, I've known Arch for 10 years and didn't know he watched Skyfall ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

I've never watched a Bond movie either and tbh I totally didn't know they still made Bond films. XD I haven't even seen parts of a Bond film. It's one of things I've always known exists, and have always seen parodies (I like the Bond type Agent in that one Phineas and Ferb episode lol) but haven't seen itself.

 

my relationship to Bond movies is the exact same as Thor, where I've only seen like 20 minute stretches, got up, and forgot it ever happened

(until Thor Ragnarok, that one I liked a lot)

 

you know they're books, right? and high school girls on youtube arent exactly target demographic for James Bond so not too surprising really

 

>thor ragnarok

That movie was ****ing fine, and I don't like Thor movies.

The movie had the Guardians of the Galaxy feel to it, and at first I thought I wouldn't like it. But I ****ing did, and Im glad they finally did Hulk some justice.

 

The answer to all of this is simple

1. Most fans of Bond are quite old, older than I in fact.
2. There hasn't been a movie in 3 years now
3. Bond fans are not obnoxious because they know nobody likes them

So honestly even though there's all these questions about "Why does nobody talk about Bond?", "Where are all the Bond fans?" but I think those are ultimately meaningless, the real question that needs to be asked is despite how secret and strong James Bond supposedly is there even a REOMOTE possibility that he could EVER so much as lay a finger on Madara Uchiha? And I’m not talking about Rinne Tensei Madara Uchiha with the Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan and Rinnegan doujutsus (with the rikidou paths ability) equipped with his Gunbai and control of the juubi and Gedou Mazou, a complete Susano’o, with Hashirama Senju’s DNA implanted in his chest so he can perform Mokuton kekkei genkai and yin-yang release ninjutsu as well as being extremely skilled in taijutsu and bukijutsu.

I’m also not talking about Kono Yo no Kyūseishu Futarime no Rikudō Juubi Jinchuuriki Gedou Rinne Tensei Uchiha Madara with the Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan (which is capable of Enton Amaterasu, Izanagi, Izanami and the Tsyukuyomi Genjutsu), his two original Rinnegan (which grant him Chikushōdō, Shuradō, Tendō, Ningendō, Jigokudō, Gakidō, Gedō, Banshō Ten’in, Chibaku Tensei, Shinra Tensei, Tengai Shinsei and Banbutsu Sōzō) and a third Tomoe Rinnegan on his forehead, capable of using Katon, Fūton, Raiton, Doton, Suiton, Mokuton, Ranton, Inton, Yōton and even Onmyōton Jutsu, equipped with his Gunbai(capable of using Uchihagaeshi) and a Shakujō because he is a master in kenjutsu and taijutsu, a perfect Susano’o (that can use Yasaka no Magatama ), control of both the Juubi and the Gedou Mazou, with Hashirama Senju’s DNAand face implanted on his chest, his four Rinbo Hengoku Clones guarding him and nine Gudōdama floating behind him AFTER he absorbed Senjutsu from the First Hokage, entered Rikudō Senjutsu Mode, cast Mugen Tsukuyomi on everybody and used Shin: Jukai Kōtan so he can use their Chakra while they are under Genjutsu. I’m definitely NOT Talking about sagemode sage of the six paths Juubi Jinchuuriki Gedou Rinne Tensei Super Saiyan 4 Uchiha Madara with the Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan, Rinnegan, Mystic Eyes of Death Perception, and Geass doujutsus, equipped with Shining Trapezohedron while casting Super Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann as his Susanoo, controlling the Gold Experience Requiem stand, having become the original vampire after Alucard, able to tap into the speedforce, wearing the Kamen Rider Black RX suit and Gedou Mazou, with Hashirama Senju’s DNA implanted in him so he has mokuton kekkei genkai and can perform yin yang release ninjutsu while being an expert in kenjutsu and taijutsu and having eaten Popeye’s spinach

I’m talking about sagemode sage of the six paths Juubi Jinchuuriki Gedou Rinne Tensei Legendary Super Saiyan 4 Uchiha Madara with the Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan, Rinnegan, Mystic Eyes of Death Perception, and Geass doujutsus, equipped with his Shining Trapezohedron while casting Super Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann as his Susanoo, controlling the Gold Experience Requiem stand, having become the original vampire after having absorbed Alucard as well as a God Hand, able to tap into the speedforce, wearing the Kamen Rider Black RX suit, with Kryptonian DNA implanted in him and having eaten Popeye’s spinach while possessing quantum powers like Dr. Manhattan and having mastered Hokuto Shinken.

Because honest to god? I can't imagine it

 

I don't speak the asians :o

 

tfw no youtube subs to decide the popularity of media for me

 

I watch them for the Bond girls. The movies with Daniel Cuck suck tho.

 

Andrew: We are really super-villains now, like... like Dr. No.
Warren: Yeah, back when Bond was Connery, and movies were decent.
Jonathan: Who remembers Connery? I mean, Roger Moore was smooth.
Warren: You're insane. You're short, and you're insane.
Andrew: I like Timothy Dalton! *gets slapped* Hey!
Warren: Don't make me pull over, okay?

 

Now that you say that, instead of a Bond girl, if we had a girl who was bond I would probably watch it

 

They already made M a female when Judi Dench played the character, ain't that good enough for ya? It's bad enough that Daniel Craig is blonde when Bond was originally described as dark-haired!!!!!!!1 /s

I don't know about the US, but in the UK it's normal for one of the old Bond movies to be aired on a Sunday afternoon. So Jube is right that it appears to the older crowd. I still know plenty of younger people who go to see the newer ones when they come out at the cinema though. Not me, I'm not a fan.

What about 1997's GoldenEye for the N64 though? That's still hailed as one of the best video games of all time and still talked about now. So even if you don't hear about James Bond in move-based discussions, I'd be surprised if you had never heard about the game being talked about.















YOU HAVEN'T SEEN BACK TO THE FUTURE??

 

I-I was hoping that'd be lost >>

 

lol even I've seen Back to the Future and... I'm me. XD I haven't seen anything important! XD

You shoudl watch Back to the Future, really, it's great. XD Plus do you know how much work Michael J. Fox put into making that movie? XD He filmed it at the same time he was working on Family Ties, and the show only let him do the movie on the condition that he only work it during nights, and still do the show during the weekdays. So he would film for Family Ties all day and then leave and go film Back to the Future all night, grab a short rest, and then go back to work on Family Ties. And then every weekend they would cram as much daytime-filming for Back to the Future as they possibly could, so he didn't even get weekend breaks. XD

People owe it to him to watch the movie, lol, if anything just outta respect for how much work he did to bring it to us <3

(I love Michael J. Fox, btw, if no one got that.) XD