Ienzo

well, i sent her a message on fb saing happy b-day (mainly because her b-day isnt on fb so i dont think she wants a wall overload of happy birthdays) and it was all good. she thanked me for being considerate. i think my day just increased in happiness by infinity.

there is alot in my head that a negative voice is telling me.

she said she didnt really mind that i liked her. it was all fine then. but like i said, i messed up alot and now i just dont know. she may not be bugged but i always feel like i bug her.

i guess if she gets on facebook... but what if she does hate me? then i would be bugging her on her birthday...

Yeah i guess, but i heard her say she's doing things on her birthday with family. and no school tomorrow...

ah.... it's her birthday tomorrow... this is going to be hard for me.

alright, i will. thanks :D

but no matter what anybody says ( i know you didnt), she's worth it for me. unless i die a sad man.

as of now, no. last update in how i felt to her was like... 2-3 months ago. I used to be able to open up to her. Even when i went a little crazy, its my way of reasuring that she was my friend. and all it did was make me miserable for freaking out or getting mad, or jealous, or even upset. and ow im afraid to tell her, i dont want her to like... kill me. she never liked it when i brought up my feelings to her after the last freakout. now its bottling up inside for months and my heart is going to collapse on itself. no exageration. I am about to lose my mind. in fact, i honestly think it'll kill me. like medically kill my blood preasure and give me a heart attack.

that is exactly how i feel... but i really dont want to let her go. its too hard right now. I cant do it unless i have someone else to lean on. It doesnt make much sense, but honestly, i just want to care for someone special, and i want them to feel the same. I really like her. like... i ALMOST feel the other "L" word is in order. but im just so... unstable.

She's all i think about all day. but my problem is, yes, I do entangle her with school. She's there. in 2 of my classes, she sits right behind me. and for some reason i feel like she dislikes my presence. she probably doesnt but everytime i get my hopes up i get hurt a little more. Its hard for me at school. Me and her were kinda close in summer when i first started liking her too. I freaked out a few times because some things got to me a little bit and i was paranoid since i was in recovery fom previous heartbreak. and now i think i like... scared her off, or pissed her off. even if she's nice to me, i can't enjoy it. i just think the worst so pain cant surprise me. but now its constant pain... sorry bout that. kinda need to open up to some people. ive been keeping it in a long time.

hai hai hai hai :3

Hey there! How are you doing?

Did we ever get MSN working?

You're welcome x3 Ah problems with anxiety is the worst @_@. but so glad you've learned to deal with it. Stress with stuff gets to anyone. Things get to everyone at one point or another. It's just another one of those things we have to learn to deal with. Even when you're just ready to burn everything XD Im not crazy>.>. OMG sill string? xD that must have been fun XD

Ah I see. Eek nu stressing!!! Don't stress stress nu helps anything! D: Just take you're time with the work. I know its normal to stres over school but sometims theres no reason too @_@. I am here to root you on, on your exam!!! :=D:

^^ Not to well right now. ; ; but im loving the snow <3 so rare when it snows here x3. Hows are you?

Trust me I want to do it I just have to find a time where my brother will be gone so I can use the computre that has GIMP on it ; ;

me so stupid i didnt save the render you saved me can you re send it please? ; ;

merry christmas

Almost all save for Re:coded (tried it in jap tho) and BBS but I'll play it after I pass all subjects