Catch the Rain

It would... I might kill someone just to see what will happen, is what I was saying.

I believe that it is. Principles are principles because they bind you of your own choice like the laws of physics do without your choice. I choose not to kill anyone. That is a principle. If I kill someone, it ceases to be a principle. If what is right changes with each occurrence, then forethought about such scenarios is useless, and you have no real principles to speak of.

It is the opposite with me... I get over emotional turmoil far more easily than physical unrest. I get into arguments and get over them very quickly. I have quick flashes of emotion and then level out again later that day. I make a practice of breaking and reforming any kind of emotional bonds to things. Call me morbid, but I have some trouble growing seriously attached to people. I have my negative traits, and it would be a very harsh blow if they ended up disliking me for it after had taken it for granted that we would stay in contact forever. I could change myself, and often times do, but it is easier to treat a friendship as if it is fragile and then be relieved later if it proves that it is not. I am far more bothered by trying and doing badly than not getting a chance to try at all. Then it is not my fault. I have the same problem with focusing... I am wont to think about recent conversations, people that I have met, and how I might have done things better at those times while doing any one thing, particularly if it is a menial task. And that is the point... I can be disappointed when I am told to expect something, but otherwise I know that I am placing my bets and am ready for it if my gamble fails. I have no feeling of nor a need for certainty in my outcomes, unless they are major risks that I cannot help but see the losing nature of.

Of course. The problem with your way of seeing that is that reality has to seem real to be the only thing that we have to you. Think about it this way: reality only seems more real than a dream to you because you spend more time in reality than you do in dreams. If you dreamed and remembered your dreams more than you were awake and remembered you waking life, it would feel more natural to you to be dreaming than waking. If reality itself is a dream of some kind, then you have never experienced anything more real than that dream. So... What is to stop you from assuming that the dream is all that is real? That all that exists in this world is you. Why should you assume that everyone is there to share the dream? This means that I do not exist. You are imagining me as you might a person in a dream. This is the feeling that I described from earlier.

That is the problem for me. I find it harder to observe people when they seem real to me. I feel bad for just watching them. In a dream, however... I can do whatever I want. I have all of the people that I could ever want to observe, and they all have no feelings to be hurt. Wonderful to behold, isn't it?

It is a very famous series, so whenever you get the time...

That is annoying. Do you remember it now?

Well, you're obviously liek such a n00b omg. i give u infract becuz of yuor newbness omg.

Not at all! CtR, you are a very good person and a very respectable Admin. I could never forget you. :3

Yes well the guy your nephew saw is always watching you! >:[

OH good :'D Lol sence ive been sick I get angered easly so sence I kept screwing up I started cursing>.>

Im glad you like them! and thank you<3

Sure you are D:

Yeah I wouldn't put it on your list.

Have you watched Angel Beats? D:

Oh wow. I hope it's still there. @-@ What happened to your computer? D:

School's going well. Started almost three weeks ago so far I only dislike one class and that's math. << I really dislike my teacher. My other two classes are somewhat entertaining so it's not so bad as I thought it'd be.

I wish I could say yes, but they are all on my sister's side. And the ones that can can't because my mother doesn't "except them."

Well, it's not such a big deal. Besides, you're like a queen bee. What's this talk of scary? You're top gun 'round hear!

It aired last season, just one of the ones I watched every week when it came out. It was alright I guess, kinda short but I'm guess it will have another season eventually.

Dammit... I can't find it now lol
I'll send it later once I find it again. XD

That is one of the conditions under which I might kill someone.

The difference is that in one, an action happens. You do something. In the other, an event happens. You are subject to external reality. Fear of an internal possibility is the regret that I speak of, and fear of an external possibility is true worrying.

Then you have to bend your morals permanently. "Never compromise. Not even in the face of Armageddon."

I am quick to accept or deal with an external reality if all that it causes emotional pain. I am far more likely to get angry than fearful when I fail to do something. I do not think about the future much at all in an emotional context. I do not dwell on or make plans for anything. I am bad at it. I am not good at thinking ahead; only thinking about the now in all ways possible. Having no real expectations makes things easier for me.

That is what I am speaking of. Derealization... And false awakenings in sleep contribute to that. I do not see it as BS. There is no real way to know, after all, and sometimes the world seems too strange to be real. You realize that you have have no memories that do not feel like dreams in some way. All fades away in the face of the things around you, and you are the center of the word. I love that moment so much as that it hurts.

No. Not worth my time. I would prefer to have my dead boards come to life again in all their glory.

I posted it in the "I drew KHV" thread, so that is probably where you saw it. It is from the manga 20th Century Boys, and it is the only scene in a manga that has made me want to cry. That series is a must read if you have the time. Get on it. I mean it.

lol wow xD I failed with the spoiler code ; ;

As said there are the pics. Im trying to think of a story D: Ohs D: I bet you are great! :o

here are the drawings <3

this is the one that started it all.



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[IMG] I was so proud of this one><



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I'm the nice man who gives you candy c:

Come into my van and I'll take you to candy mountain ^_^

That's very true... its the same with Hollywood. And yeah, like I said the few I've seen are usually hospital-bound characters about to die or something. Though I just remembered in this anime I watched called Psychic Detective Yakumo there was a girl in a wheelchair. At a hospital, but she was became part of the plot cause her dad was the doctor and needed an specific organ that the main character's uncle had so he killed him to save his daughter. o.O

Ctr, r u hear to stay 4eva?

Glad to help you find it then, haha. I always mean to listen to more of The Cure but I never do, my sister quite likes them though. Kaki King is very amazing, I highly suggest you listen to her cover of An Horse's Camp Out, and her song Doing the Wrong Thing. I will definitely listen to that cover though I should probably listen to the original first. xD

I always remember one of my diary entries from when I was probably in first grade, it was a letter to my friend Asia. I'm fairly sure it went like this:
"Dear Asia. Do you thnk Hnatt is tall? Love ..."
When I wrote 'Hnatt' I was trying to spell Heather. xD I showed it to the girl Heather a few years ago, she laughed and now I call her Hnatt a lot.
Most of my other diaries were usually about Pokemon or expressing hatred towards my sister. It was funny too, because said diary had like pigs on it, haha. I wish I still had it. :c

I have been trying really hard to get my act together and do things on time but it just has not been working. :x Everyone was all "... you must shape up, this is going to catch up to you and you're going to flunk junior year!" but I've been fine, haha. Now of course they're telling me I'll never make it in college, haha.

It was definitely fun, even considering that there was this guy that was probably three times my size in front of me. xD I remember really wishing that they played Like the Angel though, because that is my favorite Rise Against song. :'c They were very excellent live though.

It was very upsetting because Johnny Foreigner and Los Campesinos! are two of my favorite bands currently, when I saw that they were touring together I'm like "hnnnnggggg must go". xD My friend and I were talking about seeing someone this summer, I suggested Xiu Xiu but I'd be a little afraid to see them. ._. My cousin keeps trying to get me to see blink-182 with her but I am very against them being back together. D: Plus they are currently in Europe, haha.
Aw, sad. D: I always mean to listen to Blue October too, because I really like Into the Ocean.

Yeah, but I am not scarred, per se. I just like the feeling of taking a risk. Of not knowing what will happen next.

Ah, yeah; now, see, that is where the regret would come in. Then you feel apprehension towards a future act and not fear towards a future event. It is quite a different thing when you are doing something yourself and are worrying about the consequences. Then it is the fear that comes with gambling, and I enjoy that very much indeed.

I fear regret the most of anything. That is not to say that it is a very strong fear. I just fear everything else so little as to make it large by comparison. I care more about moral choices than hands that are not won.

I see where you are coming from, but I often consider the notion that my friends could die or be dead right now without my knowing. Considering the possibilities ahead of time makes things easier when they happen in my experience. That is not to say that I think depressing thoughts all of the time, but I get over a death before it happens so that when it does, I am not hit hard by it. Always the thoughtful one, me... And there are notions like my most common one of this life being a dream. I would think that considering the fact that people are not real helps you to deal with that.

I wish that I could still be a member of them all, regardless of my status there. I have forgotten entire groups of people because the forums linking us got shut down. More melancholy about this subject to come...

"I am Collins. From my position in the moon's orbit, I watched Armstrong and Aldrin land and walk on the surface. I was so close to the ground of the moon, and yet I returned without having trod upon it... I am Collins." ~ Friend

I'm guessing they just figure no one wants to watch a show about a handicap person lol. I mean you don't really see any "overweight" girls in anime either.