Who else out there hates almonds the way I do?

I'm dead serious. I am at my wit's end with this almond worship in the world. Every place you go sells them mixed in with actual delicacies like cashews and peanuts. Every trail mix. Every can of mixed nuts. Now even green beans and chocolate are littered with this god damn squirrel food. Whoever thinks that sprinkling dispenser food from a petting zoo makes food taste better should be tortured. Waterboard the prick. There's no hope.

If I wanted to eat something with the texture of a tree branch, I'd eat driftwood. Every time I go camping and enjoy the great outdoors, when I'm sitting in my motorhome watching TV I have to eat some specially ordered trail mix I got off the internet like I have a fetish or something. If someone wants to start an anti-almond organization, I'll happily join. I'll go to meetings. I'll make signs and raid almond farms I don't care. If you feel the way I do, speak out now. You don't need to feel cast out of society any more.

 

**** you almonds are delicious

 

Almonds are fantastic.

 

Almonds are disgusting