Yes, I'm making a freaking help with life thread

Right, well, okay, i feel really pathetic for asking for help on this type of thing on a freaking internet forum. D: Never done anything like this before, but i really don't know what else to do.

Okay, yes it is all about a freaking relationship, i understand most people probably think it's pointless but this entire situation is confusing the hell out of me so deal with it.

So I'm dating this kid named Andrew. He's 2 years older than me and we've been dating since October 16th. I have no classes with him, not even lunch. We met because we were both on the cross country team at our school.

Right, so to explain this, i need to go back. like pretty far back. Also on the cross country team was this girl named Meghan and a french exchange student named Luc. So Andrew and I met in cross country and he decided to ask me to homecoming, where I obviously said yes. 10 days later he asked me out. During this time, Meghan was also asked to homecoming and went out with Luc in the exact same timeframe. However, Andrew and Meghan had known each other for ages and were good friends.

So time passed by and both of our relationships developed. Andrew and me got closer, started calling each other nearly every night, and yes, i did make out with him a few times. Meghan and Luc were even closer than us, they make out nearly every time they see each other and talk on the phone nearly 4 hours a night. He bought her a $120 ring for christmas.

Since Andrew didn't ask me out until October 16th, cross country ended a week later. Then we had 3 weeks with no comittments after school. God, that was wonderful. We'd hang out every day and there was this one spot in the school where nobody goes after school but it has this awesome view and we'd go there and just sit there and talk. It was great.

Well, that ended, because Andrew is a diver. Yes, this means he's on the diving team, and Diving practice had to start. Me and my friend Chelsea both seriously considered doing diving because there are guys on the team that both of us like. (I like andrew and she likes another guy on the diving team.) However, we opted out of it at the last minute because my stress fracture from Cross Country was still hurting a bit and neither of us had any experience in the sport whatsoever.

Around this time was when the first slightly weird thing happened. Andrew is only allowed to drive one person to diving practice which takes place at a seperate location from the school for the reason that there aren't any diving boards at our school pool. When I was going to do diving, I was expecting him to drive me, but he told me that he couldn't because he was going to drive Meghan, who was also, obviously, a diver. She dove last year as well.

So the after school stuff had to end and Andrew began going to diving practice every day after school. But it was all still good. He'd still call me on the phone a lot and on weekends we hung out a ton. When I first started dating him, i wasn't sure how much i liked him, but as we dated i started to like him a lot more. Meghan's boyfriend Luc also did diving, so she was with him all the time. However, Meghan is the only girl diver on the entire diving team. Andrew spends lots of time with her.

So I started looking at Meghan's myspace and noticed in around June that her and andrew had exchanged about 100 incredibly flirtacious comments over the course of 3 days. Now I don't really care about that, it was a while ago. However, I do remember Andrew telling me the only reason he decided to join Cross Country was because of 'friends.' Practice started in June. Meghan was on cross country. ......?

Andrew also had a girlfriend last year named Megan, but it was a diferent megan. No h. They dated for about a year and he broke up with her unexpectedly. It was later revealed that this was because he liked Meghan.

Now he was a really nice and good boyfriend most of the time but in the past 2 weeks he's been odd. Christmas break means more of him seeing the diving team and less of him seeing me. He hasn't been calling me back or answering any of my texts. Last night a bunch of people hung out at meghan's house and hung out and it was the strangest it's been. He barely sat by me and didn't even act like he liked me at all. I was really really sad afterwards. I texted him and asked him if anything was wrong on the way home. No answer.

Now I'm really really upset because I like him a ton, more than i did before, and as i'm starting to like him more it almost seems like he likes me less, and it's really upsetting me because i don't care if he liked meghan all along and wanted to be with her, but i feel like if he did he shouldn't have even dated me and got me into this mess because he knows that since Luc is an exchange student he's leaving in june so meghan and luc won't be together forever. I feel like if that's true he might just be using me until meghan's done with luc or something, and that really pisses me off because i don't want to believe it because i like him a ton but with the way he's been acting i don't know what to do.

I really don't want to break up with him. I want this to be resolved. I need to talk to him. But if he never answers my texts or phonecalls and acts like i don't even know him when we hang out, how the hell am i supposed to do that.

God i am so confused. and i just ranted about my personal life online. I feel really pathetic.
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If he won't answer your calls or texts, it's best to talk to him about this face to face. he can't ignore you then, and if he does, it's obvious something is up.

best of luck with everything, orange.

 

Yeah something must be up if he's not answering them, It's quite obvious.

This.^
I agree with J.

 

I say stab the muther***er...

Nah, seriously,if he is gonna be like this, he isnt worth your time... People say that alot but when it really comes down to it, they mean it... I mean, your a great chick so dont worry about it...

 

In the end, sometimes instinct is right, Orange. If Luc is leaving, which means Meghan becomes free and your bf is acting more distant from you, it seems likely something is going on and he's confused and may not be so into your relationship anymore.

People's feelings change and it doesn't mean he's bad or you are. School relationships are pretty well like this often. I'd say that you should probably try to talk to him directly and ask him what his actual feelings are on the relationship he has with you and that you do notice his distancing so if something is up, just say it. You may, by instinct and logic, already have the right answer but he should be a man and say so. He may have another reason for this behavior too, in which you should know so if there's a chance to salvage the relationship, it can be done. In either case, he should be more up front and to get him to do it, you may just have to meet with him somewhere.

I hope you'll hang in there and stay strong. It hurts to lose someone in a relationship but you'll definitely find someone else later if that's the case and well, remember the good times and that relationships unfortunately have beginnings and endings until you find the right person. If it turns out he just has some other issue, well, he should explain that too. I'd say though at this time it's important to listen to the logic and intuition here even if it hurts emotionally and get him to talk and be straight with you.

 

He's a guy. Guys think with thier brians sometimes, and thier ****s other times. Honestly, to me it looks like he just dated you to have some fun until he could get with this other chick. If you think that's the case, you're probably right. What you need to do is talk to him face to face, ask him about it and if you still don't feel like he likes you then I'd say break up with him. If he's not answering your texts or calls he's probably pretty much done with you. It's what guys do when they don't feel like breaking up with you face to face. I suggest you slap him a few good times if that makes you feel better. In the end even if you don't want to break up with him if he's going to ignore you and act like you don't exist then you are better off moving on and finding someone better.

 

° I'd talk to him, if I were you.
Sorry, I'm not very good at giving advice...
But I hope things will work out. °

 

Confront Him and Ask why he's ignoring you, and that's pretty f'd up to do to you D :

He could at least told you what was going on or something, And He's a **** for not doing that...

 

Thanks for the advice guys. <3

Yeah, i texted him on 2 different occasions today and he hasn't responded. I'm not sure what i should do. Should I call him and see what's going on? I know there's a party for only swimmers and divers tonight. idk if he's going..
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Call him. If he doesn't answer either crash the damn party or find a friend who swims/dives and tell them to go and ask him why he's ignoring you.

 

Lol, I already know exsactly what you should do in this kind of situation.

Right now, you should give him a call, see if he picks up. Idk if u just want to talk or if you want to ask him whats up.

Before that though, let me ask, do you have any friends that can text him? If you do, then have them text him to see if he replies or not. THey just need to text him to ask whats up though.


If he does not reply to you, then, as much as I hate to say it, Ghetto was right b4. Dudes who dont have the balls to break up face to face will probably just end up ignoring you. If he doesnt answer any of your texts by a certain amount of time, then you should just send him a text that says 'we're through' and see how he reacts.



sry if it sounds rash, but really, he's treating you unfairly. I don't know lots about you, but from what everyone else says your a pretty good person, so you deserve better then some dude who's too small to even break up face to face or atleast tell you that it isnt working out instead of doing what he is now, after all, would a real boyfriend put you through the kind of stuff your going through right now?




Trust me, I've had a similure situation with a chick, so if things dont work out, then trust me, I feel ur pain >.>