Ah, the greatest belief and saying, “Having a child brings the greatest joy in life.†Ehh, not so much. A newborn child definitely changes everything in a marriage, that is a fact. However, according to recent studies, psychologists have discovered that having a child rather brings unhappiness to a marriage than it brings happiness. ONE example, personal time is definitely cut between the spouses with their arrival, and it increases over the years. Studies show that happiness is at its peak immediately after marriage, and stays in its peak during the time when a couple is expecting their child. After birth, the happiness plummets and it is at its lowest during the child's ages of 12-16, and it heightens back to its peak when their child leaves home. This information and discussion was aired on the news not so long ago, and there are many articles on it. If you're curious, find them, and read them [Google]. But, do post your thoughts, my lovelys.
well that makes me feel loved *pouts* - im the only child in my family who is between 12 - 16 - seeing as brothers are 11 and 17 But that does make sense, I mean, everything needs to be for the child. Personal time would be cut short, but doesn't seeing a little smile on their face make the parents happy. I mean if they were expecting the child, then the least they should do is feel good about it. Sure money would also be a problem, but that's the one time in their life in their life that they need their parents - after like the age of 8 - that goes down the toilet as they would rather be with their friends. Parents should really consider if having a baby is for them, and if it isn't well, don't have one. There is no other way of putting this.
Parents woh have a right to say they aren't happy with their child, at any age, are not worth being called parents. Parents woh don't expect some types of unhappiness from their child shoudn't even have a child. Parents are usually unhappy the most when their child is in it's teens is because they realize their child is growing up and the parents feel useless, it's natural, but it's somewthing they have to deal with if they care about their child. All I can say is being a parent has it's ups and downs, but you should only care about the child, even if you don't ge ton with the other parent, th ey should both be caring for their child.
Yes i agree with you completely PaW.The one thing i've noticed is that some teen girls actually want babies because they're cute other peoples kids are a joy but when there baby is born because they don't wear protection in the bed they grow tired of it and they leave it to its own.The chances are that the mother has been through the same thing.Kids aren't toys,they aren't disposable,They are a life long commitment and need care.My parents brought me up right and thats we i'm intelligable like you PaW but in other cases they abandon or not care for there child and that isn't allowed.The Parents should bring up there child not let it to fend for itself.
I wouldn't say they have no rights to be parents. However, I would say that it is time to analyze their lives and to stop being so selfish. If a child birth is planned for and people want children, it can be a very beautiful thing. However, if they just get married and are having unprotected sex, expect to not have a kid etc...then they are screwed up in their thoughts. The same goes for teens that go around having unprotected sex. Sometimes though things happen. There is a natural burden with having children, whether kids want to hear it or not and even the best planned out parents get tossed loopholes. There are times when any parent could wish they could put the kid back. There are times when kids are mad at their parents and ungrateful and that can drive any parent up the wall. Emotions change in people and it's normal to get frustrated at any situation if it's not going all too well. The key to happiness with children or anything in life is to stop putting expectations on things. Expectations and selfishness are the two reasons I think that parents fail at having kids often. Kids are going to be themselves so placing too much on them is going to be really hard to do and often will lead to disappointment. Also, placing too many expectations on the parents beyond doing the best they can is just going to mean the parents can't live up to the tasks either. Parenting is a day by day thing and though you want to plan for things like putting away money for them for college and ensuring they can go to the doc and dentist and get the best education they can...well anything else is just up in the air and better left that way. Some people though really don't want to live that way and it makes them unhappy. Selfishness is the other thing. Too many adults are not willing to cater their lives around having a third, fourth or whatever new member to their homes. Especially since now they have to take care of them and be called out of work, go on errands etc that take away from 'private time'. If parents are stuck on the fact their lives have to change, they aren't ready for the big step. Having kids doesn't mean 'life is over'. It simply means that now you have to alter things in your life so that the new persons are included and still take time out for the parents too. I think having kids would be cool when I'm ready for it financially because then I could play games and sports with them, go take them on vacations to see things and well watch them grow up. Of course, this takes away from time at the bar or whatever. I suppose though that means that the person I'd be having kids with would be someone I consider a friend as well as more than that so I can stand being around her. Makes sense, huh? Of course, parents need to get away now and then but that's also what a babysitter is for, or paying a relative if possible. The issue is a serious one and I do think that parents can learn to appreciate their 'new lives' more but have to be willing to do so because it is much different than living single or with someone else. You have to make time and have the feeling inside that now your life is bigger than before, not smaller. Too many parents feel life is done with and they are just there for the kids but really if they feel instead that they are there for the 'family' including themselves, they will feel a lot better. Unfortunately, there really aren't books or guides on being good parents and feeling the right way. When a kid is young though, there shouldn't be such tension if they learn to think and feel that there is a great thing to having kids such as the activities you can do with them that make you look like a dork if you do them without kids. :) Teenage years can be hard for a parent to cope with but if they've instilled good things in the kids at young ages, those teens won't be so bad either and parents and teens can become closer because you can loosen the cord. There are problems that happen with kids at any age, but keeping positive IS part of the parents' jobs. However, I wouldn't just say it's the parents' fault and all. They can turn things around but sometimes anyone needs to have a helping hand to see where they are going wrong.
*sarcasm*I feel so happy now.*sarcasm* That makes sense though since, 12-16 is when they're the most rebellious.
